The “B” Word

babies

Ok, so I have another confession: I dislike babies.

I don’t understand them and I don’t like them. I recently found my long, lost twin sister in blog land, (ok she isn’t my real twin sister, but it seems like IF I met her, she and I would hit it off immediately) her recent blog:  baby talk (conversations with my mother). sums up my feelings on this topic EXACTLY.

It isn’t that I HATE them, it is just that I don’t understand them and everyone’s obsession with it being “my turn.” NO PEOPLE. I do not want to spawn offspring. I know they will be of the devil. I was a demon child, and I know that if I were to have a child, mine would be a thousand times as horrid as I was. No.thank.you. I don’t mind kids once they are 5-6 years old because at least then they can tell you what they want, and they go to school, but babies, all they do is eat, sleep and poop and quite frankly that is my sole ambition in life, so the competion in itself would kill me.

And who needs that kind of competition anyways? Not me.

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13 Comments

Filed under fears

13 responses to “The “B” Word

  1. Good for you! There are plenty of babies in the world already, so I applaud those who make a rational choice not to add to overpopulation. 🙂 Congrats!

  2. shaebby89

    haaa ! thats really funny. im not particularly fond of babies either. but im around them so much, i know that motherhood will be in my future. I feel your pain !

  3. Wrong! Babies are the coolest thing ever!

    You are absolutely correct in saying that people’s obsession with it being “your turn” is even more wrong. I never get that about people, I think its either a) misery loves company (there is misery associated with babies, have to take a balanced approach in my contentions or b) people like to tell other people how to live their lives. Or both.

    Just to recap: babies are supercool, and its okay not to want them or be uncomfortable around them.

  4. bookishpenguin

    I don’t like any babies except my sister’s son. I don’t even like my sister-in-law’s son as much (probably because we’re not related). I’ve never really enjoyed kids in general – I find many of them to be too annoying to stand for more than half an hour.

    So I know where you’re coming from… but if I could have a kid like my nephew, I’d take three. It’s such a weird thing.

  5. Hmm, your cats and dog mainly eat, sleep and poop, are you sure you’re being fur to babies?

  6. warriorwitch

    I hear ya.

    I can’t imagine a little me running around.

    Isn’t one enough?

  7. I am with you … I have evil stepspawn and I don’t know what to do with them. I’ll stick to fur-kids; they never have an agenda nor do they projectile vomit.

  8. rastabator

    Amen to that! I reckon the only reason people with babies keep on at people without babies is out of jealousy because we have retained our independence!

    P.S. Just starting to get my head around this blog thing so your comments were very much appreciated. Thank you!

  9. I admire you for knowing what you want and sticking to it. It’s for everyone!

  10. This is Dog Girl speaking:
    Babies are waaaaay over-rated.
    And babies squirt (I’m still on the squirt thing).
    But too be honest, the reason why I didn’t have kids was because ex-hubby’s guys were… not athletic swimmers, if you get my drift.
    Now at 50, my eggs are hard-boiled and I have accepted a child-free lifestyle…
    Anyways, I am helping raise BF’s grandson
    (he is 3 1/2 years old). That’s enough work for us!

  11. but babies grow up to be really cool kids that do all sorts of stuff that makes you just so, you know, proud!

    Of course they can also be a pain in the but but hey, I wouldn’t be without my kid, even though he is 17 and all he wants from me is my money (of which I don’t have any!).

  12. daintygrape

    No bebes here either! The best part about them is giving them back to who they belong to.

  13. silentorchestra

    ahhaha I also can’t imagine a little thing like me running around in the world. It’s a scary, scary thought.

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