Category Archives: Challenges

Not a genius…

broken

So, I am not a genius today (shocking, right?).

I was messing around in the new site, NOT making any changes…just seeing what stuff did….and I did something. Apparently something bad cause it isn’t working.

Don’t know what I did…..but hang in there….no one is sadder than me, I think I need to not touch things anymore….

Emails to GB, web person friend, who will probably kill me—I’m thinking he needs to child proof my site  (me being the child here).

Me: Uhhhh you better take a look at my site…..it is messed up, but I didn’t do it!

GB: What did you do? Did you touch something?

Me: No

Me: Well….I mean, I DID just click one plugin thingy to see what it was…and so it MIGHT have been my fault.

GB: no answer, silence

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Filed under blogging, Challenges

Happy People and Me

Yea, so this isn’t really a surprise, but I am not a huge people person. But, you know what kind I can’t stand? The crazy, happy morning ones that are so chipper you just want to strangle them, yea you know what I am talking about, dontcha?   I think they are just plain psycho and they just plain annoy me. They stifle me with their quest for everlasting cheeriness. With that being said, one of my friends sent me the BEST.VIDEO.EVER. on those types of crazy people. And I am going to share it with you all because I think it will put a smile on your faces. So, enjoy it and next time you run into one of these types of crazy, happy people you will remember this amazing video!

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Filed under Challenges, Life

A Typical Male

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So yesterday, after I brought Americus home from the vet, Boston (her boyfriend with benefits) was a little moody. These two cats love each other so much, so I totally “get” what he is going through. Below are their actions, yet I am also incorporating the dialogue that I think went with it:

I let Americus out of her crate, Boston starts sniffing her and licking her. He obviously knows she is under the weather.

Boston (voice like Tony from the sopranos): Where you been, bizzo?

Americus (feeble-like): I have been sick. I don’t know what is going on.

Boston (voice like Tony from the sopranos): You smell like ass, let me clean you up.

Americus (feeble-like): Thanks.

They both than retreat to our bedroom closet where they decide to curl up next to each other.

Boston (voice like Tony from the sopranos): I love you, you better get better soon.

Americus (feeble-like): Yea, I am trying, but I feel like crap. Awww…you NEED me….

Boston (voice like Tony from the sopranos):  yea, whatever.

Later on, Americus moves to another room, Boston follows. Again sniffing and licking her.

Boston (voice like Tony from the sopranos): You know you should eat something! 

Americus (feeble-like):  I don’t know what that crap that mom got me is. I am so not eating it, it is SO NASTY!

Boston (voice like Tony from the sopranos): I KNOW! She tried to see if me and Patches would take a bite! We both denied her, that stuff is CRAP. What a waste of money!

As I enter the room, Boston gets up and walks away from me. Hisses at Americus and avoids me like the plague. He is obviously moody. He also wouldn’t eat this morning, so I am off to the store to get them both some tuna…..they never turn that down.

 I think he is having his typical boy moodiness cause his girl is under the weather.  There’s a boy for you.

UPDATE: Americus ate some dry food tonight! YEA! This is the first time she has eaten in two days! Keep up the good thoughts, prayers and whatever other good vibes you want to send our way cause we appreciate it!

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Getting Up Early for Dummies

early

I thought I would make a list, since I have been so successful. (Not really) But it is the thought that counts, right? Actually, dear readers, you should be proud, as I have managed to get up early and work out for 4 days in a row so far. (Applause, please)

*DO NOT, under any circumstances, hit snooze on your alarm! If you spend too much time contemplating quitting your job, just so you can sleep in a few extra minutes, you might end up broke, homeless, and pillowless. Which would just be sad.

*DO jump out of bed and get moving right away, you may feel like crap for awhile, but it usually goes away. Usually.

*DO NOT take sleeping pills to help you sleep. Just don’t do it. You will not be able to get up.  ( I know from experience).

*DO lay your clothes out the night before, that way you can make sure you don’t leave the house wearing mismatched shoes or anything weird when you are eyes are still glued shut.

*DO NOT try and convince yourself you’re a morning person, you ARE NOT, don’t try and be happy about getting up. Just do it and then make as much noise as possible to annoy those that laugh at you.

