Yesterday morning, a friend and I went to Starbucks to get some caffeine. After the crap that happened yesterday morning, I thought the jolt of caffeine could be useful. Little did I know what was awaiting me on the other side of the counter….but Mr. PSYCHO, WAY TOO HAPPY, Starbucks guy. Being the cynic that I am, I couldn’t help but ask him about his jolliness at this ungodly hour in the morning!
Starbucks Psycho Guy on Crack (WAAAAAAY To Chipper): Hey there! How are YOU guys? What can I get you? Isn’t it a BEAUTIFUL morning? What a WONDERFUL day!
Me (incredulous at his audacity to be happy): WHOA! You are way too happy right now! Do you chow down on coffee beans?
Starbucks Psycho Guy on Crack (smiling so big, I think he might pull a muscle): Oh No! I don’t even DRINK coffee!
Me (ready to jump the counter and kill him): BUT, you work at Starbucks! What time do you wake up and go to sleep at night?
Starbucks Psycho Guy on Crack: I go to bed at midnight and get up at 2:30am.
Friend: But that is like 2.5 hours of sleep.
Starbucks Psycho Guy on Crack : I know, life is just so grand! I am just so happy and blessed and I LOVE my job!
Me (LOUDLY): You are just WAY too happy.
Friend: Your smile, as he was talking, was so fake. I thought you were going to jump the counter and really strangle that guy!
Me: The thought DID cross my mind. I just hate happy people.