Daily Archives: March 17, 2009

Rules for Inflicting St. Patrick’s Day Pinches

pinching-hand

I have succeeded in pinching 4, 5, 6, 7 8 people so far, and it is still morning. And not just lightly either; they said I am not playing by the rules. BUT, I totally AM. After much searching and cross-examinination to find a rulebook for St. Patrick’s Day Pinching, I have decided to come up with a compilation of rules. Here is what I found:

Eat your hearts out, non-green wearers, for you WILL be pinched.

THE RULES

1.      Must be wearing green (in clothing) not on clothing. Green nail polish, green hair barrettes, and green stars are all examples of things that DO NOT count. Thus, you will be pinched.

2.      You are obligated to pinch someone not wearing green, if you don’t the leprechauns will not give you any luck and you will be miserable for the next ten years.

3.      Green MUST be visible, to not be pinched. (Green undergarments DO NOT count, unless you are willing to show them)

4.      Doesn’t matter if you don’t celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. You MUST wear green. Everyone else celebrates it, so you will be pinched, this is not a choice.

5.      The pincher has the right to pinch the non-green wearer as many times as he/she wants, however if you inadvertently pinch someone that IS wearing green (i.e. green must be in clothing—visibleness is key– green stars, barrettes, etc. DO NOT count, see Rule 1) than that person can pinch the inflictor back 10 times.

6.      Conspire with others to find out who you may have missed (pinching wise). Compare notes, go back and pinch the people you missed.

7.      Pinch hard enough to leave a bruise; that way the non green wearer will have a green bruise left from your pinch…thus they will then be wearing green.

8.      Take advantage of this day of abuse. Make sure to pinch people you really don’t like hard. This tactic might also keep them away from you in the future, especially at work.

9.      Tell everyone that is not wearing green that you are doing them a favor: wearing green hides you from the evil leprechauns. Trust me, you don’t want to run into one of THOSE. I am doing you a favor by pinching you….kinda like the cootie shot, only better!

10. Those that have the “secret card” are home free, put it in your wallet/purse and give it to those that try and pinch you. Do you have the secret card?

 

Well, hope this helps those of you that are mean like me see clarity in your pinching rights because it is important to know your rights as a pincher.

Happy Pinching, and hope you all have a good St. Patrick’s Day!

"secret card"

"secret card"

 

SOURCES: Wikipedia, Yahoo Answers, ask.com, Ken, and other miscellaneous websites.

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Filed under holidays, humor

This is not going to be pretty…

grumpy1

In order for Hubby to make his plane tomorrow, I have to get up at 3:30AM. He is going to OWE me big time after this one. As if, getting up at 4:30AM is not ungodly enough. Tomorrow is going to be my grumpiest day EVER….that is until I get my Guiness. Stay away, I warn you….just stay away.

THIS is not going to be pretty.

I think I should make him walk to the airport; what do you think?

NOT IT!

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Filed under Life, Love

The Hostage

hostage

Hubby will be away all week at a conference and I am taking a prisoner hostage.

Side Note: a little sadness, but I get the bed to myself. Just not sure who to torment yet…maybe Rae.

So, I told Rae we are hijacking her Boy to come cook for us all week. I told him under no certain terms that I don’t feel like eating cereal for the whole week, so we need someone to come and take care of us! Me and Rae WOULD REALLY eat cereal all week–chocolate chex to be exact.

The Boy better be scared, we want a home-made dinner on the table everynight! Hubby does not envy the Boy at all and told me I better not torment him since he has quasi-agreed to come over and make us dinners.

Poor Boy, stuck with the two non-cooking, lazy sisters…poor, poor Boy indeed.

I wonder if I can get him to do some housechores? Maybe I will leave him a chore list!  🙂

UPDATE: Hostage is in house now, sleeping. Rest up my pretty, because we are expecting a full course dinner tonight!

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Filed under humor

Advice 101

Someone recently asked me how Hubby and I make it work. I racked my brain for some thought-provoking, amusing, logical answer and then I ran upon this comic, which sums it up way better than I could.

How Hubby and I make marriage work:

love

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Filed under Love, marriage