Yea, so this isn’t really a surprise, but I am not a huge people person. But, you know what kind I can’t stand? The crazy, happy morning ones that are so chipper you just want to strangle them, yea you know what I am talking about, dontcha? I think they are just plain psycho and they just plain annoy me. They stifle me with their quest for everlasting cheeriness. With that being said, one of my friends sent me the BEST.VIDEO.EVER. on those types of crazy people. And I am going to share it with you all because I think it will put a smile on your faces. So, enjoy it and next time you run into one of these types of crazy, happy people you will remember this amazing video!
Tag Archives: Crazies
Yesterday morning, a friend and I went to Starbucks to get some caffeine. After the crap that happened yesterday morning, I thought the jolt of caffeine could be useful. Little did I know what was awaiting me on the other side of the counter….but Mr. PSYCHO, WAY TOO HAPPY, Starbucks guy. Being the cynic that I am, I couldn’t help but ask him about his jolliness at this ungodly hour in the morning!
Starbucks Psycho Guy on Crack (WAAAAAAY To Chipper): Hey there! How are YOU guys? What can I get you? Isn’t it a BEAUTIFUL morning? What a WONDERFUL day!
Me (incredulous at his audacity to be happy): WHOA! You are way too happy right now! Do you chow down on coffee beans?
Starbucks Psycho Guy on Crack (smiling so big, I think he might pull a muscle): Oh No! I don’t even DRINK coffee!
Me (ready to jump the counter and kill him): BUT, you work at Starbucks! What time do you wake up and go to sleep at night?
Starbucks Psycho Guy on Crack: I go to bed at midnight and get up at 2:30am.
Friend: But that is like 2.5 hours of sleep.
Starbucks Psycho Guy on Crack : I know, life is just so grand! I am just so happy and blessed and I LOVE my job!
Me (LOUDLY): You are just WAY too happy.
Friend: Your smile, as he was talking, was so fake. I thought you were going to jump the counter and really strangle that guy!
Me: The thought DID cross my mind. I just hate happy people.
Sorry, I know I am behind in these…but I was on furlough! 🙂 So, for those of you still left…I promise to catch up to you this week!
Today’s America’s Next Top Blogger is brought to you from a new reader, Thoughts From Under My Rock. I believe she and I might have quite a lot in common in our adventures at the grocery store. And with that being said, makes for very sad times.
Her topic was: Tell me about the biggest pet peeve you have regarding other people at the store (grocery, department, pharmacy, whatever), inside the store or out (or both), and then I’d like a very adjective and adverb-filled description of what you’d like to do to them for stirring up your fury… I wanna see if you and I think anything alike.
NOTE: As for adjective and adverb filled descriptions: This blog has censored them out…..sorry
Let me start out by stating two facts you need to know about me:
1. I hate shopping (I know, shocking right?)
2. I hate dumb people (if you recall, I emit the KRZY vibe, so these people ALWAYS find me.)
And for some reason, I seem to be plagued with both of these burdens, usually at the same time and usually at the grocery store. Why, oh why do the two things I dread most seem to go hand in hand? Never mind, don’t answer that. I’d rather not know.
So, here’s what happened:
Hubby and I were living in Connecticut at the time, while he attended graduate school at Yale. We got up early one Saturday morning to go to the grocery store. Mind you, this is a rare experience when in graduate school because we usually lived off of PB & J, however it must have been a payday week! J
Anyway, we have just finished off our grocery shopping experience, quite painlessly, I might add and I am off returning the cart, when the KRZY vibe strikes—paging everyone on the parking lot to come and get me.
I see a nice grocery cart boy pushing carts towards the entrance of the store, he was literally two feet from me. So, rather than push the cart to the cart collection area, I thought I would call him and just give him my cart to add to his pile.
Me: Excuse me. Can I hand you my cart?
