Category Archives: marriage

Love is Patient…

imagesmarriage2

Over the weekend, I was procrastinating. This entailed moving at a snail-like pace….barely getting ready to go out. Hubby wanted to take my car in because it has been acting funny.

Me (playing at the computer, caught in the act)

Hubby (meanly): WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GET DONE. I don’t want to wait in long lines to get your car done!

Me(surprised he caught me): I am just taking a quick break, you were in my way!

Me: Clearly we need a break from each other! I can’t wait for you to leave this week!

Hubby: Me Too! How does leaving tomorrow for two weeks sound?

Me: That is just not soon enough!

And that is how much we love each other….ha ha

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Filed under Life, marriage

MANswers

joyoftech3532

 

1. What is the object of your blog!!!!….

 

Answer:  I have no clue.  I have thought about talking about the wifey’s bad habits, since mine seem to come as great humor to so many, but the fact of the matter is that I have done nothing about it.  We had some idle conversation at lunch one day and then the next thing I know there is a post and an outcry for me to start writing.  Since I don’t blog, I have put it on the back shelf, instead concentrating more on finding a job.  Anticipating the wifey’s response, there are plenty of times where I have sat around and watched TV, so the time is there I just have not done it

 

2. “How about, for Father’s Day, your amazing (genuis, cute, etc.) wifey does two days of ‘it’ duty? She’s a good sport, and she loves you, and you love her, which means you have make her some beer-basted ribs for Mothers Day . . . or have Jersey Mike’s catered.”

 

Answer:  That would not work because the “amazing wifey” would take May as an entire “Not it” month.  When it comes to birthdays I have my one day and she explains that during the entire month of her birthday I have to be nice because it is her birthday month.  Come to think of it, she does the same thing for her unbirthday month.  I’m screwed.

 

3. Q: how does it feel to have the perfect wife and how do you fend off the hordes of men trying to steal her away?

 

Answer:  As for the perfect wife I could get carpel tunnel disputing this statement, but she makes me happy, so I guess I will keep her around for a while.  The hordes of men are not an issue. Because when we where living in Texas (in our mid twenties), there was a middle school across the street.  I was not too concerned when she was outside getting the mail and got asked if she was going to attend the MIDDLE school dance or not.

 

4. I am curious about what your husband thinks of your blog?

 

Answer:  First off: Hi Lori and I had fun hanging out with Aaron.  P.S. if he gets out of line, throw a package of beer nuts at him, it will get his attention.    I am fine with her blog because at least, so far nothing too damaging has been posted.  As long as things stay in good taste I am fine.  Sometimes she spends a little too much time at the computer blogging for her readers, but she is happy doing it.

 

5. Just what makes you think you can step into these remarkable blogging shoes? What are your strengths and weaknesses?

 

Answer:  I don’t think I can step into her blogging shoes plain and simple.  As for my strength I love wifey, but somehow that also serves as my weakness.

 

6. What was the last nice thing you did for wifey?

 

Answer:  When I returned home yesterday from one of my interviews I brought her a gift.  It is a magnet that says “This house is owned & operated solely for the comfort & convenience of the CAT!”  I felt it was fitting.

 

7. What was your reaction the first time you saw your lovely wife febreeze her feet?

 

Answer:   did not actually see her febreeze her feet.  She stuck them in my face afterwards and all I can say is that febreeze needs to make a stronger product.

 

8. If you were going to be stranded on a deserted island and you could only take 3 items with you…what would they be and why?

 

Answer:  What is this some kind of psych exam?  First would be wifey for extra curricular activities.  ( I mean what kind of question is this? I mean this is her blog and I can’t come out and say I want to take Jessica Alba).  Second, a large case of Makers Mark because why the hell not.  Last A FRIGIN BOAT SO I CAN GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE. 

 

9. Mr. Hubby, what do you do to compensate for the greatness of your wifey? Do you become the best at something else [outside of the home of course, so as not to overshadow wifey] or have you simply learned to live with it?

