Category Archives: Life

A sister’s lesson

Rae, The Hostage, and I were watching a movie; when Rae and I decided that we were hungry.

Rae (to the Hostage): MAKE US DINNER.

Me (copying her): Make us dinner….

Hostage: NO! After the movie

we continued this pattern for about 5 minutes. For the purpose of this blog, I won’t repeat it for 5 minutes, but I wanted you to get a feel for how annoying us sisters’ can be….

Me (matter of factly): Rae, you don’t have a good grip on controlling this hostage. If he won’t do what we say, we are going to have to get a new slave. Learn how to control him or he won’t ever be useful!

Rae: Yea, I know…he doesn’t do what I say.

Me: Not a good sign, if the Hostage revolts.

Rae (more directly to the Hostage): Make me cookies NOW!

The Hostage: NO! I don’t want to.

I think the Hostage is going to have to be beaten…..

To Be Continued….

slave-chain

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Filed under lazy, Life

Americus: an Update

Americus woke me up this morning to eat. I have NEVER been so happy for a wake up call from her!

So far, she has eaten a little wet food and a very tiny amount of dry food last night. Things are looking up.

Thanks for all your well wishes, out there. It means a lot—to all of us! ūüôā

cat_love1

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A Typical Male

kitty-mer-012

So yesterday, after I brought Americus home from the vet, Boston (her boyfriend with benefits) was a little moody. These two cats love each other so much, so I totally “get” what he is going through. Below are their actions, yet I am also¬†incorporating the dialogue that I think went with it:

I let Americus out of her crate, Boston starts sniffing her and licking her. He obviously knows she is under the weather.

Boston (voice like Tony from the sopranos): Where you been, bizzo?

Americus (feeble-like): I have been sick. I don’t know what is going on.

Boston (voice like Tony from the sopranos): You smell like ass, let me clean you up.

Americus (feeble-like): Thanks.

They both than retreat to our bedroom closet where they decide to curl up next to each other.

Boston (voice like Tony from the sopranos): I love you, you better get better soon.

Americus (feeble-like): Yea, I am trying, but I feel like crap. Awww…you NEED me….

Boston (voice like Tony from the sopranos):  yea, whatever.

Later on, Americus moves to another room, Boston follows. Again sniffing and licking her.

Boston (voice like Tony from the sopranos): You know you should eat something! 

Americus (feeble-like):¬† I don’t know what that crap that mom got me is. I am so not eating it, it is SO NASTY!

Boston (voice like Tony from the sopranos): I KNOW! She tried to see if me and Patches would take a bite! We both denied her, that stuff is CRAP. What a waste of money!

As I enter the room, Boston gets up and walks away from me. Hisses at Americus and avoids me like the plague. He is obviously¬†moody. He also wouldn’t¬†eat this morning, so I am off to the store to get them both some tuna…..they never turn that down.

¬†I think he is having his typical boy moodiness cause his¬†girl is under the weather.¬†¬†There’s¬†a boy for you.

UPDATE: Americus ate some dry food tonight! YEA! This is the first time she has eaten in two days! Keep up the good thoughts, prayers and whatever other good vibes you want to send our way cause we appreciate it!

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Filed under Challenges, Life

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Morning

bad-day

I am having the WORST morning that ever existed. Truly. Also part of last night. Let’s start from the top.

Strike 1

Upon arriving home last night from drinking, I was too tired to eat what the Hostage had prepared (I had already eaten, anyways, but that doesn’t matter). I immediately decided I would go to bed SINCE I had been at work for 12. 5 hours (doesn’t matter if I didn’t work the whole time) AND had been up since 3:30 (ungodly). So, there I am, starting to count sheep drifting off to lullaby land when our house phone starts ringing, jolting me out of my bliss. NOT.PRETTY.

It was Hubby, but for some reason the phones weren’t working or something (I have no idea) so he literally called the house about 5 times, everytime, I was nearly asleep. I.wanted.to.kill.him.

Strike 2

I wake up from nightmares at 1am. Not going into detail here because my sister will try and analyze them and they were just NOT.PRETTY. Don’t know why this happened, they were more like comedic, twisted nightmares—all the detail I care to share right now as they still scare me. Really hard to fall back asleep.

Strike 3

!&###! The alarm clock goes of at 3:30AM because I forgot to turn it off yesterday, thus again waking my peaceful sleep. !&###! Not Pretty.

Strike 4

I can’t find Americus, the evil alarm clock cat. Did I see her this morning when I fed her? I can’t even remember. I fed the pets, that part I remember, but that is about it. Feedings in the morning are done in a zombie-like daze. Panic sets in. Did I leave her outside (they get supervised outside time)? Did I shut her in somewhere (I have a tendency to shut her in closets…not on purpose)? Is she in with Rae?

I then spend 27 minutes looking for her, making me late for my workout routine. Still can’t find her. Need to leave. UGH.

Strike 5

The Hostage and Rae have made dishes (from last night) as high as the sky AND left their messes everywhere. This throws me into a crazy, psycho clean freak mode. I can’t deal with messes. All I am saying is, make as many messes as you want, but clean them up, please. I am sure they will clean it up today, but that made the bad witch come out this morning.

Strike 6

I didn’t get to take a shower, so I stink.¬†I was too lazy to take one last night and I assumed I would take one at work, but now I just don’t care. But, my feet are black. Gross.

Strike 7 

The stupid hair straightner that I was going to attempt to use, IF I had taken a shower this morning (cleanliness is overrated), is broken. I thought it was just the outlets, but after plugging it into like 10 outlets around the house, I determined it is broken. Yea, I AM that slow in the mornings.

Strike 8

I am forfeitting my morning workout (gasp) in order to write this blog and because I was late getting to work AND because I fear with the way this morning is going, I will probably just end up breaking something…which might not be a bad thing? This is the first day I have missed in 2 weeks. I feel guilty.

Strike 9

I banged my knee hard on my desk this morning. Please don’t ask me how, I am known for my klutziness. I think my desk bit me, actually.

Strike 10

Hasn’t happened yet, but if it does….I am packing everything up and going home.

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This is not going to be pretty…

grumpy1

In order for Hubby to make his plane tomorrow, I have to get up at 3:30AM. He is going to OWE me big time after this one. As if, getting up at 4:30AM is not ungodly enough. Tomorrow is going to be my grumpiest day EVER….that is until I get my Guiness. Stay away, I warn you….just stay away.

THIS is not going to be pretty.

I think I should make him walk to the airport; what do you think?

NOT IT!

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Filed under Life, Love

Tiger Lily

Tiger, the Tree Weed, has had a baby. I thought he was a boy, but apparently, I was wrong. He is a SHE, and she has multiplied.

We have named this baby: Tiger Lily.

Here she is, she will soon be as big as her Momma…I fear.

weeds-007

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Let me out….

weekends

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Filed under Life