Category Archives: Weird Info about me

DVR Madness

menu

Me: OH NO! I NEED to delete something…the DVR has only 54 hours left of recording time.

Hubby: That is more than enough time!

Me: No it isn’t! You know how I like to keep our “available air time” at 60 hours.

Hubby: You are crazy.

Me (trance-like): I need to delete. Can I delete this show?

Hubby: NO!

Me: I need to delete. You don’t ever watch any of these shows in here! Can I delete this show?

Hubby: NO!

Me: You are crimping my DVR style.

Hubby: Right….

(Totally going to delete something when he isn’t looking…)

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Filed under Blog Friends, Delusions of a Husband, Weird Info about me

Google and My Popular Blog

google4

So, I have now been at this blogging thing for awhile now, long enough to consider myself knowledgeable–not yet genius level. Yet. Recently, I have noticed that I get a lot of traffic from being googled. That doesn’t bother me, but the things people type in order to find me are strange to say the least.  Very strange, does this reflect upon me? You know, like I can Google CRAZY and my name pops up? That is just amazing.

Here are some of them from yesterday. Do you get weird Google searches too, or is it just me? I know, I am weird and all, but that’s why you love me, right? And my amazing sense of humor.  

My thoughts are in italics.

Fail I do like to talk about failing.

home early morningEarly morning? I don’t do mornings.

fail?Yea, I get it, I am a failure.

your my favorite crazy ass bitchHubby, did you search for me this way?

birthday failwhat is with all the failure, people?

husband & wife cartoonI am all about cartoons. LOVE EM.

broken wedding ringsIs this symbolic of Hubby and me? Are we broken? I see it more like unique.

money tree—I wish someone would find one for me.

stress reduction kit—stress, what is that?

Strange Husband—Yup, I agree.

pics of grown-ups bebies—Huh? Not the B word….

tee ten gee—WTF?

shamwow guy—Thanks, Lori. I know who he is now!

sisters figting—My crazy sisters…yup

Push—hmmm, like shove? I do push people….

funny looking marriage pics—Well, Hubby is a little funny looking.

narnia stone knife—Huh? I am lost here. I don’t think I have ever blogged about Narnia or knifing someone. Yet.

getting up early—Again, the bane of my existence

17th black mourning dress—Black is my favorite color. Black equals death.

fail pictures—I get it, really I do. Everyone finds me through the word FAIL.

bed hog fix—Yup, that is my dog and Hubby.

is elmira ny a good place to leave—Elmira is my town. MMMM Pudgies.

Where do babies come from—Hacim still doesn’t know

no bills wanted—Can this be my motto when getting the mail?

Crazy people are eating me—DUDE, stay away….

 

 

 

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Filed under blogging, Weird Info about me

Wii Alters

mario-kart

I must say Hubby is bad luck and brings out the worst in me.

This weekend we got Mario Kart. I am a bit of a crazy driver, but I am practicing and getting better. Watching me navigate the wheel is probably a bit like being in a New York City taxi cab at rush hour (you can’t understand a word of what I am saying, and are in fear for your life). A bit scary, and a bit thrilling, all at once. 

I feel like the wheel has a mind of its own and when my NYC taxi driver alter comes out…..watch out. Or maybe I am just that retarded. (Don’t comment)

Anyways, this morning I was practicing my driving skills and I was getting 1st and 2nd place for the most part. WHOA. I am amazing and feeling pretty good about myself. Then in walks Hubby asking me how I am doing and if I am getting any better.

And in that very instant, I fell to 12th place and my crazy alter “The NYC taxi driver” returns and I crash and swear every two seconds.

Me: Well, I WAS getting better. Til you came in here and jinxed me. Out. I say, Out.

That Bad Luck Hubby of mine had better stay on his side of the house!

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Filed under Weird Info about me, Wii

Affairs of the Heart

Confession Time:

I am in love with someone else. I can’t live without him. I cheat on Hubby weekly. I am always having to go back for more. I am never satisfied. It is like an unquencheable, crazy, uncontrollable, love fest. I think I might be addicted. But, I can’t stop. I will do anything for him. ANY.THING.

I am undeniably, uncontrollably in love. IN LOVE.

With Jersey Mike’s.

I can’t stop thinking about it. I want it ALL.THE.TIME.

I just had it yesterday, and I already want it again…it is beckoning me and I cannot control the urge.

love-fest

What do you think? Should I tell Hubby about my affairs of the heart?

6 Comments

Filed under Food, Weird Info about me

Have you ever…

 watching_you

I have a tendency to people watch and make up elaborate stories about them. I don’t know why I do this, but I have done this since I was a child. I think it is due to my creative imagination.