 

Answer: Not sure if you are being sarcastic about outside the home.  If you mean at home you have missed a few blogs about why the wifey married me and her lack of well placed cooking skills.  Someone actually bought her a book on how to cook everything.  She might have looked up boiling an egg and for how long, but that is it.  As for not overshadowing her outside the house I just stay back about ten feet to accommodate the ego that all of her loyal readers have given her.  THANKS!

 

10. What made you fall in love with your lovely wife?

 

Answer:  I love her sarcastic nature and many other qualities.  We are a great match, and I don’t know how anyone could not love her because as she put it she is the most perfect wifey ever.

 

11. What is the greatest thing your wife could give you as a present….that didn’t require money or sex to acquire?

Answer: This was a hard one, since everything I thought of was sex or money. BUT, the best thing would be for me to come home one day, and for Wifey to have cooked me a nice four course dinner. (But we all know this would never happen)

manswers1

Brought to you courtesy of the Great and Powerful Hubby

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Ask Hubby

pefect-man

Hubby has been tinkering away at his so called first blog, but he can’t seem to make up his mind on a topic. Like there are a lack of things to talk about? I can think of a multitude of topics, especially talking about his amazing, loving, genius and cute wifey. So, it is your turn readers…..I am going to turn over the reigns to Hubby…but just for one blog (we all know he won’t be as popular as me), since he does seem to want to share some of his side of the story.

I have decided he should get inspired, by you dear readers! So ask away, and I will make him answer each and every one of your amazing questions….you know (i.e. how amazing is your wife? How do you live in her shadow? She seems like the perfect wife, how did you find her?) Hopefully this will probe his little brain and make him reflect on how really lucky he is to have me….

Right Hubby? Cause I am pretty perfect!

perfectwife1

So, don’t disappoint me readers, I feel the need to be entertained….fire away!

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Not Sorry!

shorts

Dear Mr Crabby Pants (AKA Hubby),

I am not saying  sorry. You are being a crabby, old grouch today. I have nothing to apologize for. YOU are the one that is being short tempered and PMSY. Not me. (I am not even on the rag. Anymore.) Until you can behave yourself and be nice, I will just stay out of your way. Maybe you should take a nap or sit in the corner by yourself til you can be nice! So, eat my shorts.

P.S. Despite your ill mannered behavior, I am still more than happy to get rid of you drive you to the airport.

Signed,

Your loving, cutest, and nicest wife you will EVER have who IS NOT saying sorry.

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Marriage Secrets Revealed

shh

 

Secret #1

Maybe that missing tee shirt you were looking for didn’t really get eaten by the dryer, but maybe I threw it out cause it is ugly. Maybe.

Secret #2
I know that you eat all my chocolate stashed in the house and then ask who ate all the krackel bars? They did not get lost and Rae didn’t eat them all! I won’t believe it.

Secret #3

I always know where your keys, knife, belt, tee shirt, shoes or any other miscellaneous object is. I just like to watch you run around like a crazy person looking for something.

Secret #4

When I say, “I don’t care”, sometimes I don’t care. Sometime I do. Listen for the tone. You should be able to figure out my tone by now.

Secret #5

I don’t really care if you go out with your friends to drink or hang out. I really DO want you to get out of the house. Please. Why? Because I need some alone time and you always come back realizing how amazing I am compared to your friends wives or significant others! Cause I AM AMAZING.

Secret #6

I LOVE when you go out of town. Really. I do. I can then watch whatever I want on TV. I am in charge of the remote and I can sit in bed all day and do nothing. I can play Guitar Hero for hours on end and don’t have to share it with you AND I can pee with the bathroom door open, since you are not there to be weirded out. Basically, I can do everything you won’t let me do when you are here.

Secret #7

I am not really still sleeping when I hit you, poke you, or steal your pillows. I am trying to reclaim my area of the bed or get you to move over and stop crowding me. Or get you to stop snoring. Or get you to stop breathing in my face. Or get you to turn over, so I can steal more room on our too small bed.

