Tag Archives: humor

OMG….GROSS

He IS cute when he is asleep!

He IS cute when he is asleep!

I was puppysitting Cullen last night (he is aptly named after the vampires in Twilight). He runs at me with his mouth wide open: glistening, razor sharp puppy teeth bared for the kill….yea, you get the picture. Looks can be deceiving, people!

Don’t get me wrong, he is cute and all….but my arms look like I am trying to cut myself, but miss ALL.THE.TIME.

So, back to my OMG gross story. There I was minding my own business, playing with Cully as I call him, and what does he do? He takes a dump in the den. Never mind the fact that I had just taken him outside!

Anyways, I turn my back for ONE SECOND to grab the clean up materials….and low and behold the poop is mysteriously GONE! Where did it go?

Well, my little vampire friend decided to have a tasty snack.

poo1

GROSS.

Then my sister picked him up, and gave him kisses! 🙂

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Filed under Pets, puppies

My Most Prized Possession

So this past weekend, Honorary Brother in Law (HBIL), came in from Vancouver for a visit because it was his brothers’ and my sisters’, Middlechildadvice\’s Blog , birthday bash celebration. We had a great time celebrating everyone’s birthdays and hanging out with the various family members.

However, I was less than pleased to see HBIL because we weren’t really on speaking terms.

Why you ask?

Well, HBIL had the audacity to tell me that he went to a Britney Spear’s Concert and basically sat so close to the stage he could have touched her  (he is a closet Britney fan AND he works for the radio) and DID NOT TAKE ME! Then he puts all these amazing pictures up on his facebook page, just to rub it in my face. RUDE, right?

This is how close he was....

This is how close he was....

I love you Britney

I love you Britney

Me: I am not talking to you or listening to you on the radio anymore.

HBIL: I would have invited you, BUT I didn’t think you had a passport.

Me: I HAVE a passport.

HBIL (smiling craftily): Oh……well……. I did get you a present.

Me (clearly SUPER EXCITED): OMG, what is it? Did you get me her autograph?

HBIL: No better……..

Me: Well, what is it?

HBIL: (pulling out something slowly and dramatically on purpose)

 

ACTUAL confetti from Britney's concert!

ACTUAL confetti from Britney's concert!

Me: What is this?

HBIL: It is a piece of confetti from Britney’s concert, but not just ANY piece of confetti, this piece Britney actually LOOKED at…while it dropped from the sky and I grabbed one for you …knowing you would treasure it always!

And that dear readers, is why I am no longer mad at HBIL. For now.

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Filed under family

What the Easter Bunny brought my sister

My sister, Middlechildadvice\’s Blog, got a super special surprise in her Easter Basket this past weekend……

puppy

Pretty cute, right?

He is a little vampire though. I forgot how much puppies like to bite! My toes, hair, and fingers are all sore!

I puppysat on Sunday and I am still recovering from it all….

10 Comments

Filed under Pets

Hangin with the Bro-in-Law

tongu

So, the Brother in Law (BIL) and I went out last week to the movies (I Love You, Man) and then my favorite, drinks at Yardhouse. We had fun; basically we wanted my sister (who was on vacay in FL) to realize that WE can have fun without her!  It was my furlough day…which I am really starting to fully embrace.

Me: I LOVE furlough days!

Me (surprised): I had fun hanging with you…who knew we would have so much fun together!

BIL: I know! You aren’t so bad!

Me: What is THAT supposed to mean?

BIL: Uhhhhh….that didn’t come out right….

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Filed under family

Yes, I believe in the Easter Bunny

easter-basket

I love the Easter Bunny, and at our house he ALWAYS comes. (Albeit in the form of Hubby, but that is besides the point)

One of my most favorite things that Hubby does for me is that he makes a big deal out of the Holidays for me. I don’t know why, but I.LOVE.HOLIDAYS. LOVE EM. Especially when it comes to holidays where one “gets” things. Easter baskets are a favorite for me because you get chocolate and LOTS of it. And because you have to go look for your basket….I like a little bit of a challenge, however if Hubby hides the baskets too well….well then I get crabby when I can’t find mine fast enough.

So, this holiday, the sisters are demanding Easter baskets too….

Rae: You better make me an Easter basket!

Hubby: No, I don’t have too….

Rae: Yes you do! Please? I will do the dishes (this is clear desperation here, people!)

Later on Hubby calls me

Hubby: So, I (the Jew) have to make you and your sisters Easter Baskets? What is wrong with this picture? And depending WHO is the nicest determines the SIZE of their Easter basket!

Me: I get the BIGGEST one! And don’t forget to hide them in good places–but don’t make mine too hard!

Gotta love Easter time! Hope you all have a great one!

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Filed under holidays

My Inner Trucker Lady

alcohol_20071

So, it isn’t like I have a problem or anything, but I noticed that so far this entire week I have guzzled no, eh downed, no drank some sort of liquor beverage every night. Not that there is anything wrong with that, right?

I have determined that work causes me to drink. But, that is a different story for a different day. So, I come home after a hard day of work and Hubby pours me a nice glass of Crown and Coke. Yea, I am a whiskey, beer, wine, you name it, I will drink it gal. Judge away.

I think I am totally cool downing my whiskey, that is until I get a text from a friend.

Friend: You drunk yet?

Me: No, but I am drinking coke and Crown.

Friend: You are so classy.

Me: Don’t be jealous

But, I am right? I mean, I am classy and lady-like. That is why Hubby likes me, right? (BELCH).

Or is it cause he thinks he will get lucky?

P.S. Hubby oftens suffers from spouts of delusion, especially when I have a drink in hand. (BRRPPP)

6 Comments

Filed under Delusions of a Husband

Strange Phenomenons

dog2

Is it strange that for the second morning in a row, I woke up on the floor next to the bed? How did I get there? I don’t remember it. Meanwhile, looked up to find Patches, the dog with her head on my pillows, snoring, and sprawled out like a person on MY side of the bed. Then, under further examination, I find Hubby snuggling up to her, with his arm around her belly.

Clearly, I have been replaced by the dog. I think this is a conspiracy. I think I have been ousted. Evil BED HOG. How is she doing this? And HOW does Hubby not realize that he is snuggling up to a big, hairy beast?

I am not big or hairy …..nor a beast. At least I don’t think.

Stupid Bed Hog.

I think it is time for a bigger bed. Or maybe I should just get my OWN bed. Yea, I like that idea better. 🙂

13 Comments

Filed under Pets