Yesterday morning, a friend and I went to Starbucks to get some caffeine. After the crap that happened yesterday morning, I thought the jolt of caffeine could be useful. Little did I know what was awaiting me on the other side of the counter….but Mr. PSYCHO, WAY TOO HAPPY, Starbucks guy. Being the cynic that I am, I couldn’t help but ask him about his jolliness at this ungodly hour in the morning!
Starbucks Psycho Guy on Crack (WAAAAAAY To Chipper): Hey there! How are YOU guys? What can I get you? Isn’t it a BEAUTIFUL morning? What a WONDERFUL day!
Me (incredulous at his audacity to be happy): WHOA! You are way too happy right now! Do you chow down on coffee beans?
Starbucks Psycho Guy on Crack (smiling so big, I think he might pull a muscle): Oh No! I don’t even DRINK coffee!
Me (ready to jump the counter and kill him): BUT, you work at Starbucks! What time do you wake up and go to sleep at night?
Starbucks Psycho Guy on Crack: I go to bed at midnight and get up at 2:30am.
Friend: But that is like 2.5 hours of sleep.
Starbucks Psycho Guy on Crack : I know, life is just so grand! I am just so happy and blessed and I LOVE my job!
Me (LOUDLY): You are just WAY too happy.
Friend: Your smile, as he was talking, was so fake. I thought you were going to jump the counter and really strangle that guy!
Me: The thought DID cross my mind. I just hate happy people.
Filed under Crazies, work
In order for Hubby to make his plane tomorrow, I have to get up at 3:30AM. He is going to OWE me big time after this one. As if, getting up at 4:30AM is not ungodly enough. Tomorrow is going to be my grumpiest day EVER….that is until I get my Guiness. Stay away, I warn you….just stay away.
THIS is not going to be pretty.
I think I should make him walk to the airport; what do you think?
The pets are evil. I don’t know what their deal is….but the one time we can sleep in is on the weekends they REFUSE to let us. I think they are a tagteam. I can actually hear their conversations:
Americus (the LOUDEST, MEOWING cat you will ever meet): Ok, everyone here is the plan. I will go into the room and start meowing at 4 AM. Just to get it started. If either of you see any movement…and I MEAN ANY then pounce, whine, do whatever you have to do to get them up.
Boston (the stand on you so you can’t breathe cat and licker of eyelids): Ok, but if that doesn’t work then I will chase you around the house, Americus and pounce on you until you scream…thus causing Patches to bark and go crazy and wake the whole house up!
Patches (the dog and eternal whiner): Sounds good, but if either of those don’t work I will just whine and whine and whine you know Mommy can’t stand that! Or maybe I will poke her with my long nose.
Time: Early in the morning…still dark outside. Probably 4am.
Me: Awake now ……..guess where all the pets are…..oh yea, they are all asleep right here beside me as I type! EVIL Tagteam!