Tag Archives: Home

When Hubby is Away the Cat will Play….

So, Hubby is out and about again on some consulting work. It is quite exciting really, because I get the bed to myself for 2 weeks. However, I will miss annoying him.  The truth is, I already (kind of) miss him…but don’t tell him that!

Whenever Hubby goes out of town, the pets always tend to act up a little. For instance, after getting up at 4:30AM to take Hubby to the airport, I decided to let Patches out quick to go potty and then my plan was to go straight back to bed. However, Americus, had other plans. There I was opening the door for Patches to come back in (just a crack mind you). When out runs Americus.

!!$(*#$(#*#

Me: Americus get back in here!

So, I run out after her, inadvertantly shutting the door behind me, which I had conviently locked. (Not genius material, people)

So there I am outside, locked out, with Americus staring up at me. I wanted to strangle her.

Eventually, I broke in through an open window. However, this is strike one against her. It’s like she KNOWS Hubby is away and figures it is her job to keep me entertained….nice right?

Score:

Pets: 1             Me: 0sneaky-cat

6 Comments

Filed under Bad Behavior, Pets

Confessions of a Tupperware Closet Monster

Not our real drawer...just a sample. I cannot mortify Hubby by posting real pictures. That is just too humiliating.

Not our real drawer...just a sample. I cannot mortify Hubby by posting real pictures. That is just too humiliating.

So, out of my MANY, MANY, MANY WONDERFUL qualities, I do have one downfall. I suppose I can let you in on this little secret, but just know that it has been passed down many, many generations on my dad’s side. It is….wait for it…the curse of the tupperware closet monster.

The lore goes that somewhere deep inside me is a tupperware closet monster. How does it emerge, you might ask? Well, whenever one is unloading the dishwasher it comes time to put away the tupperware. I.HATE.PUTTING.AWAY.TUPPERWARE. This is when I am overcome. I fall into a trance and before I know it, I reawaken and all the tupperware is tossed put away.

I only recently realized it was hereditary when I caught Rae tossing putting away tupperware the same exact way. The monster was in her blood too!

NOTE: This is where I should mention that the tupperware closet is Hubby’s pride and joy. It is so cute how he likes to make sure each tupperware fits into another one, according to size. He then puts all the lids in similar size-arranged order. It is actually quite crazy, obsessive, psycho strange if you ask me, but it makes him happy. So who am I to judge?

But once I came into the picture, Hubby no longer knew the beauty and organization of the tupperware closet. Soon chaos hit the tupperware closet. Today, the tupperware closet is no longer organized into nice inner-fitting shapes, with matching lids. It no longer glistens in its’ organized crazy, psycho bliss. Now it is a closet nightmare: scary, messy and ready to fall out on anyone who dares open the door. Kinda like an avalanche building, bursting, and silently, but deadly awaiting Hubby, the unsuspecting prey.

This ONE downfall of mine does not make Hubby happy, in fact, he was so excited to show me his accomplishment today!

Hubby: Look Dear, I re-organized the tupperware closet! (He is BEAMING with pride here)

Me (feigning interest): Wow, Hubby, looks amazing. Really it does. Great job.

Fastforward to clean up time after dinner

Me (under my breath): Hmmmm well, that tupperware closet DID look good. ( I than quietly kick nudge the door shut and back away slowly)

10 Comments

Filed under Husbands, relationships

Homeward Bound?

home

These conversations come up all the time. And I would just like to say, Hubby is NO fun!

Me: Can I stay home from work tomorrow?

Hubby: Yes

Me: Can I stay home from work everyday?

Hubby: No

5 Comments

Filed under husband, Irrational

The Genius Pair and My Mean Sister

fighting-sisters

My sister, Free Sister is mean.

Here is what happened.

My dad was visiting from out of town and we had just driven into the driveway after having lunch, when my dad gets out of the car (mind you with they keys still running in the ignition).

Me: DAD! Did you mean to leave your keys in the car, with the engine running. (Senile, much? Sorry Dad)

Dad (incredulous): OH NO! Don’t shut your door! Whoa, good going! Glad I didn’t lock myself out of the car with the engine running because my spare set of keys are at home!

Me (knowing I had just SAVED the day): Yea, good thing, I noticed…I was thinking you must be crazy!

So, as I am getting out of the car, I realize that I may be senile too.

Me: OH NO!

Dad: What?

Me: I don’t have my house keys on me cause we took your car, and I just didn’t think about it!

Dad (chuckles): Oh no, what are we going to do?

I then call Sar and her Hubby, realizing they are both at work. CRAP! Then I call Rae, my mean sister, knowing the mere idea of getting in the car to come rescue me is the LAST thing she would ever want to do. She doesn’t like to help people because she is a PEOPLE HATER, she HATES everyone. (Whatcha gonna do Rae?)

Me: RAE! Where are you? I locked myself out of the house! And I need you to come home and let us in.

Rae: YOU STUPID SLUT! GUESS YOU ARE STUCK OUTSIDE!

Me: RAE! Get your sorry ass down here and let us in!

Rae: YOU ARE SO STUPID; I am NOT driving all that way!

Me: OH YES YOU ARE!

Well you get the gist of our fight over the phone. Anyways, she finally DID come home and let us in, but she did have the crazed psycho look in her eyes (you know, the one killers have–those of you that passed the serial killer test know what I mean).

sisters

Me: Thanks, Rae! You saved the day!

Rae: I HATE YOU!

Me: You are just the nicest sister ever.

Rae: I HATE people AND I am on my period.

