Tag Archives: help

Affairs of the Heart

Confession Time:

I am in love with someone else. I can’t live without him. I cheat on Hubby weekly. I am always having to go back for more. I am never satisfied. It is like an unquencheable, crazy, uncontrollable, love fest. I think I might be addicted. But, I can’t stop. I will do anything for him. ANY.THING.

I am undeniably, uncontrollably in love. IN LOVE.

With Jersey Mike’s.

I can’t stop thinking about it. I want it ALL.THE.TIME.

I just had it yesterday, and I already want it again…it is beckoning me and I cannot control the urge.

love-fest

What do you think? Should I tell Hubby about my affairs of the heart?

6 Comments

Filed under Food, Weird Info about me

An Experience to Remember

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Sorry, I know I am behind in these…but I was on furlough! 🙂 So, for those of you still left…I promise to catch up to you this week!

Today’s America’s Next Top Blogger is brought to you from a new reader, Thoughts From Under My Rock. I believe she and I might have quite a lot in common in our adventures at the grocery store. And with that being said, makes for very sad times.

Her topic was: Tell me about the biggest pet peeve you have regarding other people at the store (grocery, department, pharmacy, whatever), inside the store or out (or both), and then I’d like a very adjective and adverb-filled description of what you’d like to do to them for stirring up your fury… I wanna see if you and I think anything alike.

NOTE: As for adjective and adverb filled descriptions: This blog has censored them out…..sorry

Let me start out by stating two facts you need to know about me:

1.      I hate shopping (I know, shocking right?)

2.      I hate dumb people (if you recall, I emit the KRZY vibe, so these people ALWAYS find me.)

And for some reason, I seem to be plagued with both of these burdens, usually at the same time and usually at the grocery store. Why, oh why do the two things I dread most seem to go hand in hand? Never mind, don’t answer that. I’d rather not know.

So, here’s what happened:

Hubby and I were living in Connecticut at the time, while he attended graduate school at Yale. We got up early one Saturday morning to go to the grocery store. Mind you, this is a rare experience when in graduate school because we usually lived off of PB & J, however it must have been a payday week! J

Anyway, we have just finished off our grocery shopping experience, quite painlessly, I might add and I am off returning the cart, when the KRZY vibe strikes—paging everyone on the parking lot to come and get me.

I see a nice grocery cart boy pushing carts towards the entrance of the store, he was literally two feet from me. So, rather than push the cart to the cart collection area, I thought I would call him and just give him my cart to add to his pile.                

Me: Excuse me. Can I hand you my cart?

Cart Boy (clearly turns around and sees me, but pretends he is deaf or mute)

Me: Excuse me!?  (CENSORED ADJECTIVE)

Cart Boy (again turns around looks at me and again turns around as if I am invisible)

Me (now standing in the middle of the street, clearly astounded at Cart Boy’s rudeness while Hubby watches and laughs) (CENSORED ADVERB)

So, let me paint a picture for you, there I am standing in the middle of the road (with Hubby watching and laughing) astounded that Cart Boy would diss me like that…when a car rudely starts honking at me (ok, I will give you that one, I was standing in the street like a moron, but that is besides the point…)

The honking quickly brings me back to reality, I slowly wave and shrug my shoulders at the people in the car, like…I can’t believe this is happening, trying to point at (the now NOT NICE) cart boy.

When the lady in the car starts screaming, honking, and yelling at me, while her 10 year old in the front seat starts flicking me off with his middle finger. ARE.YOU.SERIOUS? (CENSORED ADJECTIVE AND ADVERB)

Hubby: LAUGHING SO LOUD

Me: I HATE CONNECTICUT AND ALL YOU RUDE PEOPLE! Did you see that, HUBBY? Can you believe all that just happened to me?  (CENSORED ADJECTIVE AND ADVERB)

Hubby: UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER

Me (clearly saddened at the state of mean people in this world): Why can’t people just be nice? It is SATURDAY for goodness sake! They don’t have any reason to be mean, they aren’t even at work! (CENSORED ADJECTIVE AND ADVERB)

And, that dear readers, is what happened to me and why KRZY vibes and Connecticut just don’t mix. EVER.

9 Comments

Filed under America's Next Top Blogger, blogging, Challenges, Crazies

Texting is Killing my Marriage…

texting

Well, almost. I mean I do have a flair for the dramatic, just a little.

 I do admit that I have  a lot of crazy traits–obsessive deleting, inability to cook pasta, screaming NOT IT in the middle of conversations with the Hubby, deafness (only when I hear something I don’t want to do), and I suppose I am a bit quirky. BUT these are all things Hubby loves about me…right Hubby?