Cart Boy (clearly turns around and sees me, but pretends he is deaf or mute)
Me: Excuse me!? (CENSORED ADJECTIVE)
Cart Boy (again turns around looks at me and again turns around as if I am invisible)
Me (now standing in the middle of the street, clearly astounded at Cart Boy’s rudeness while Hubby watches and laughs) (CENSORED ADVERB)
So, let me paint a picture for you, there I am standing in the middle of the road (with Hubby watching and laughing) astounded that Cart Boy would diss me like that…when a car rudely starts honking at me (ok, I will give you that one, I was standing in the street like a moron, but that is besides the point…)
The honking quickly brings me back to reality, I slowly wave and shrug my shoulders at the people in the car, like…I can’t believe this is happening, trying to point at (the now NOT NICE) cart boy.
When the lady in the car starts screaming, honking, and yelling at me, while her 10 year old in the front seat starts flicking me off with his middle finger. ARE.YOU.SERIOUS? (CENSORED ADJECTIVE AND ADVERB)
Hubby: LAUGHING SO LOUD
Me: I HATE CONNECTICUT AND ALL YOU RUDE PEOPLE! Did you see that, HUBBY? Can you believe all that just happened to me? (CENSORED ADJECTIVE AND ADVERB)
Hubby: UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER
Me (clearly saddened at the state of mean people in this world): Why can’t people just be nice? It is SATURDAY for goodness sake! They don’t have any reason to be mean, they aren’t even at work! (CENSORED ADJECTIVE AND ADVERB)
And, that dear readers, is what happened to me and why KRZY vibes and Connecticut just don’t mix. EVER.
I have a serious problem; I’ve decided that crazy people are stalking me! I can’t get away from them. I think that they are a necessary part of my life, unavoidable, yet there…just like speeding tickets, traffic, and long lines at the grocery store. These are not your typical “types” of crazy people that belong in the loony bin, but the kinds that are supposed to be educated, fully functional people that are just irrational and clueless.
Help me! Please? (stop smiling!)
Don’t get me wrong, I know we all have a degree of crazy in us (myself included) but SUPER CRAZY…that is what I tend to run into….you know the kind….the ones that are just cuckoo for cocoa puffs!
I guess the reason I meet so many is to build character, right? But, how many “character building” characters do I REALLY need to learn from?! Honestly, I think I have already met my quota for the year and 2009 has barely got off of its’ feet! I think I am in for a LONG year, already.
The only conclusion I can come up with is that I have the KRZY vibe and so the crazies flock to me. The question is: how do I get rid of it? I must emit some type of odor, maybe like catnip where they just flock to me! I mean, really people, REAL.LY.
The types of crazy people that I run into who are “cuckoo for cocoa puffs” are of all ages. But, I especially run into the types who you think would or should know better. YOU.WOULD.THINK. I guess what I cannot get over is how very exhausting the crazies are. They make me questions myself: Is it me or is it you? Am I the Crazy one, or is it you? Did she just say that, or am I imagining it? WHAT? SERIOUSLY?!
I will continue to try and take the high road, but the detours look so appealing…..don’t they? Maybe you had better just commit me, than the crazies won’t be able to find me, right? RIGHT?!
Tomorrow I am summoned to Jury Duty. While most people would probaby not be excited for this….I LOVE the idea of missing work! I know, call me crazy, but a day of people watching ( I like to make up stories about people that I am watching….for instance, see that person that is in the cubicle next to yours….he used to be a mass murderer, until he stole someone’s identity…he is currently scoping you out and soon will kill you and take over your job!) See won’t I make THE. PERFECT. JUROR? Especially with my overactive imagination!
Plus, I get to sleep in an extra 30 minutes…..what more could one ask for? So, tomorrow I will report on my crazy day, that is, unless I am chosen to be on a trial…but that would be too good to be true. Imagine missing that much work……WOO HOO!
Yea, my luck isn’t THAT good because this morning I broke a small compact mirror, which means 7 years of bad luck are about to be upon me….eh, whatever….I am not scared. YET.
