Daily Archives: March 15, 2009

Cheaters Always Prosper

sneaky

Lesson of the day: Never underestimate me because I am THAT good. 

I have just gotten out of bed, despite the fact that the pets have been at me for hours trying to wake me up to feed them—-banging my head, meowing, doing my hair, pawing at the blinds, whining, crying, vomiting, you name it they did it. But, I have not moved, not even flinched in fear of them seeing any sign of movement. It is better they think I am still asleep, so they can move on to torment someone ELSE.

Eventually, Hubby finally gets his sorry you know what out of bed to feed them, after I literally push him out of bed. I mean, it is ME who feeds them all week long, it won’t kill him to do weekend detail.

After he comes back to bed, and I get up, he sidesteps the vomit and snidely says:

Hubby: NOT IT!

Me: Doesn’t count!

Hubby: Yes it does!

Me: Nope, I called sometime around 4:30ish AM, not my fault you didn’t hear it. So, you already lost your chance.

Beat that!

Hubby: It doesn’t count if I don’t hear it.

Me: Yes it does…because you were right by me…you just CHOSE not hear me. IT COUNTS!

UPDATE: Rae heard me call NOT IT at 4:30. I WIN.

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3 Comments

Filed under NOT IT rules, Pets

My Best Feature

butt

So, it is a running joke in my family that I got the ghetto booty. I don’t have the boobs, I have the booty and everytime I see the whole family they don’t let me forget it, especially the sisters (I think they are just jealous).

My parents are in town this weekend for a quick visit and my mom was talking about how her pants are too big in the booty.

Me: I will NEVER have that problem! (Even though I am doing my morning workouts…I doubt the booty will change…I just know, and I am okay with it)

Mom: Yea, I agree, you don’t have that problem.

Me: Thanks, Mom, way to show some support. Anyways, it doesn’t matter. It is my best feature, Hubby’s favorite, in fact.

(Shouting) Right, Hubby?

Hubby (shouting from another room): I always liked your eyes.

Me (pshaw): Yea, right…..that is so lame. No one likes eyes!

Mom: AWWWWW

Me: Gag me

6 Comments

Filed under family, humor