Daily Archives: February 13, 2009

Marriage Myths DEBUNKED

marriage

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I thought I would submit this post. Just keeping it real! 🙂

 

Myth #1: When you get married, you wear lingerie to bed every night.

ANSWER: FICTION- Mostly you wear your old, torn up tee-shirts, ratty shorts and your granny panties.

Myth #2: When you are married, you moisturize and shave your legs every night.

ANSWER: HA HA, do I really need to answer this? FICTION

Myth #3: You fall asleep in each other’s arms every night.

ANSWER: DEPENDS-on if you want to be hit in the middle of the night…Hubby is a bit of a hitter in his sleep.

Myth #4: The wifey presses, folds, and irons the Hubby’s clothes every night before bed.

ANSWER: FICTION-unless you want your clothes burned.

Myth#5: Married life is all flowers, white picket fences, and fancy dinners.

ANSWER: DEPENDS-At times it is, but it takes a lot of work and a lot of money! Neither of which we have accomplished as of yet.

Myth#6: Marry your best friend.

ANSWER: FACT-However, you don’t have to be BFF’s all the time, but be willing to be there for each other–that’s what counts!

Myth#7: Hubbys’ will pretend they hate it, but they really do like The Hills, The Bachelor, Ghost Whisperer and other girlie shows/chick flicks.

ANSWER: FACT-However, they will deny it and just feign that they want to spend time with you, when in fact they ARE interested in anything chick like, but would rather die than admit it.

Myth#8: Hubbys’ require “man caves” (AKA-basement or garage) to feel more “manly”

ANSWER: FACT-They need to do this to recover from things that are girlie (tv shows and such) and bang around on their tools….somehow, it does make them feel more manly….don’t know why.

Myth#9: If you are married and the wife, you should prance around in the kitchen in nothing but your heels and apron, while making your Hubby dinner.

ANSWER: FICTION-Hi, have you MET me? Obviously, this was a freebie.

Myth#10: When you get married, you have long nights of passion and romance.

ANSWER: This can only be explaned via the following conversation:

Hubby: Hey baby!

Me: MMM I am sleepy.

Hubby: But you just showered and shaved your legs….

Me: I am saving it for marriage…

Hubby: You ARE married..to me!

Me: The sheets are clean….

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Filed under Love, marriage, Uncategorized

Texting is Killing my Marriage…

texting

Well, almost. I mean I do have a flair for the dramatic, just a little.

 I do admit that I have  a lot of crazy traits–obsessive deleting, inability to cook pasta, screaming NOT IT in the middle of conversations with the Hubby, deafness (only when I hear something I don’t want to do), and I suppose I am a bit quirky. BUT these are all things Hubby loves about me…right Hubby?

But, I just CAN’T.STOP.TEXTING. I admit it. I am obsessed.Rather than pick up the phone (EVER) I just text. Everyone, everwhere, all the time. This is where we get into the “ruining my marriage” part. The BILL. Not pretty people, not pretty AT ALL.

Me (trying to hide the Sprint bill, miserably failing)

Hubby: What have you got there?

Me: Hmmm you aren’t going to like it. My cell bill.

Hubby: How much did you go over THIS time? I mean you HAVE 1000 texts! I have 200 and I never go over!

Me (in true addict form): I know, but it isn’t enough, it is just NOT ENOUGH…really; I promise not to do it next time (all lies, mind you)

Hubby (sighing heavily): Do you have to text so much? Why don’t you just call people?

Me: Because I HATE talking to people. Texting is in and out… I don’t have to talk and if I am bored…I can just stop texting. You should blame my cousin for teaching me!

Hubby (exasperated): BUT, you always text back; it is like you ALWAYS have to have the last word!

Me (still in denial): They must have messed it up somewhere….right? I know…I know…..it is a serious problem! Do you think they have a Texter’s Anonymous?

Me (inspired by genius): I know! We should just pitch a “texting only” plan to the cell company….do you think they would go for it? That is what I need!

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Filed under couples, Irrational