And that my friends, is why you should stay away from the MEAN SISTER when she is on the rag. She is scary!

(Hopefully, I will be around to blog after this…if she doesn’t kill me, but that is why you don’t mess with a blog crazy sister–blog paybacks can get real nasty)

Love ya, Rae! 🙂

15 Comments

Filed under family, Sisters, Uncategorized

There’s No Place Like Home, right? RIGHT?

home

After all these NICE LOVE blogs I did for Hubby, THIS is the thanks I get. People, you have no idea what I put up with! 🙂

Texting

Me (he called earlier): Sorry been in meetings all day, hope you are having fun flying. Excited to have you home.

Hubby: Boarding for Cancun now…

NOTE: (That is NOT where we live….)

Me: I hate you!

5 Comments

Filed under Husbands

The Good Girl

cinderella6

Dear Hubby,

I have been such a good girl while you have been gone. I have done the dishes every night, although I guess that is easy when you eat cereal every night. I have not burned down the house. I have not thrown my computer on the floor when it froze up three times tonight ( I did pound on the keys a few times though, so it knew I was mad). I have even done some laundry. I have remembered to spray Patches’ foot with her medicine (now putting on the cone is another story). And most importantly, I only had a few boyfriends over, although when they wanted to play doctor, I said no. So, as you can tell, I am staying out of trouble. No need to worry. 🙂

PS. However, when you do come back ….good luck reclaiming your side of the bed. I sleep in the middle now, with Boston on one side and Patches on the other.

Love,

Your Favorite Wifey

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Filed under Husbands

Land mines, vacuuming, and checking your email…

poo

Me: Should we straighten the house?

Hubby: I guess so.

Me: Ok, I will do the cat litter and vacuum and you should really do Poop Patrol outside cause it looks like the backyard is full of poop, instead of dirt.

So, being the good Hubby that he is, goes out to clean up the land mines. Without even a complaint!

And that is when I get out the vacuum cleaner, plug it in and set it up in a room, so it can “appear” as though I am about to vacuum. Then I head straight for the office to play on the computer “AKA checking my email.”

I am so lost in the moment of “checking my email” that I didn’t hear Hubby come in.

Hubby (yelling): WHAT are YOU doing?!

As he brings me the bag of collected land mines and swings it in my face.

Me (guiltily): Checking my email. EWWWWW!

Hubby: That is not on the chore list, nor is it a chore!

Me: Of course it is, and I was just taking a “break” anyways.

Hubby: You are so lazy!

Hmmmm I prefer sneaky! 🙂

7 Comments

Filed under Home, humor

The Chronic Deleter

Ok, so I have another confession to make. I am ADDICTED to deleting. I can’t explain it, but I can admit to it. We have a DVR and I am OBSESSED with deleting. If the hubby isn’t home and hasn’t watched his recorded shows in a “timely” manner (yea, what I consider to be timely is usually a few hours…look I am confessing here….don’t judge) then I HAVE to delete them. I usually try not to tell him, but he usually notices. I really can’t help it, it is an addiction. I can’t explain the pleasure that runs through me as I am deleting something….be it in the DVR, my emails, my phone, you name it…if you can delete it I will. I think I might need to go to therapy for this……I even (sometimes) dream about deleting…I don’t know why. It makes me happy. Even my sister cannot get over my habit. The other day she told me I could delete her Dexter show cause she watched it at a friend’s house…then she changed her mind because she thought I would get “delete happy” and delete the wrong thing. Oh, she knows me too well. I would claim denial of course, but I am a bad liar and she knows it. Oh crap, do they have a deleter’s anonymous? I might need to attend and soon….before I delete this post.

3 Comments

Filed under Life

The Rules

Hubby and I are lying in bed reading. All of the sudden we hear the noise. The gagging, vomiting of Boston (cat) who previously just finished scarfing down his dry food. (I think he might be bulimic.) We stare at each other in disgust for a moment until I remember the GOLDEN RULE!

Me (proclaiming vehemently):  NOT  IT!

Hubby: What?! Why do I have to do it? I made lunches*!

Me: You know the rules! Whoever cries “not it” first doesn’t have to do it.

Me, Patches and Boston all stare while he (gaggingly) cleans it up.

Hubby: Enjoy the show?

And this, my friends, is why we should not ever have children! Because maturity was never one of my strong suits! J But, clearly, calling NOT IT is in the marriage rulebook—section, how to get out of gross things, right?

 

*Note: Lunches is a most hated task in our household, which whomever has the task can hold over the other in anticipation of getting out of any other hated task, however calling “NOT IT” trumps all—kinda like having a WILD card when playing UNO!

12 Comments

Filed under Home, humor

The Pursuit of Happiness

My hubby and I have just moved from the East coast to the West. We consider it more like trying to educate ourselves on different parts of the U.S., but since it happens every three years, maybe it is more like an itch…but one you can’t reach. You know what I mean, those hard to reach places where you just can’t get in and scratch…oh wait I digress.  Well, I suppose it is more like the three year itch, if that even exists. Does it count that the last three years were in pursuit of higher education in the hopes of landing the lifestyle of the rich and famous? Well, it hasn’t happened yet. In the meantime, we are transitioning to the West in stride.  

I work for a university and he has a job in technical theatre. We are settling in to a normal routine and we shall see what is in store for us next. Although I have a feeling that something is bound to happen because our lives are a little like Disneyland…painful at times, but the food is sure good! We shall see what  Adventure Land has in store for us.

2 Comments

Filed under Life