*DO get a cat, like the (The Alarm Clock from Hell) so that in the event that you don’t get out of bed in time, you have a back-up plan….or a cat you want to kill.

*DO NOT attempt to be friendly in the morning. There is no point in exerting any additional energy cells that you are lacking due to your sleep deprivation.

*DO get some people to laugh at you and say you won’t be able to do it….sometimes reverse psychology helps motivate a person.

*DO NOT try and convince yourself that this is good–that you are teaching yourself discipline and routine. You are just lying to yourself and your body knows it. And it will get you back.

*DO try and go to bed early the night before. Not that it will make it THAT much easier to get up, but it helps…a little.

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Filed under Challenges, lazy, Life

Survival of the Wittiest….or something like that.

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The season finale version of America’s Next Top Blogger is brought to you by a fellow blogger, who just might be my twin sister. Well you know how they always say there is a twin out there of you….I think I found my writing twin….the brit, the american and the rest of australia 

the american would like to know about etiquette:

 

1.       If you bump into someone, say a colleague, and they say “hi, how was your weekend/how are you?” is it rude to just say “hi. fine.” and not ask how their weekend was? i do it all the time but feel like an asshole. but really i don’t care.

2.      If you sit across from someone who has hayfever and is sneezing all day, do you have say “Gezhundeit/bless you” every time or can you just say it once and leave it that without explaining yourself?

3.      If someone kind of smelly sits next to you on the bus/tram/train/waiting room (but they’re not homeless or anything. it’s just been a hot day and they’re wearing a suit), is it rude to get up and sit someplace else? i did that the other day and got the look of death. wha…?

4.      When we get cupcakes catered in for someone’s birthday the office, is it rude to skip the “happy birthday” speech in the beginning and just show up late, grab a cupcake and run back to you desk?

Whew, you definitely have some interesting questions. And I have some answers.

I will let you in on a little secret.

What I say and what I am thinking, especially at work, usually don’t coincide, but that is because I am surrounded by crazies, so I see it more like survival of the wittiest, only under my breath. I know, if ONLY I really could say what I was thinking all the time. But, alas, the world doesn’t work that way.

My advice:  answer these questions really, really honestly and people will stop asking you questions and just avoid you, which is the ultimate goal, right? So, I will now attempt to answer your questions

Sure, I may sound a little nuts, but who isn’t these days?

Here are the answers I would give to your questions:

1.      My weekend was horrible, I spent the whole weekend in the toilet and had explosive squirts. I think I might still have them. OOOOOO I just felt something gotta run, bye!  (See this way, you answered, and left just as quickly…)

2.      Well, being that I was just sick and attempting to spread my germs in mass destruction, I would instead say: Are you trying to get me sick? Why don’t you just go home? I am allergic to sick people. Then start scratching yourself and rubbing your eyes. If this doesn’t work, at least you can tell your boss about your “allergies” and go home anyways.

3.      I would most definitely move seats! Only I would say…sorry, I haven’t showered in days and I don’t think anyone should be subjected to my stench. Plus, I just ate a bean burrito from Taco Bell and it isn’t sitting so well…..

4.      My suggestion….go before anyone gets there…eat all the cupcakes and then show up and ask where they all are, but make sure to leave a little frosting on your lips!

So, that is my definition for etiquette. Do we share the same brain?

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Filed under America's Next Top Blogger, blogging, Challenges

Huh?

scooby

This topic of America’s Next Top Blogger is brought to you courtesy of Ram at http://foodhere.wordpress.com/ . He wanted a dialogue between Harland Sanders, Toller Cranston, and Scooby Do. Yea, this is definitely out of my comfort level, so bear with me people. I wasn’t even sure who Toller Cranston was….I knew the rest, well mostly Scooby! J

Setting the scene:

Scooby Do has just helped himself to Shaggy’s Special Brownies off the counter. He is now doggy dreaming on the couch.

Scooby (sleep talking as brownies dance in his head): MMMM me love brownies.

Harland Sanders (appearing out of nowhere in Scooby’s dream): Don’t you want some Kentucky Fried Chicken?

Scooby: MMMM chicken.

Harland Sanders: It is finger licken good! Scoob, I will trade you some chicken for some of your brownies…

Scooby: Ok.

Toller Cranston: Hey, I want some too!

