Pets: 3 Me: 1 (chased them all, while wildly flailing my arms)
Pets: 3 Me: 1 (chased them all, while wildly flailing my arms)
4:00 AM wakeup call on my furlough day. NOT COOL.
MEOW! MEOW! MEOW!
Americus started the ruckus by swinging at the blinds in our room, over my head. I tried not to move. Any signs of movement….and they will pounce, if they notice. I believe the cats sit up on on their hind legs, extend a paw, slash the blinds and stare at my head….waiting for signs of movement. If they see that their efforts are in vain, then they begin phase 2: stomach walking (crushing) and licking of eyelids–that usually does the trick, movement is unavoidable. Trust me on this one, sandpaper tongue on your eyelids isn’t the best feeling.
It is SO on……
Pets: 2 Me: 0
Why don’t they do this when Hubby is here?
So, Hubby is out and about again on some consulting work. It is quite exciting really, because I get the bed to myself for 2 weeks. However, I will miss annoying him. The truth is, I already (kind of) miss him…but don’t tell him that!
Whenever Hubby goes out of town, the pets always tend to act up a little. For instance, after getting up at 4:30AM to take Hubby to the airport, I decided to let Patches out quick to go potty and then my plan was to go straight back to bed. However, Americus, had other plans. There I was opening the door for Patches to come back in (just a crack mind you). When out runs Americus.
Me: Americus get back in here!
So, I run out after her, inadvertantly shutting the door behind me, which I had conviently locked. (Not genius material, people)
So there I am outside, locked out, with Americus staring up at me. I wanted to strangle her.
Eventually, I broke in through an open window. However, this is strike one against her. It’s like she KNOWS Hubby is away and figures it is her job to keep me entertained….nice right?
Pets: 1 Me: 0
So yesterday, after I brought Americus home from the vet, Boston (her boyfriend with benefits) was a little moody. These two cats love each other so much, so I totally “get” what he is going through. Below are their actions, yet I am also incorporating the dialogue that I think went with it:
I let Americus out of her crate, Boston starts sniffing her and licking her. He obviously knows she is under the weather.
Boston (voice like Tony from the sopranos): Where you been, bizzo?
Americus (feeble-like): I have been sick. I don’t know what is going on.
Boston (voice like Tony from the sopranos): You smell like ass, let me clean you up.
Americus (feeble-like): Thanks.
They both than retreat to our bedroom closet where they decide to curl up next to each other.
Boston (voice like Tony from the sopranos): I love you, you better get better soon.
Americus (feeble-like): Yea, I am trying, but I feel like crap. Awww…you NEED me….
Boston (voice like Tony from the sopranos): yea, whatever.
Later on, Americus moves to another room, Boston follows. Again sniffing and licking her.
Boston (voice like Tony from the sopranos): You know you should eat something!
Americus (feeble-like): I don’t know what that crap that mom got me is. I am so not eating it, it is SO NASTY!
Boston (voice like Tony from the sopranos): I KNOW! She tried to see if me and Patches would take a bite! We both denied her, that stuff is CRAP. What a waste of money!
As I enter the room, Boston gets up and walks away from me. Hisses at Americus and avoids me like the plague. He is obviously moody. He also wouldn’t eat this morning, so I am off to the store to get them both some tuna…..they never turn that down.
I think he is having his typical boy moodiness cause his girl is under the weather. There’s a boy for you.
UPDATE: Americus ate some dry food tonight! YEA! This is the first time she has eaten in two days! Keep up the good thoughts, prayers and whatever other good vibes you want to send our way cause we appreciate it!
Well, things haven’t been getting much better since yesterday.
Americus, our alarm clock cat, is sick. It was weird because one minute she was fine, and the next she wasn’t eating or drinking and having bathroom problems, as well as extensive vomiting. I spent most of the night looking after her. Was pretty freaked out. Still am.
She is only 9, and we took her to the vet this morning. Of course, this isn’t any easier because Hubby isn’t here.
The vet has put her on some meds, but was alarmed by a high ALT level. This means she has enzymes leaking from her liver into her blood, which, from what I understand, could lead to liver failure. They gave her a hydration treatement and are hoping the medications will help before they determine any next steps.
I guess what is surprising to me, is that she wasn’t sick one day ago. She was acting normal…wake up calls and all.
I am hoping everything will be ok.
Lesson of the day: Never underestimate me because I am THAT good.
I have just gotten out of bed, despite the fact that the pets have been at me for hours trying to wake me up to feed them—-banging my head, meowing, doing my hair, pawing at the blinds, whining, crying, vomiting, you name it they did it. But, I have not moved, not even flinched in fear of them seeing any sign of movement. It is better they think I am still asleep, so they can move on to torment someone ELSE.
Eventually, Hubby finally gets his sorry you know what out of bed to feed them, after I literally push him out of bed. I mean, it is ME who feeds them all week long, it won’t kill him to do weekend detail.
After he comes back to bed, and I get up, he sidesteps the vomit and snidely says:
Hubby: NOT IT!
Me: Doesn’t count!
Hubby: Yes it does!
Me: Nope, I called sometime around 4:30ish AM, not my fault you didn’t hear it. So, you already lost your chance.
Hubby: It doesn’t count if I don’t hear it.
Me: Yes it does…because you were right by me…you just CHOSE not hear me. IT COUNTS!
UPDATE: Rae heard me call NOT IT at 4:30. I WIN.
I am all about being pround of myself for getting up at 4:30 during the weekdays for my routine of going to work early and working out.
However, I am NOT ok with the EVIL PETS continuing the routine on the weekends. Waking me up at 4:30 on the weekends is NOT OK. Please, demons, just let me sleep in one day this week! That is all I ask.
It’s obviously a mutiny. And I am obviously NOT going to win. I am just trying to figure out, how to survive without killing them, mostly Americus. She is the Devil himself, reincarnated.
Going back to bed now.
Since you are not here to feed me, I must fend for myself (scary thought). We are running out of cereal, so there are not a lot of choices. After last nights’ pasta fiasco, I wasn’t even about to attempt making dinner. So, I stopped at Arby’s on the way home. Nothing like a roast beef sandwich to end off the day and the pets couldn’t have agreed more with this.
Here are your evil fur children, accosting me throughout the whole dinner, and at one point I thought Boston might maim me for my roast beef sandwich. I think it is time for a pub style table ASAP!
So, being the amazing mother I am: I gave some roast beef to the evil dynamic duo in fear of my life. And then Boston almost ate my finger off.
The cats are out front eating grass, getting some outside time, while Hubby and I sit and watch.
Me: Uh OH!
Me: Both cats are nibbling on the grass out front.
Me and Hubby (in unison): NOT IT
Hubby: You can’t call NOT IT before there is a noise or a present on the ground.
Me: Can too and YOU DID. Did you find that present earlier this week, that I left for you? You were asleep, I didn’t want to wake you by screaming NOT IT. 🙂
Hubby (incredulous): You SAW it and LEFT it?
This is SO me! Hubby asks me all the time who I love more and my answer is always: Boston, the cat! I can’t live without him!