But, I just CAN’T.STOP.TEXTING. I admit it. I am obsessed.Rather than pick up the phone (EVER) I just text. Everyone, everwhere, all the time. This is where we get into the “ruining my marriage” part. The BILL. Not pretty people, not pretty AT ALL.

Me (trying to hide the Sprint bill, miserably failing)

Hubby: What have you got there?

Me: Hmmm you aren’t going to like it. My cell bill.

Hubby: How much did you go over THIS time? I mean you HAVE 1000 texts! I have 200 and I never go over!

Me (in true addict form): I know, but it isn’t enough, it is just NOT ENOUGH…really; I promise not to do it next time (all lies, mind you)

Hubby (sighing heavily): Do you have to text so much? Why don’t you just call people?

Me: Because I HATE talking to people. Texting is in and out… I don’t have to talk and if I am bored…I can just stop texting. You should blame my cousin for teaching me!

Hubby (exasperated): BUT, you always text back; it is like you ALWAYS have to have the last word!

Me (still in denial): They must have messed it up somewhere….right? I know…I know…..it is a serious problem! Do you think they have a Texter’s Anonymous?

Me (inspired by genius): I know! We should just pitch a “texting only” plan to the cell company….do you think they would go for it? That is what I need!

11 Comments

Filed under couples, Irrational

Consumed by the Crazies…

They are after me!

They are after me!

 

I have a serious problem; I’ve decided that crazy people are stalking me! I can’t get away from them. I think that they are a necessary part of my life, unavoidable, yet there…just like speeding tickets, traffic, and long lines at the grocery store. These are not your typical “types” of crazy people that belong in the loony bin, but the kinds that are supposed to be educated, fully functional people that are just irrational and clueless.

Help me! Please? (stop smiling!)

Don’t get me wrong, I know we all have a degree of crazy in us (myself included) but SUPER CRAZY…that is what I tend to run into….you know the kind….the ones that are just cuckoo for cocoa puffs!

I guess the reason I meet so many is to build character, right? But, how many “character building” characters do I REALLY need to learn from?! Honestly, I think I have already met my quota for the year and 2009 has barely got off of its’ feet! I think I am in for a LONG year, already.

The only conclusion I can come up with is that I have the KRZY vibe and so the crazies flock to me. The question is: how do I get rid of it? I must emit some type of odor, maybe like catnip where they just flock to me! I mean, really people, REAL.LY.

The types of crazy people that I run into who are “cuckoo for cocoa puffs” are of all ages. But, I especially run into the types who you think would or should know better. YOU.WOULD.THINK. I guess what I cannot get over is how very exhausting the crazies are. They make me questions myself: Is it me or is it you? Am I the Crazy one, or is it you? Did she just say that, or am I imagining it? WHAT? SERIOUSLY?!

 I will continue to try and take the high road, but the detours look so appealing…..don’t they? Maybe you had better just commit me, than the crazies won’t be able to find me, right? RIGHT?!

Anyone….

10 Comments

Filed under Crazies

Help!

dumb

9 Comments

Filed under Life

I have a problem…

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Unlike others of you out there that stalk blogs and don’t leave comments, I LOVE leaving comments. I WANT people to know I have been there. I think it is because it is like a dog marking its’ territory. (Ok, maybe not exactly like that). But, I like people to know I have been to their site, plus I think (sometimes) I can offer jewels of wisdom. No, really, sometimes I AM smart, right Mom?

 I love reading the various blogs out there and commenting all over the place and until recently, I didn’t realize this addiction. But, I think I am finally coming to terms with it. I.AM.A.COMMENT.WHORE.

There, I said it. See, I feel better getting it off my chest.

I just can’t help myself. I love them! The short ones, the long ones, I love reading them and leaving them. Capital ones, lowercase ones, nice ones, mean ones…I love them all! So, my question is, is there help out there for me?

Comment Whore Anonymous, or something?

16 Comments

Filed under blogging, humor

Life as I know it, at work…

I think it might be a conspiracy against me, but the crazy people are still after me! Why can’t I escape them? What odor am I emitting (ok, don’t answer that)? I can’t seem to escape them. Yesterday, I was at work, talking with a co-worker. A lady comes into my area and asks to use one of the computers. Sure, no problem I say and I go straight back to work. Then the lady shouts (she seems to be flustered and I am literally 2 feet away—no need for shouting) this computer is broken! I can’t get it to turn on!

The look on my face must have said it all because I look at her (astonished). It helps if you press the large round button below the desktop to power it on.  To which she replies. Oh, I see, I am not used to desktop computers.

 Is this conversation really happening? Why are the Crazies following me everywhere I go?

crazy

8 Comments

Filed under work