Category Archives: Irrational

Oscar the Grouch

oscar

It’s just been one of those weeks. Filled with stress and lack of sleep and now it has compounded where any little thing feels like it will set me off.

Like what? Well, let me start the list:

1. There is never anything “good” for dinner. We have no food and are poor. I hate grocery shopping and yea, sure Hubby tries to “find” stuff to make out of nothing in our fridge, but I am just tired of eating the same old frozen pizza dinners. So then Hubby gets mad at me because I don’t like anything he suggests. JERK.

2. My middle sister asks me if I am PMSing since I am being a “a jerk.” Whatever, maybe I am, but I don’t feel overtaken by the crazy, chocolate monsters yet…so maybe I am not. JERK

3. I decide to go to bed early, in the hopes that IF i get enough sleep I will wake up happier, excited to go to work (yea, right) and get more done. But, instead I am awoken in hour by the youngest sister who decides to have a loud silverware dropping food session in the kitchen at midnight. AWESOME. It not only sounds like World War III in the kitchen, but now all the pets are up whining and bothering me too. Guess I AM not sleeping tonight. JERK

4. Boston, my favorite cat, will not stop sneezing. And he will not stop sneezing in my face at night, so his sneezes get all over me. I think he has allergies. But, Hubby doesn’t want to take him to the vet because we just spent a small fortune on Americus there. But he is my baby, and if he gets sick I get freaked out. SAD

5. It is ONLY Thursday and this week is not over yet. It is the longest week EVER and I still have to go to a 3 hour meeting on Friday afternoon (when my I-care-level is at 0 and I had a 4.5 hour meeting this past Monday. What is it with meetings? DUMB

6. I just want to know what we are doing….i.e. jobs, living situations, and real life. I am tired of being stuck in limbo-land. P.S. I have the patience the size of a small paper clip. DUMB

7. I planned on drinking last night, to make me nicer, however I found out we have close to no booze…ok, we just don’t have what I want. Which is a whole bottle of red wine (to myself) or crown with coke (the best thing to drink when you have to shovel snow—not that we are experiencing any snow, but it is the shoveler’s drink of choice). DUMB

8. I forgot to make my lunch last night and I am out of Ramen at work. DUMB

 I think I need a vacation OR a really, really stiff drink.

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Filed under Irrational, Life

The Dirty Fighter

fights

LOUD NOISE of dog throwing up next to me in the computer room.

Me (shouting): NOT IT! HUBBY, NOT IT!

Hubby (angrily): That does NOT count!

Me (sweetly, if that is EVEN possible): Yes it does, I need to get in the shower and get ready for bed. (Remember I get up at 4:30, it doesn’t matter that it is only 8pm)

Hubby: It is still early; you have PLENTY of time to clean up the dog throw up.

Me: WHATEVER, you still owe me from when Americus was sick (thankfully she is better now—though we still don’t know what was wrong with her) because I cleaned up LOADS of vomit and poo.

Hubby(clearly exasperated): Uh huh. Well then fine, I will clean this up, but you have to sift the cat litter.

Me (whiney): Please, Hubby! Can’t you do it? I am heading into the shower right now…

10 minutes later

Hubby (NOW YELLING at his cute wifey): Are you STILL on that computer!? You cannot call not it and not even head to the shower!

Me (now yelling because Hubby is yelling): We are in a fight! I am going to write you a hate blog!

Me: Running to shower

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Filed under Husbands, Irrational, Uncategorized

Homeward Bound?

home

These conversations come up all the time. And I would just like to say, Hubby is NO fun!

Me: Can I stay home from work tomorrow?

Hubby: Yes

Me: Can I stay home from work everyday?

Hubby: No

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Filed under husband, Irrational

Texting is Killing my Marriage…

texting

Well, almost. I mean I do have a flair for the dramatic, just a little.

 I do admit that I have  a lot of crazy traits–obsessive deleting, inability to cook pasta, screaming NOT IT in the middle of conversations with the Hubby, deafness (only when I hear something I don’t want to do), and I suppose I am a bit quirky. BUT these are all things Hubby loves about me…right Hubby?

But, I just CAN’T.STOP.TEXTING. I admit it. I am obsessed.Rather than pick up the phone (EVER) I just text. Everyone, everwhere, all the time. This is where we get into the “ruining my marriage” part. The BILL. Not pretty people, not pretty AT ALL.

Me (trying to hide the Sprint bill, miserably failing)

Hubby: What have you got there?

Me: Hmmm you aren’t going to like it. My cell bill.

Hubby: How much did you go over THIS time? I mean you HAVE 1000 texts! I have 200 and I never go over!

Me (in true addict form): I know, but it isn’t enough, it is just NOT ENOUGH…really; I promise not to do it next time (all lies, mind you)

Hubby (sighing heavily): Do you have to text so much? Why don’t you just call people?

Me: Because I HATE talking to people. Texting is in and out… I don’t have to talk and if I am bored…I can just stop texting. You should blame my cousin for teaching me!

Hubby (exasperated): BUT, you always text back; it is like you ALWAYS have to have the last word!

Me (still in denial): They must have messed it up somewhere….right? I know…I know…..it is a serious problem! Do you think they have a Texter’s Anonymous?

Me (inspired by genius): I know! We should just pitch a “texting only” plan to the cell company….do you think they would go for it? That is what I need!

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Filed under couples, Irrational

Reasons I hate Mondays

monday

1.      I am so busy thinking of reasons to call in sick, I forgot my lunch.

2.      Can’t sleep in

3.      Time to go back to work and the people you can’t stand to see all week are in your face.

4.      There are 4 more days  before I can sleep in again

5.      Monday meetings….my brain is barely functioning

6.      Mondays equal the worst traffic days…it’s like everyone and their mother is on the road on purpose, going under the speed limit or braking every 2 seconds for nothing

7.      It is the longest day of the week….I swear I have already checked the time 10 times and I think it has barely moved 5 minutes

8.      Happy morning people…enough said

9.      Catching up on my email

10.  Working

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Filed under Irrational, work

Confessions of A (Bed) Side Stealer

Every morning when Hubby gets up to feed the obnoxious pets, I roll over and steal his side because it is warm and I like to spread out. This morning I thought I would be an amazing, nice, wonderful wifey and feed the pets for him, so he could stay in bed, even though it is a “boy’s” job to feed the pets. (Yea, so I have already failed my resolutions…I knew I would…that is why I said they are more like attempts).

So, I did it and what do I find when I come back to the bed? But, Hubby on MY SIDE! I try and push and shove him to no avail.

Hubby:  MMMM NO! This time I am STEALING your side!

Me: FINE! That is the last time I will be a nice wifey and feed the pets! (I then crawl back into bed on the wrong side)

Hubby then tries to snuggle.

Me: Don’t touch me!

Hubby: I love you.

Me: I hate you, you sides stealer!

Hubby: So this is love!

bed

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Filed under humor couples, Husbands, Irrational