Today, at lunch, I went out to people watch. I sat on the bench and watched as all sorts of people went past, as I sipped on my Starbucks. Here is are my observations:

1. One guy sitting on the bench chowing down on some Cold Stone Creamery Ice cream in a bowl.

Observation: I think he is a secret super spy. He is trying to act all casual, looking like a business person just enjoying his ice cream, but I see into his little ploy. He has this weird earpiece in his ear. That is because he is a top secret agent waiting for the “GO” to jump off the bench and catch the Boy that just walked past. See Boy for more details.

2. Two Students with shopping bags, in a seemingly in-depth conversation.

Observation: The two students are fighting over a boy. They are trying to reconcile their friendship through shopping, but really the girl on the left is plotting the girl on the right’s demise, she is going to poison her food once they get home.

3. The Boy who is wearing a green “I have no motivation” shirt and carrying his orange gatorade bottle.

Observation: The Boy is secretly an undercover computer whiz, who is being employed by a major drug dealer. He is pretending to look like a student who doesn’t care because he knows people are after him and if he wants to continue receiving his mass quanities of money from the drug lord, he needs to stay undercover. Little does he know the secret super spy is closing in….

4. 3 guys in business suits sitting on a bench. As the 4th guy takes their picture.

Observation: These guys are old friends and are in town for a highschool reunion. They have been out of touch for a really long time because guy #2 stole guy #4’s girl back in the day and they are finally getting past their differences to reconnect.

5. 5 pigeons swarming this weird lady on a bench (who is talking to herself)

Observation: The 5 pigeons are plotting to poop on the lady…because she won’t share her sandwich with them. She has no idea that she is about to be attacked.

6. A nerd type guy meeting a girl in Starbucks, however the guy has a wedding ring on the girl does not. The girl has a drink ready for the guy. Which he greatfully swigs down. The girl is big and preggo.

Observation: Starbucks is their secret rendevous spot, where these two lovers meet. The nerd guy is married, but having a sordid affair with the preggo girl. The preggo girl is really preggo by the nerd guys friend, but married nerd guy thinks she loves him and is about to divorce his wife. Little does he know that his wife is undercover at Starbucks watching this and will poison married nerd guy tonight.

And that, my friends, is today’s version of lunchtime entertainment. Hope I never spot one of you out there……

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Getting Up Early Delusions

sleep

So, in order to make our money go further, I have decided I should give up parking at work and find parking elsewhere. However, this requires getting up early, and as we all should know by this point, I am not a morning person, but usually when I set my mind to something ….I can accomplish it. So, here’s what happened.

On our car trip home this weekend:

Me: I am totally getting up early tomorrow to get a good spot at work and workout!

Hubby: Uh huh, sure.

Me: WHAT! I can get up early!

Hubby: How early?

Me: Ummm I think an hour earlier than I usually do, so 4:30 maybe.

Hubby: HAAAA HAAA HAAA THAT will never happen.

Me: Rude! I can totally do it to save us money.

Fastforward to yesterday morning 5:45am…

Didn’t make that 4:30 wake up call yet…..I think I will try for tomorrow….maybe.

I can do this, right?

8 Comments

Filed under Weird Info about me, work

Lysol the Germs Away…

Right now, I want to marry Hubby again.

He has cleaned the house, while I wallowed in my dirty blankets with my stuffy nose watching the worst movie ever, Private Valentine…don’t ask. I love Jessica Simpson, but that movie was horrible. At least it made me forget my germs for a bit.

So, lo and behold Hubby shows me the bedroom, which he has cleaned for hours…no more does the smell of snotty tissues, dog barf (the dog barfed yesterday in our room…luckily, due to my sickness, NOT IT rules did NOT apply) and the bathroom sink is CLEAN. YAY! I am so happy.

However, this made me think of a very funny memory. One of my first times visiting Hubby’s hometown in Texas, I got really sick with some kind of cold/flu thing. So, Hubby’s Mom took care of me. And I was grateful. But, here is my memory. She cleaned the entire room I was staying in from top to bottom, changed all the sheets and then just as I was getting ready to get into my new, clean sick nest…..she sprayed everything….including my pillows with Lysol! And I don’t mean a little bit of Lysol. BUT, I mean drenched everything in Lysol. It was horrible…the smell….ugh. And now Lysol scares me. It really does.

To this day, when I get sick, Hubby says if I don’t behave he is going to spray me with Lysol. And THAT is enough to make realize how lucky I am when Hubby makes me a nice, clean sick area….Lysol Free!

P.S. I guess I will stop writing mean things about him for now…

lysol

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Filed under fears, sick, Weird Info about me