Scooby: Who are you? Are you Brian Boitano? I loved that Southpark song.

Toller Cranston: I am not Brian Boitano! I don’t even look like him.

Scooby (singing): 

What would Brian Boitano do
If he was here right now,
He’d make a plan
And he’d follow through,
That’s what Brian Boitano’d do.

Shaggy (shaking Scooby hard): Scooby, want some chicken? I just got back from KFC! Hey! Did you eat all my brownies?

Scooby: Yea…and they gave me the weirdest dreams….Mmmm chicken.

 

 Well, Ram, hope this did it for you…as you can see, I don’t have much experience with the “magic brownies”

 

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Filed under America's Next Top Blogger, blogging, Challenges

An Experience to Remember

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Sorry, I know I am behind in these…but I was on furlough! 🙂 So, for those of you still left…I promise to catch up to you this week!

Today’s America’s Next Top Blogger is brought to you from a new reader, Thoughts From Under My Rock. I believe she and I might have quite a lot in common in our adventures at the grocery store. And with that being said, makes for very sad times.

Her topic was: Tell me about the biggest pet peeve you have regarding other people at the store (grocery, department, pharmacy, whatever), inside the store or out (or both), and then I’d like a very adjective and adverb-filled description of what you’d like to do to them for stirring up your fury… I wanna see if you and I think anything alike.

NOTE: As for adjective and adverb filled descriptions: This blog has censored them out…..sorry

Let me start out by stating two facts you need to know about me:

1.      I hate shopping (I know, shocking right?)

2.      I hate dumb people (if you recall, I emit the KRZY vibe, so these people ALWAYS find me.)

And for some reason, I seem to be plagued with both of these burdens, usually at the same time and usually at the grocery store. Why, oh why do the two things I dread most seem to go hand in hand? Never mind, don’t answer that. I’d rather not know.

So, here’s what happened:

Hubby and I were living in Connecticut at the time, while he attended graduate school at Yale. We got up early one Saturday morning to go to the grocery store. Mind you, this is a rare experience when in graduate school because we usually lived off of PB & J, however it must have been a payday week! J

Anyway, we have just finished off our grocery shopping experience, quite painlessly, I might add and I am off returning the cart, when the KRZY vibe strikes—paging everyone on the parking lot to come and get me.

I see a nice grocery cart boy pushing carts towards the entrance of the store, he was literally two feet from me. So, rather than push the cart to the cart collection area, I thought I would call him and just give him my cart to add to his pile.                

Me: Excuse me. Can I hand you my cart?

Cart Boy (clearly turns around and sees me, but pretends he is deaf or mute)

Me: Excuse me!?  (CENSORED ADJECTIVE)

Cart Boy (again turns around looks at me and again turns around as if I am invisible)

Me (now standing in the middle of the street, clearly astounded at Cart Boy’s rudeness while Hubby watches and laughs) (CENSORED ADVERB)

So, let me paint a picture for you, there I am standing in the middle of the road (with Hubby watching and laughing) astounded that Cart Boy would diss me like that…when a car rudely starts honking at me (ok, I will give you that one, I was standing in the street like a moron, but that is besides the point…)

The honking quickly brings me back to reality, I slowly wave and shrug my shoulders at the people in the car, like…I can’t believe this is happening, trying to point at (the now NOT NICE) cart boy.

When the lady in the car starts screaming, honking, and yelling at me, while her 10 year old in the front seat starts flicking me off with his middle finger. ARE.YOU.SERIOUS? (CENSORED ADJECTIVE AND ADVERB)

Hubby: LAUGHING SO LOUD

Me: I HATE CONNECTICUT AND ALL YOU RUDE PEOPLE! Did you see that, HUBBY? Can you believe all that just happened to me?  (CENSORED ADJECTIVE AND ADVERB)

Hubby: UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER

Me (clearly saddened at the state of mean people in this world): Why can’t people just be nice? It is SATURDAY for goodness sake! They don’t have any reason to be mean, they aren’t even at work! (CENSORED ADJECTIVE AND ADVERB)

And, that dear readers, is what happened to me and why KRZY vibes and Connecticut just don’t mix. EVER.

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Filed under America's Next Top Blogger, blogging, Challenges, Crazies