I think it might be a conspiracy against me, but the crazy people are still after me! Why can’t I escape them? What odor am I emitting (ok, don’t answer that)? I can’t seem to escape them. Yesterday, I was at work, talking with a co-worker. A lady comes into my area and asks to use one of the computers. Sure, no problem I say and I go straight back to work. Then the lady shouts (she seems to be flustered and I am literally 2 feet away—no need for shouting) this computer is broken! I can’t get it to turn on!
The look on my face must have said it all because I look at her (astonished). It helps if you press the large round button below the desktop to power it on. To which she replies. Oh, I see, I am not used to desktop computers.
Is this conversation really happening? Why are the Crazies following me everywhere I go?
Hubby and I decided to go out for a quick look-see on Black Friday. Yea, we are crazy….but we survived. No major bruises, scrapes, or tramplings. However, I did talk with people and apparently some people had been in lines for stuff starting at 6pm on Wednesday! WHO DOES THAT? That means they MISSED Thanksgiving! (I cannot even comprehend this) There is one term for that…. CRAZY!
I, like everyone else, can drool over a good sale, but people these are just things….I can’t believe people get killed, fight, and trample for these items. I guess I will never understand it, but is it worth missing stuffing and turkey over? Heck, no! In my opinion that is just plain INSANITY! That is….unless you have a death wish….if so, I suppose it could be a way to make the headlines. (Again, CRAZY!)
This weekend we did our major Thanksgiving grocery shopping and let me tell you….it was not fun. However, we did do our homework and research because Frys Grocery Store is accepting competitors coupons, so we had to maximize our grocery shopping! We researched and cut millions of coupons…and saved a lot of money in the meantime. Upon check out time….we had the worst time. The coupon nazi (he was young) basically wanted to re-see every item (mind you the bagger had already bagged all our items….) so he was driving us crazy. As we apologized to people in line, they were even on our side (one lady exclaimed) hey they did their homework, give them their deals!
This kid was crazy……I finallly was like you know what I am not going to unbag all of our items to prove to you I got the matching item. After much consternation, I think he finally gave in towards the end, but he was crazy dude–and slow…he was like did you get this, and this?. Personally, I didn’t see the point in fighting over a dollar off deoderant, right? I mean come on…..anyways….that was our Sunday….at least the chaos of grocery shopping is done and we are on our way to a full kitchen. Why is it that grocery shopping around the time of the holidays is so painful? And why are there coupon nazi’s? I mean if you advertise it…and we do our homework and take the time to carefully shop down each and every aisle to mazimize the purchase—then don’t hassle me OR come along and be my personal shopper!
Oh, the joys of going to the Parking and Transit Office. How are those people so dumb? Is it part of the qualifications to act like you cannot comprehend people and to be mean? I have visited this office now 2 times in basically one week, not because I ENJOY it (I know surprising right…cause who doesn’t enjoy a good ol Parking and Transit office), but because the parking pass that I am paying millions of hard earned dollars on refuses to work….EVER. And I am tired of paying for something that doesn’t work!
So, I march myself over to the office after nearly ramming down the gate to get in! I get there and see the same lady as last week. I tell her my pass doesn’t work STILL (I emphasize). She looks at me like I am a complete moron (chomps on her gum) and says “Are you sure you are using it correctly? Did you try this…did you do it this way?” To which I declare….”I have tried it every which way! I have gotten out of my car…I have backed up….I have screamed at the card and then the gate…nothing does it, can I just have one that works!”
She looks at me like I am lying and says…well you just got a new one last week! And I reply I know! I was hoping it would work this time! She then says she might have to have someone walk me back to the gate to see if I am using it properly….to which I say “That would be great! Then I can SHOW you how it doesn’t work.” But instead she fills out the paperwork, rolls her eyes, chomps on some gum and then begrudgingly hands me over a new pass, only this time she includes a small sheet of directions on how to use the parking pass—so I can troubleshoot she says. ARE YOU KIDDING ME LADY? I hope she gets a nice piece of coal in her stocking for Christmas!
AAAAah you gotta love working for a university!