Burning Love Confessions

Me:  My butt burns.

Hubby: Why?

Me: I have had the squirts all day.

Hubby: You are so romantic.

Me: Don’t you love me?

Hubby: Of course, Squirts and all.

Then later, while lying in bed warm, comfortable and cozy.. a foul, smell wafts up to my nose (kind of like a mixture of raw sewer and bad eggs–I felt like you needed the analogy)

 Me: Did you fart? I smell farts!

Hubby (snickering): ummmm it wasn’t me….well, yea, I guess I did, but I thought the fart was trapped under the covers, I don’t know how it got out!

Me: OMG! Your butt is SO foul!

Hubby: Don’t you love me?


These are the things they don’t warn you about when you get married….farts and all. Just for the record…Hubby NEVER farted in the bed when we were dating.

What happened?



Filed under Love

7 responses to “Burning Love Confessions

  1. rondabeyer

    The first fart in bed says the honeymoon is over (lol)… My hubby says that men fart and women pertz, works for me, I just blame the dog…. Love your blog, happy holidays…

  2. deek1973

    It’s just one of the job hazards…I’ve heard that after 55, it’s just best to sleep with Vicks VapoRub under your nose…for frequency reasons…I’m just sayin’.

  3. Tim

    Sounds like the honeymoon is definitely over. I’m sending you some clothes pins for Christmas! (For your nose.)

  4. The fart talk in our house has never really materialized. We pretty much skipped over it and straight to poop. Lots of poop talk in our house. Who’s doing it, how frequently, color, texture, etc. Quite frankly.. fart talk would be a nice change in pace…..

  5. My husband warned me early on, VERY early on. So I guess, in a manner of speaking, he covered his a** as far as that subject goes! 😀

    Everyone in my house knows that if I fart, I’ll blame the baby. Even if he’s in the other room. That’s how you know it’s me.

  6. steppingthru

    At least he didn’t pull the covers over your head and hold you there. Mine did that once and he has never attempted it again. I almost ripped him a new one. Yeah, the romance is definetly different now!

  7. rozewolf

    All I could think about was the filk called “you are the wind beneath my sheets”

    By the way, we blame those noxious odors on the dog.

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