Tag Archives: alarm clocks

Getting Up Early for Dummies

early

I thought I would make a list, since I have been so successful. (Not really) But it is the thought that counts, right? Actually, dear readers, you should be proud, as I have managed to get up early and work out for 4 days in a row so far. (Applause, please)

*DO NOT, under any circumstances, hit snooze on your alarm! If you spend too much time contemplating quitting your job, just so you can sleep in a few extra minutes, you might end up broke, homeless, and pillowless. Which would just be sad.

*DO jump out of bed and get moving right away, you may feel like crap for awhile, but it usually goes away. Usually.

*DO NOT take sleeping pills to help you sleep. Just don’t do it. You will not be able to get up.  ( I know from experience).

*DO lay your clothes out the night before, that way you can make sure you don’t leave the house wearing mismatched shoes or anything weird when you are eyes are still glued shut.

*DO NOT try and convince yourself you’re a morning person, you ARE NOT, don’t try and be happy about getting up. Just do it and then make as much noise as possible to annoy those that laugh at you.

*DO get a cat, like the (The Alarm Clock from Hell) so that in the event that you don’t get out of bed in time, you have a back-up plan….or a cat you want to kill.

*DO NOT attempt to be friendly in the morning. There is no point in exerting any additional energy cells that you are lacking due to your sleep deprivation.

*DO get some people to laugh at you and say you won’t be able to do it….sometimes reverse psychology helps motivate a person.

*DO NOT try and convince yourself that this is good–that you are teaching yourself discipline and routine. You are just lying to yourself and your body knows it. And it will get you back.

*DO try and go to bed early the night before. Not that it will make it THAT much easier to get up, but it helps…a little.

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Filed under Challenges, lazy, Life

The Alarm Clock from Hell: Round 2

It is dark, very dark. Not time to be awake yet, and what do I hear? MEOW, MEOW, MEOW, MEOW!

And then, as if the first serenade wasn’t enough……pawing at the blinds, not quietly, but basically playing dominos with them….and right over my head! I am going to kill her; no one can stop me this time! All rationalization has flown the coop. Don’t move! I think to myself….as long as I show no signs of life….she will move on and go terrorize someone else. Don’t move!

I know that dratted alarm clock hasn’t gone off yet….her only saving grace is that it is Friday, otherwise I would feed her to the dog. Really, I am not a violent person….

Me: 0 points

Americus: 10 points

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The Alarm Clock from Hell

Ok, so here is the deal. I am not a morning person. The thought of getting up when it is still dark outside, is repulsive and just wrong. I would rather stay burrowed in my covers til mid afternoon if that was possible. So you can imagine how unforgiving I can be when the alarm clock goes off. NOT A PRETTY PICTURE! Now, the hubby can get up just fine, however he will hit the snooze button so many times that I will basically want to kill him. I don’t know what I have against the snooze button, but all I can say is that I am irrational in the morning, so there is no point in trying to understand it.

Lately, it is not the snooze button that is making me crazy, but our demon possessed cat, Americus. I believe she thinks she is THE NEWEST ALARM CLOCK on the market. She will begin her meowing, and I don’t mean meowing, I mean MEOWING at about 15 minutes before the alarm even makes a peep and will not stop until one of us gets out of bed to feed the demon. I don’t know what her deal is, is she meticulously trying to kill me in a slow, painful death? Or is this just her revenge because I like to squeeze her like Elmira from Tiny Toons? I really can’t help it, and I always thought she liked it….but they always say revenge comes in the simplest forms and if this is her revenge, then it is ON, baby!

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Filed under Pets