Tag Archives: Food

Strange Encounters at Hooter’s

hooters

NOTE: Not meant to offend any preggo readers. But, I hope none of you work at Hooters!

My friend and I went out to lunch today. She was craving a burger, and the closest burger joint near our work is Hooters. So, I suggested we go there for lunch. She was excited because she LOVES Hooter’s girls. She is dirty like that. (I am just kidding, she is going to KILL me for writing this, but I kinda have a deathwish)

Anyways, we get there and are quickly seated, despite me staring and whispering…

Me: DID you see that preggo Hooter’s girl. Weird place to work for a preggo, don’t you think? (My whisper voice is kinda loud)

Friend: SHHHHHH THIS is why I can’t go anywhere with you!

And GUESS what happens?

Preggo becomes our waitress. I just couldn’t stop staring at her belly. Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not passing judgement on the preggos. I even have some friends that are preggo. More power to them, but preggo and working at Hooters? Well, hmmmm just a little awkward. I mean she was OBVIOUSLY preggo, not just a little. Her belly was practically on our table. So, anyways there I am just staring at her belly, while she asks what we want to drink, thinking that maybe her baby is going to have to start working at Hooters once s/he is born. Poor thing. Hopefully it is a girl. And what if her water breaks here at Hooters? Is that a health hazard? (These are the questions that go through my mind. I just can’t help it.)

When my friend points out that we were obligated to have her as our waitress because

1. We are the only girls in the place besides the waitstaff

2. We were probably her best source of tip money today because what guy comes to Hooters to have a preggo waitress? AWKWARD

So, then I felt bad for her. But, I also felt discriminated against. I mean, so what…just cause we are girls, we can’t get a real Hooters girl? Total discrimination if you ask me. My friend is still disappointed she didn’t get to ogle any waitresses. Ah, maybe next time.

AND, just so you know, I left Preggo a good tip. I hope she can quit her day job!

6 Comments

Filed under Food, Strange observances

A Rating of the Hostage

stars

The Hostage survived his torture last week.

I cannot give him 4 stars because he was being insubordinate. EVIL HOSTAGE. So, with that being said, I give him a 3 out of 4 stars.

(For those of you that need an explanation; the hostage is my baby sister’s Boy and we took him as a hostage while the Hubby was out of town so we could eat something besides cereal.)

His food was great, he kept up on conversations and he even did some dishes.

I like this.

I think I will keep him, except I am going to glue his mouth shut. FOREVER. He has no right to talkback because it is his JOB to serve us.

I did tell him though, thanks to you faithful readers, that I think we might have a new business on our hands. I even told him I would go 70/30 with him. It could be called RENT A HOSTAGE. I am FULL of great ideas!

Conversation with the Hostage:

Me (a bit too excitedly): I will do all the marketing, writing, and web design (cause I am amazing like that) and all you have to do is all the work, i.e. cooking, cleaning. Not too bad, right?

Hostage (skeptical): Is that right?

Me: Yea, I mean, it would be awesome. You’d have a lot of work, make some money and I will manage you cause I am the brains behind this business. (I mean that is why I got my MBA, right? Totally genius material here)

Hostage: Yea, I just don’t think it would work.

I think I am on to something here….anyone want to be my financial backer?

4 Comments

Filed under I am a genius

He’s Baaaacckk!

frenchtoast

Me: Make me French toast!

Hubby: ok

Me (jumping ahead): But, you have too! I have had a very stressful week!

Hubby: I said I would, but we don’t have bread, so I have to go to the store.

Me: Sorry, I am used to the Hostage being insubordinate, so I jumped the gun a little. It is so nice having you back…I think I have a whole new appreciation for you! 🙂

7 Comments

Filed under Love

A Typical Male

kitty-mer-012

So yesterday, after I brought Americus home from the vet, Boston (her boyfriend with benefits) was a little moody. These two cats love each other so much, so I totally “get” what he is going through. Below are their actions, yet I am also incorporating the dialogue that I think went with it:

I let Americus out of her crate, Boston starts sniffing her and licking her. He obviously knows she is under the weather.

Boston (voice like Tony from the sopranos): Where you been, bizzo?

Americus (feeble-like): I have been sick. I don’t know what is going on.

Boston (voice like Tony from the sopranos): You smell like ass, let me clean you up.

Americus (feeble-like): Thanks.

They both than retreat to our bedroom closet where they decide to curl up next to each other.

Boston (voice like Tony from the sopranos): I love you, you better get better soon.

Americus (feeble-like): Yea, I am trying, but I feel like crap. Awww…you NEED me….

Boston (voice like Tony from the sopranos):  yea, whatever.

Later on, Americus moves to another room, Boston follows. Again sniffing and licking her.

Boston (voice like Tony from the sopranos): You know you should eat something! 

Americus (feeble-like):  I don’t know what that crap that mom got me is. I am so not eating it, it is SO NASTY!

Boston (voice like Tony from the sopranos): I KNOW! She tried to see if me and Patches would take a bite! We both denied her, that stuff is CRAP. What a waste of money!

As I enter the room, Boston gets up and walks away from me. Hisses at Americus and avoids me like the plague. He is obviously moody. He also wouldn’t eat this morning, so I am off to the store to get them both some tuna…..they never turn that down.

 I think he is having his typical boy moodiness cause his girl is under the weather.  There’s a boy for you.

UPDATE: Americus ate some dry food tonight! YEA! This is the first time she has eaten in two days! Keep up the good thoughts, prayers and whatever other good vibes you want to send our way cause we appreciate it!

7 Comments

Filed under Challenges, Life

The Hostage

hostage

Hubby will be away all week at a conference and I am taking a prisoner hostage.

Side Note: a little sadness, but I get the bed to myself. Just not sure who to torment yet…maybe Rae.

So, I told Rae we are hijacking her Boy to come cook for us all week. I told him under no certain terms that I don’t feel like eating cereal for the whole week, so we need someone to come and take care of us! Me and Rae WOULD REALLY eat cereal all week–chocolate chex to be exact.

The Boy better be scared, we want a home-made dinner on the table everynight! Hubby does not envy the Boy at all and told me I better not torment him since he has quasi-agreed to come over and make us dinners.

Poor Boy, stuck with the two non-cooking, lazy sisters…poor, poor Boy indeed.

I wonder if I can get him to do some housechores? Maybe I will leave him a chore list!  🙂

UPDATE: Hostage is in house now, sleeping. Rest up my pretty, because we are expecting a full course dinner tonight!

5 Comments

Filed under humor

Affairs of the Heart

Confession Time:

I am in love with someone else. I can’t live without him. I cheat on Hubby weekly. I am always having to go back for more. I am never satisfied. It is like an unquencheable, crazy, uncontrollable, love fest. I think I might be addicted. But, I can’t stop. I will do anything for him. ANY.THING.

I am undeniably, uncontrollably in love. IN LOVE.

With Jersey Mike’s.

I can’t stop thinking about it. I want it ALL.THE.TIME.

I just had it yesterday, and I already want it again…it is beckoning me and I cannot control the urge.

love-fest

What do you think? Should I tell Hubby about my affairs of the heart?

6 Comments

Filed under Food, Weird Info about me

Fact

This is why dessert is important in our house…

dessert

3 Comments

Filed under couples