Monthly Archives: February 2009

Wii Cheating

Hubby is a MarioKart Cheater.

He just IS.

So, we then decide to play Wii Monopoly–after I almost break Hacim’s coffee table in my fit of rage….just kidding, but really his house is not me-proof….I am kinda a crazy wii player.

And now Hubby is trying to beat the computer at Monopoly. Since I won’t play with him anymore.

He thinks the wii computer person is cheating.

Yea, right…..

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Filed under Cheaters, Wii

Road Trips…

So, yesterday, Hubby and I got in the car and decided to go visit my friend Hacim (see Where do Babies Come From? ) since he wouldn’t come visit me.  And since I have two “furlough” days at work this week. Yea, that means days off with no pay. Isn’t life grand? Gotta love the economy. Not that I am complaining about the days off…that part I like, but the part without pay is the part I am not so fond of.

Anyways, after the long, boring road trip of “are we there  yets?” We finally are almost there.

Texting

Me: Are you excited to see me? We are 30 minutes away.

Hacim: Not really.

In Person

Me: Where do babies come from?

Hacim: Your ass.

This should be a fun weekend! 🙂

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Filed under Friends, Road Trips

The Tree Weed

Tiger, the Tree Weed

Tiger, the Tree Weed

We rent in an Home Owner’s Association (HOA) neighborhood. The HOA is pretty crazy about how your house looks, ie IF you have any weeds, trash cans out, statues, or any other type of montrosity you will get FINED! A montrosity is deemed as anything that they don’t like or looks hideous.

Well, I have found the most hideous weed ever. It is in our neighbors yard. I have watched it grow from a small sapling of a weed, into a gynormous tree weed and I have named him Tiger, the Tree Weed. It is crazy how fast this succer has grown. I am just curious if they have gotten fined yet by the HOA because they have a lot of other weeds too (not that we don’t, but I choose not to look at our weeds)! I am thinking they really must be partial to this tree weed. Soon, it will be bigger than their house! And once that happens, I will be there taking pictures.

What do you think? Pretty big, huh. I think it is the biggest weed I have ever seen.

Tree Weed

Tree Weed

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Filed under neighbors

Banned Grocery Store Trips

pms2

Why you should never let me go to the grocery store during that time of the month.

Yea, I can mock myself, Hubby. Beat that. Who has the better sense of humor now?

Hubby: What did you get at the grocery store?

Me: Hmmm

Chocolate Chex

Chocolate donuts

Chocolate pretzels

Hubby: HOW much did all that COST?

Me: WHY? You wanna fight me? You should be thanking the chocolate gods for making me happy!

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Filed under humor

I will never…

dares

Something you should NEVER do as a NEWLYWED, courtesy of my sister and her husband:

1. Never Bribe your Husband a week’s worth of “favors” to get him to do the yardwork because he just MIGHT actually DO THAT yardwork, right Sis?

How’s that yard coming? 🙂

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Filed under humor, humor couples

The Million Dollar Question

So, once and for all. You must answer the question, truthfully, so I can finally PROVE to Hubby what I know is already true. I think secretly he knows the truth, but just doesn’t want to admit to it. I need this data to prove to him, statistically, logically and non-biasedly what I have known my whole life.

Yes, he is stubborn and needs the cold, hard facts to believe me. Because you see, once I can show Hubby this poll, we can finally get past our differences. Maybe.

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Filed under marriage

Daisy, RIP

Today’s showing of America’s Next Top Blogger is brought to you by another long-time reader and funny gal, silent orchestra.

The topic is bacon. No more details were given.

With this being said, I must say, I am not much of a bacon gal. Turkey bacon? Most definately, but regular bacon. Not.So.Much.

Here’s the reason. When I was in Adv. Bio 3-4 in Highschool we had to dissect a fetal pig. And as many of you might gather by this time, I am a big animal fan, so this was not an easy task for me. I mean, I like animals better than people! Really. They don’t talk back, stick with me people! 🙂

Anyway, due to having to dissect our fetal pig, my lab partner and I named our pig Daisy. We become very bonded to her, despite having to examine all her poor little innards. She was no longer “the fetal pig” but Daisy. The one and only. And even though she never got a real chance at life, we decided that we would let her know how much she meant to us. We talked to her…she knew about our highschool crushes, our desires, our sadness and she listended. Boy did she listen. She never judged, not once. She was a true hero and to this day I am forever grateful to Daisy. She became a really good friend and taught us so much.

She also taught us where bacon comes from. And because of this, I usually don’t eat bacon out of respect for Daisy. Poor Daisy, may she rest in peace. I will never forget her.

daisy

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Filed under America's Next Top Blogger, blogging, Challenges

Sometimes You Just Know…

true-love1

Hubby and I are in pre-bedtime routine mode. When on flips a commercial for dialing 1-800-one-5252 to find your one true love.

Hubby: I am going to dial that number to find my one true love, in case it isn’t you!

Me (handing him my phone): You better dial it now, I MIGHT not be it!

Hubby: But, what if you are? What if I call it and it says you ARE my one true love!

Me: Than you have a long, hard life ahead of you! On the other hand, you can’t get much better than me!

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Filed under humor, marriage

Sanity in the Workplace…

office-space

I received this forward today. It was just too good, not to pass on. I am especially partial to Numbers 2, 4, and 10.

And yet, I should totally try some of these tomorrow. Because if one more person asks me if I am “sick” I think I will just hack on them directly and tell them, no I just cough and talk like I am all clogged up for “fun!”

How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity in the Workplace

1. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

2. Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you’re doing. For example: “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom.”

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask them if they want fries with that.

4. Put your trash can on your desk. Label it “IN.”

5. Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. “That’s a good point, Spike.” “No, I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to disagree with you there, Sparky.”

6. High-light your shoes. Tell people you haven’t lost them as much since you did this.

7. While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive liquid. Call everyone Madge.

8. Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee or a printout or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.

9. Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people you’re waiting for your document.

10. Send e-mail back and forth to yourself engaging yourself in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.

11. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair-dancing.

12. Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.

13. Send e-mail messages saying there’s free pizza or donuts or cake in the lunchroom. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, “Oh, you’ve got to be faster than that.”

14. Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.

15. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after you boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you.)

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Filed under work

Update

 germs-1

Germs are spreading fast and mutating.

Soon my army of mucus will overtake this place! My germs will conquer you in silent, but deadly force.

Be scared, workplace people I don’t like, be very scared.

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Filed under sick, work