Tag Archives: dogs

Strange Phenomenons


Is it strange that for the second morning in a row, I woke up on the floor next to the bed? How did I get there? I don’t remember it. Meanwhile, looked up to find Patches, the dog with her head on my pillows, snoring, and sprawled out like a person on MY side of the bed. Then, under further examination, I find Hubby snuggling up to her, with his arm around her belly.

Clearly, I have been replaced by the dog. I think this is a conspiracy. I think I have been ousted. Evil BED HOG. How is she doing this? And HOW does Hubby not realize that he is snuggling up to a big, hairy beast?

I am not big or hairy …..nor a beast. At least I don’t think.

Stupid Bed Hog.

I think it is time for a bigger bed. Or maybe I should just get my OWN bed. Yea, I like that idea better. 🙂


Filed under Pets


Adorable, right? They are only cute when they are sleeping...

Adorable, right? They are only cute when they are sleeping...

I am all about being pround of myself for getting up at 4:30 during the weekdays for my routine of going to work early and working out.

However, I am NOT ok with the EVIL PETS  continuing the routine on the weekends. Waking me up at 4:30 on the weekends is NOT OK. Please, demons, just let me sleep in one day this week! That is all I ask.

It’s obviously a mutiny. And I am obviously NOT going to win. I am just trying to figure out, how to survive without killing them, mostly Americus. She is the Devil himself, reincarnated.

Going back to bed now.


Filed under Pets

To obey or not? THAT is the question…

Well, Hubby is away in Texas this week, so I will not be able to have our exciting pre-bedtime conversations about SEXY scruff, getting old and the NOT IT rule.

Instead, I will try and get into trouble in other ways. Such as, avoiding his explicit instructions to not forget to put on Patches’ headcone everyday this week….hmmm we shall see……..but, she hates it people, she really hates it. If you don’t know what I am talking about, please see My Dog, the ConeHead

See those sad eyes. It is like she is a teenager in headgear!

So, tell me what do you think?


Filed under couples, humor, Pets

Our Side of the Story

Dearest Mom and Dad,

We were offended by your recent belief that we were plotting to kill you. Let us remind you, that we have been with you longer than that stupid dog, who whines and tattles more than she guards the house. She is just a whiny tattle tale looking for attention.

I mean really, you think we would want to kill you? Our only food source? Are you guys crazy?

We thought you should know the truth. We have been on the computer occasionally, but the reason is not what that stupid mutt suggested (we have NO IDEA why that site was bookmarked, but we think Patches was setting us up). However, we were merely trying to pull our share in helping with the family finances. We came up with a great idea to make some money. We think you will be very pleased with this idea.


We have decided to sell Patches, just think how much money you will save in Busy Bones alone! We think we are genious and will soon create a business to assist other families in need.

We love you and are faithful 100%.

Love forever and always,

Your Angels Boston and Americus



Filed under humor, Pets

My Dog, the ConeHead

This past week, Patches has been licking and licking and licking and licking and licking and licking and licking (well, I think you get the point) her back leg until it was raw. Seeing this, Hubby and I decided we would try our hands at being veternarians (this is not reccommended, but it seemed to work, at first), since our income, lately has been on the downward spiral. We decided we would saran wrap this rogue leg, so she couldn’t lick it.
However, about six or seven days later, she was still licking and the saran wrap was just not cutting it.

So, today,  Hubby took her to the vet (after much begging and pleading to take our “dying puppy” to the vet so her leg would not fall off and she wouldn’t die..insert my sad puppy eyes here)!

They think it is some kind of bacterial infection, since it is nowhere else on her body, but this one spot. So, they gave her some antiseptic spray and shaved her back leg and said we have to watch her and make sure she doesn’t lick it!


And then…..they said she had to wear the conehead, to make sure she didn’t lick….I really tried not to laugh when I saw this…I know, I am such a bad mother….as I pointed and rolled on the floor!


But, as she banged into the walls to come and greet me when I got home, I just fell to the floor laughing because everywhere she went she banged into EVERYTHING. Poor, Poor Patches. She is the saddest dog ever and after what we paid at the vet, Hubby is forcing her to wear it per the vet’s reccomendation of ten days!

Poor, Sad Patches!



Filed under humor, Pets

The Curious Case of the Bed Hog

(NOTE: The following story is a true event. The place and names HAVE NOT been changed to protect the identity of the party involved.)

I have always liked laying on the floor. I enjoy watching movies, tv and even sometimes (gasp) sleeping on the floor. For as long as I can remember, my sisters and I have made “floor beds” on the floor with tons of blankets and pillows, so I guess that is why I love the floor so much.

Lately, every morning without fail, Hubby finds me asleep on the floor right beside the bed. I don’t know why I do this. Sometimes I am hot, sometimes I must sleep walk, and sometimes I think it is a curious case of the bed hog that pushes me to the floor…maybe.

Here is the bed hog: (and yes, she really does sleep like this)



The Bed Hog is always HOGGING the bed, if not hogging the bed, then kicking me with her feet. Why does she sleep on the bed you ask? Because IF she does not get her way, she will WHINE and WHINE and WHINE, until I want to strangle her….and try as I might I CAN’T ignore her. ( I know she does sound a lot like me, huh?)

So, this morning, I woke up a couple of times to a gagging, hacking cough-like sound over my head. I thought to myself why is HUBBY sounding like that? Only to semi-wake up and find myself on the floor, Patches laying length-wise on my side, with her head on my pillow looking down at me gag-coughing.

Strange, I think to myself:

1. How did I end up on the floor, while my dog is in MY bed next to MY Hubby, looking down at me, like I am the dog?

2. Is she going to throw up a hairball on me?

Curious, very curious indeed….

Pretty "Princess" Patches

Pretty "Princess" Patches


Filed under humor, Pets, Sleep Habits

I’m a Slave for you…

I swear these cartoonists must be spying on us…because these are the types of conversations that Hubby and I have.



Filed under humor

The Bad Influence


Since moving to AZ, Patches Phoenix (the dog) has found her lover (her cousin Sydney). Well, we think they like each other a lot since they are constantly licking inside each other’s mouths. Not that we mind…..but sometimes you shouldn’t be that forthright—in front of the parents. Now Sydney is a lab (you can read all about her in her blog called: After Dinner Entertainment: Priceless).

If you’ve ever read Marley and Me, that is Sydney. She is a lab, but definitely has some issues. You cannot leave out flip flops, sometimes she mistakes carpets for bathrooms, and she also is TOY CRAZY. She enjoys taking out all her toys and leaving them EVERYWHERE. And I mean after she has come over….I will find toys hidden in the weirdest spots DAYS later. So, what I am getting at is that Patches is impressionable. She has always been pretty clean and low key…her downfall is whining….and I mean CONSTANT whining…if you are not touching her constantly then she is whining. But for the most part she has always been well-behaved, non-messy, and cute. Until now…..

Sydney has taught Patches the art of TOY Chaos. Now I sometimes come home to toys strewn about the living room, as terror grips my heart…. WHAT? I hate picking up toys! She has also taught Patches how to tear the toys up….first take off their eyes, then slit their throats, then pull out all the stuffing and toss it about the house? What is this world coming too?

What is happening to my good dog (ok my semi-good dog)? She used to be so good, she used to clean up her toys…..what a bad influence cousins are!


Filed under Pets