Tag Archives: boyfriends

A Rating of the Hostage

stars

The Hostage survived his torture last week.

I cannot give him 4 stars because he was being insubordinate. EVIL HOSTAGE. So, with that being said, I give him a 3 out of 4 stars.

(For those of you that need an explanation; the hostage is my baby sister’s Boy and we took him as a hostage while the Hubby was out of town so we could eat something besides cereal.)

His food was great, he kept up on conversations and he even did some dishes.

I like this.

I think I will keep him, except I am going to glue his mouth shut. FOREVER. He has no right to talkback because it is his JOB to serve us.

I did tell him though, thanks to you faithful readers, that I think we might have a new business on our hands. I even told him I would go 70/30 with him. It could be called RENT A HOSTAGE. I am FULL of great ideas!

Conversation with the Hostage:

Me (a bit too excitedly): I will do all the marketing, writing, and web design (cause I am amazing like that) and all you have to do is all the work, i.e. cooking, cleaning. Not too bad, right?

Hostage (skeptical): Is that right?

Me: Yea, I mean, it would be awesome. You’d have a lot of work, make some money and I will manage you cause I am the brains behind this business. (I mean that is why I got my MBA, right? Totally genius material here)

Hostage: Yea, I just don’t think it would work.

I think I am on to something here….anyone want to be my financial backer?

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Filed under I am a genius

Fighting 101

boyfriends

3 Comments

Filed under humor

Why I love Hubby

boyfriends1

I recently got tagged for this WHY I Love Hubby award.

 I had the following thought process:

1. Who says I love Hubby?

2. Write another Love Blog to Hubby? EWWW I prefer Hate Blogs.

3. Should I allow his head to get ANY bigger–he is starting to not be able to fit through the doors because of his I-am-awesome-complex? Well, I guess he is away this week, so maybe it is ok.

So, in the spirit of the award, which was given to me by an amazingly, funny lady,  Crone and Bear It, I decided to do it… so here goes:

I love Hubby because of conversations like these, he just gets  me, you know. And he has a dazzling sense of humor with a dose of sarcasm, you need that to survive my amazingness. Yea. I AM just simply amazing, right Hubby? Oh wait, was this supposed to be about you?

I survived the early wake up time a few days ago to drive him to the airport. Barely. That is why I am amazing. I mean WHO gets up at 3:30AM to drive their Hubby to the airport? Usually, not me……however, I guess maybe I DO love him on occasion.

For instance, that morning he was so cute and that’s why I love him.

Hubby: Want me to make the bed and fluff your pillows, so the bed is comfy for you tonight?

Me: Nah, just leave it. I am going to change the sheets anyways.

Hubby: Why? For all your boyfriends that will sleep over while I am gone?

Me: Yup, gotta have clean sheets; I’m weird like that!

and

Hubby: Do you love me?

Me: No

Hubby: But I love you!

Me: Your loss….

 And I am passing on the award to:

My crazy sister: Middlechildadvice\’s Blog

My twin: the brit, the american and the rest of australia

My alter ego: Thoughts From Under My Rock

My friend: I Can Grow People

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Filed under Love, marriage

A sister’s lesson

Rae, The Hostage, and I were watching a movie; when Rae and I decided that we were hungry.

Rae (to the Hostage): MAKE US DINNER.

Me (copying her): Make us dinner….

Hostage: NO! After the movie

we continued this pattern for about 5 minutes. For the purpose of this blog, I won’t repeat it for 5 minutes, but I wanted you to get a feel for how annoying us sisters’ can be….

Me (matter of factly): Rae, you don’t have a good grip on controlling this hostage. If he won’t do what we say, we are going to have to get a new slave. Learn how to control him or he won’t ever be useful!

Rae: Yea, I know…he doesn’t do what I say.

Me: Not a good sign, if the Hostage revolts.

Rae (more directly to the Hostage): Make me cookies NOW!

The Hostage: NO! I don’t want to.

I think the Hostage is going to have to be beaten…..

To Be Continued….

slave-chain

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Filed under lazy, Life

The Hostage: Update

hostage1

Update: The Hostage is in the kitchen cooking dinner. Too bad I am WAY too tired to eat it. But I will let you know how the rest of the week goes. He is already trying to revolt because I tried to pinch him….ok, well I just thought about pinching him, it required too much effort to walk into the kitchen to actually do it….eh.

At least he is doing his job, get in the kitchen HOSTAGE or I will kick you.

I had my Guinness. Time to sleep.

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Filed under Food, humor

The Hostage

hostage

Hubby will be away all week at a conference and I am taking a prisoner hostage.

Side Note: a little sadness, but I get the bed to myself. Just not sure who to torment yet…maybe Rae.

So, I told Rae we are hijacking her Boy to come cook for us all week. I told him under no certain terms that I don’t feel like eating cereal for the whole week, so we need someone to come and take care of us! Me and Rae WOULD REALLY eat cereal all week–chocolate chex to be exact.

The Boy better be scared, we want a home-made dinner on the table everynight! Hubby does not envy the Boy at all and told me I better not torment him since he has quasi-agreed to come over and make us dinners.

Poor Boy, stuck with the two non-cooking, lazy sisters…poor, poor Boy indeed.

I wonder if I can get him to do some housechores? Maybe I will leave him a chore list!  🙂

UPDATE: Hostage is in house now, sleeping. Rest up my pretty, because we are expecting a full course dinner tonight!

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Filed under humor

Disturbia

camera

Hubby calls me this morning to check in.

Hubby: Did you put on Patches headcone?

Me: No

Hubby: WHY NOT?

Me: Rae is gonna…..when she leaves. It is her job to be the bad Aunt.

Hubby: I’m watching you…..the cameras are rolling. You better behave yourself.

Me: Does that mean my boyfriends can’t come over tonight?

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Filed under humor, humor couples, Love