Tag Archives: chores

Why I’m Amazing…

gold-star1. I drive Hubby to the airport ALL.THE.TIME.

2. I actually made dinner tonight…and it wasn’t cereal…but it was cereal-like.

3. I am getting up to workout even on my furlough days…1 month and counting!

4. I did my dishes after dinner!

5. I did laundry.

6. I managed to play Dr. Mario against the Japanese….but they are too good. I cried.

7. I didn’t kill Hubby yesterday even though he was being a brat!

8. I don’t have to go to work tomorrow!

9. Hubby is headed somewhere where it is going to snow and I am wearing shorts and flip flops; I will be torturing him with my text messages.

10. I am going to lounge around tomorrow.

Do I get a gold star now?

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Filed under humor, I am a genius

That’s A Boy’s Job…

dirty

I was reading my Bloggy twin’s blog and it is just so weird how alike we are. I mean we even use the exact.same.language AND we live in different countries. How weird is that? So check her out, she is pretty cool, kinda like myself! 

Hubby: Do the dishes.

Me: That’s a boy’s job!

Hubby: Take out the trash.

Me: That’s a boy’s job.

Hubby: Clean the bathrooms.

Me: That’s a boy’s job!

Hubby: Come outside and pick the weeds with me.

Me: That’s a boy’s job!

Hubby: FINE, what exactly isn’ t a boy’s job?

Me:  Ummmm hmmmmmm. Yea, I can’t think of anything.

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Filed under Husbands, I am a genius

A sister’s lesson

Rae, The Hostage, and I were watching a movie; when Rae and I decided that we were hungry.

Rae (to the Hostage): MAKE US DINNER.

Me (copying her): Make us dinner….

Hostage: NO! After the movie

we continued this pattern for about 5 minutes. For the purpose of this blog, I won’t repeat it for 5 minutes, but I wanted you to get a feel for how annoying us sisters’ can be….

Me (matter of factly): Rae, you don’t have a good grip on controlling this hostage. If he won’t do what we say, we are going to have to get a new slave. Learn how to control him or he won’t ever be useful!

Rae: Yea, I know…he doesn’t do what I say.

Me: Not a good sign, if the Hostage revolts.

Rae (more directly to the Hostage): Make me cookies NOW!

The Hostage: NO! I don’t want to.

I think the Hostage is going to have to be beaten…..

To Be Continued….

slave-chain

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Filed under lazy, Life

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder…

hubby

Dear Hubby,

I am so excited for you to come home tomorrow. I have missed you so! The NOT IT rule is no fun when you are not here to scream it to. You are therefore, banned from leaving me alone from here on! Here are the things I won’t miss:

*Feeding the pets in the morning (they are evil)

*No one to talk too, besides the pets (all they care about is food…after that, they want nothing to do with me)

*Taking the trash out (that is a boy’s job)

*Making dinners (let’s just face it, I suck)

*Having no one to boss around (Rae doesn’t listen….EVER)

*Sharing the bed with the pets (they are bed hogs, especially Patches)

*Having to clean up cat vomit myself, rather than calling NOT IT (NOT FUN)

*Lack of bedtime conversations where I make fun of you (leaves a void)

*Your advice, even though I never listen (in my defense, I am deaf sometimes)

*And mostly, no one to kiss me goodnight and tell me they love me (even when I am mean and don’t deserve it)

I promise not to take you for granted anymore…ok, well maybe not for one week…gotta have realistic goals here!

Love, Wifey

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Filed under Husbands, marriage

Land mines, vacuuming, and checking your email…

poo

Me: Should we straighten the house?

Hubby: I guess so.

Me: Ok, I will do the cat litter and vacuum and you should really do Poop Patrol outside cause it looks like the backyard is full of poop, instead of dirt.

So, being the good Hubby that he is, goes out to clean up the land mines. Without even a complaint!

And that is when I get out the vacuum cleaner, plug it in and set it up in a room, so it can “appear” as though I am about to vacuum. Then I head straight for the office to play on the computer “AKA checking my email.”

I am so lost in the moment of “checking my email” that I didn’t hear Hubby come in.

Hubby (yelling): WHAT are YOU doing?!

As he brings me the bag of collected land mines and swings it in my face.

Me (guiltily): Checking my email. EWWWWW!

Hubby: That is not on the chore list, nor is it a chore!

Me: Of course it is, and I was just taking a “break” anyways.

Hubby: You are so lazy!

Hmmmm I prefer sneaky! 🙂

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Filed under Home, humor

Chore Wars

war1I created the T-Day chore list and this was our conversation a few nights ago (luckily I haven’t killed Hubby yet…I still need him to make the turkeys):

Me: Do you want to sweep or mop?

Hubby: Neither

Me: That is NOT an option.

Hubby: Neither

Me: I am going to stab your eye out.

Hubby: So what. I hate your chore list.

Me: I hate you. (Well, not really…but it sounded good in the heat of chore wars)

And the chore war begins, may the best person win. To Be Continued….

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Filed under holidays