Secret #8

Sometimes I tell you there is free food at work, so I don’t have to eat my lunch and I can just go to Jersey Mike’s instead. Especially when you pack me a PB & J sandwich. No one likes that many PB & J sandwiches. No one.

Secret #9

I know when it comes to putting away laundry you claim to “not know” where any of my clothes go, so you don’t have to put them away or fold them. I know this because you pretend I am some kind of organized freak even though it is YOU who tries to color code your tee shirts. Oh yea, I have noticed. This makes me crazy. I hate putting away laundry and that is why I pretend we have run out of hangers sometimes, so I can just pile your clothes somewhere for you to deal with. Sometimes.

 Secret #10

Your missing swimsuit edition of Maxim or Sports Illustrated? Oh yea, I don’t know. Where did it go? I mean, it might have “accidentally” fallen into the trash can. You didn’t read it? Oh no!

Secret #11

Sometimes I encourage and give the cat your flip flops to bite, since you leave them out all the time. Is it that hard to put your shoes away? And when you see the bite marks you think she has been eating your shoes again, little do you know that it is me who cheers her on in her destruction.

Secret #12

Sometimes I call or text our Mothers to talk about you. Especially when you are being a brat. Usually they both can convince me to stay married to you. You have no idea how much you owe our Mothers. No idea.

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Hubby’s Weird Obsession

broken-plate

Hubby has the weirdest obsession with plate sets and dishes. When we were registering, after we got engaged, Hubby literally had to drag me kicking and screaming to register for things. I just didn’t care. I don’t know why. I really couldn’t care less what our dishes looked like or how many place settings we had. But, Hubby cared. Boy, did he care. So, it was a big DEAL a few days ago when he accidentally broke one of our everyday plates from our set.

Me: Hubby, it’s no big deal. We can buy another plate!

Hubby: NO, it IS a big deal. We had place settings for 8; now we can only serve 7.

Me ( I know the world is coming to an end right): Hubby, I am sure you can find another plate. Or we can just buy another different kind of plate.

Hubby(clearly obsessed and running to the computer to search): I CANNOT believe I dropped that plate! Damn you ebay…..I can’t find that exact model.

He is still searching as I type. He is obsessed. Weirdo.

I guess now is not a good time to try and re-broach selling our China we got. This is how the  arguement usually goes:

Me: Hubby, let’s sell our China.

Hubby: No! We might use it someday!

ME: WE NEVER USE IT. And maybe we can make some money off of it. IT ISN’T even passed down…it is just something from the store!

Hubby: SOMEDAY we are going to use it!

Me: OMG we have been married FOREVER and we haven’t even taken it out of the boxes. It is STILL in your parents’ garage from when it was delivered!

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Why Hubbys’ Need Rules

It's amazing how I can always find the perfect google pic!

It's amazing how I can always find the perfect google pic!

Another long day at work done. WOO HOO.

As you can tell, after a long day at work…my genius brain is practically all used up. So in order to keep the spark alive, I try and woo Hubby, but alas it doesn’t work.

Me: Wanna smell my feet?

Hubby: No. Not really.

Me: The shoes I wore today really make them smell. In fact (as I lift my feet to my nose and grimace) they REALLY smell. Smell them!

Hubby: No

Me: Don’t you love me? It is part of your job, as a HUBBY, to do things that your wifey says, even if you don’t like them.

Hubby: No it isn’t.

Me: Yea it is! It is in the I-got-married-and-now-what rulebook. It defines the rules that Husbands have to perform in order to keep their cute wifeys!

Hubby: What about the rulebook for wifeys?

Me: There isn’t one. Wifey’s are perfect JUST.THE.WAY.THEY.ARE.

UPDATE: I succeeded in shoving my feet in Hubby’s face. He looked like he might vomit.

Hubby: Those feet smell HORRIBLE. GEEZ

Me: I even febreezed them!

Hubby: You febreezed your feet?

Me: Yea

Hubby: Are you sure you didn’t miss?

Ain’t love grand?

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