Rules for Inflicting St. Patrick’s Day Pinches

pinching-hand

I have succeeded in pinching 4, 5, 6, 7 8 people so far, and it is still morning. And not just lightly either; they said I am not playing by the rules. BUT, I totally AM. After much searching and cross-examinination to find a rulebook for St. Patrick’s Day Pinching, I have decided to come up with a compilation of rules. Here is what I found:

Eat your hearts out, non-green wearers, for you WILL be pinched.

THE RULES

1.      Must be wearing green (in clothing) not on clothing. Green nail polish, green hair barrettes, and green stars are all examples of things that DO NOT count. Thus, you will be pinched.

2.      You are obligated to pinch someone not wearing green, if you don’t the leprechauns will not give you any luck and you will be miserable for the next ten years.

3.      Green MUST be visible, to not be pinched. (Green undergarments DO NOT count, unless you are willing to show them)

4.      Doesn’t matter if you don’t celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. You MUST wear green. Everyone else celebrates it, so you will be pinched, this is not a choice.

5.      The pincher has the right to pinch the non-green wearer as many times as he/she wants, however if you inadvertently pinch someone that IS wearing green (i.e. green must be in clothing—visibleness is key– green stars, barrettes, etc. DO NOT count, see Rule 1) than that person can pinch the inflictor back 10 times.

6.      Conspire with others to find out who you may have missed (pinching wise). Compare notes, go back and pinch the people you missed.

7.      Pinch hard enough to leave a bruise; that way the non green wearer will have a green bruise left from your pinch…thus they will then be wearing green.

8.      Take advantage of this day of abuse. Make sure to pinch people you really don’t like hard. This tactic might also keep them away from you in the future, especially at work.

9.      Tell everyone that is not wearing green that you are doing them a favor: wearing green hides you from the evil leprechauns. Trust me, you don’t want to run into one of THOSE. I am doing you a favor by pinching you….kinda like the cootie shot, only better!

10. Those that have the “secret card” are home free, put it in your wallet/purse and give it to those that try and pinch you. Do you have the secret card?

 

Well, hope this helps those of you that are mean like me see clarity in your pinching rights because it is important to know your rights as a pincher.

Happy Pinching, and hope you all have a good St. Patrick’s Day!

"secret card"

"secret card"

 

SOURCES: Wikipedia, Yahoo Answers, ask.com, Ken, and other miscellaneous websites.

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7 Comments

Filed under holidays, humor

7 responses to “Rules for Inflicting St. Patrick’s Day Pinches

  1. Barbara

    Pinch them, and pinch them hard. Luck to us for the next 10 years.

  2. Last year I celebrated St. Patrick’s Day in a bar and I got a little green hat. I want another hat :(.

    I wish I knew about the pinching rules – I’d get to pinch everyone here cause no-one knows about St. Patrick’s ^_^.

  3. ken1981

    At least you spelled my name right.. Ha Ha…and yes very witty

  4. Happy St Paddy’s — come see me; I’ve tagged you with something. Hugs.

  5. I didn’t wear green today. Man.. I’m glad I don’t work with you!

  6. How do you look for information for your blog content?

  7. Great post, but its a bit long and most people like short and sweet posts!

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