Tag Archives: irony

Hard Realizations

      Did you know my name means wealthy? Yea, not happening…..money2

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Filed under growing up, Life

Please Explain….

How come we can get any other type of bill, magazine, or begging letter for donations from Yale, but for some reason our W-2’s can’t seem to make their way out to us?

And when Hubby calls them we get these types of conversations:

Yale Accounts Payable (AP) Person: How can I help you?

Hubby: We haven’t received our W-2’s yet, can you tell us if you have the correct address?

AP Yale Person: Hmmm uh looks like the only address we have is for Hamden, CT.

Hubby(incredulous since we have only changed or address with them a MILLION times, but who’s counting): But we haven’t lived there for 2 years!

Note: We lived our last year in CT in Branford, CT.

AP Yale Person: Hmmm well, guess we can send them out to you guys.

Hubby: Yea, that’d be great!

Two weeks and counting and they still aren’t here…..but we did receive some lovely magazines….all addressed to our current address, as well as numerous “please give us money” letters. Hmmmm how very strange, very strange indeed.

random-002

4 Comments

Filed under humor, yale

Dear Hubby

I am not being good.

Just thought you should know.

P.S. You DON’T have to call everyday…especially at night….you are making my boyfriends feel awkward when you call so much to check up on me.

badwife

5 Comments

Filed under Love, marriage

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder–NOT

hearts

More of your FAVORITE conversations.  Hubby got a call yesterday to go do some work at a casino out in New Mexico.

Hubby: So, by the time you come home tomorrow, I will be gone.

Me (probably a little TOO excitedly): WOO HOO. How long will you be gone for?

Hubby (rolling his eyes): Only one night. I will be back Wednesday, probably around the time you get home.

Me: Oh, that is NOT long enough! Can’t you stay longer?

Hubby: No, you would be too lonely without me.

Me (dreams of having the bed to myself are quickly dispersed): silence

5 Comments

Filed under Love

Survival of the Wittiest….or something like that.

cats2

The season finale version of America’s Next Top Blogger is brought to you by a fellow blogger, who just might be my twin sister. Well you know how they always say there is a twin out there of you….I think I found my writing twin….the brit, the american and the rest of australia 

the american would like to know about etiquette:

 

1.       If you bump into someone, say a colleague, and they say “hi, how was your weekend/how are you?” is it rude to just say “hi. fine.” and not ask how their weekend was? i do it all the time but feel like an asshole. but really i don’t care.

2.      If you sit across from someone who has hayfever and is sneezing all day, do you have say “Gezhundeit/bless you” every time or can you just say it once and leave it that without explaining yourself?

3.      If someone kind of smelly sits next to you on the bus/tram/train/waiting room (but they’re not homeless or anything. it’s just been a hot day and they’re wearing a suit), is it rude to get up and sit someplace else? i did that the other day and got the look of death. wha…?

4.      When we get cupcakes catered in for someone’s birthday the office, is it rude to skip the “happy birthday” speech in the beginning and just show up late, grab a cupcake and run back to you desk?

Whew, you definitely have some interesting questions. And I have some answers.

I will let you in on a little secret.

What I say and what I am thinking, especially at work, usually don’t coincide, but that is because I am surrounded by crazies, so I see it more like survival of the wittiest, only under my breath. I know, if ONLY I really could say what I was thinking all the time. But, alas, the world doesn’t work that way.

My advice:  answer these questions really, really honestly and people will stop asking you questions and just avoid you, which is the ultimate goal, right? So, I will now attempt to answer your questions

Sure, I may sound a little nuts, but who isn’t these days?

Here are the answers I would give to your questions:

1.      My weekend was horrible, I spent the whole weekend in the toilet and had explosive squirts. I think I might still have them. OOOOOO I just felt something gotta run, bye!  (See this way, you answered, and left just as quickly…)

2.      Well, being that I was just sick and attempting to spread my germs in mass destruction, I would instead say: Are you trying to get me sick? Why don’t you just go home? I am allergic to sick people. Then start scratching yourself and rubbing your eyes. If this doesn’t work, at least you can tell your boss about your “allergies” and go home anyways.

3.      I would most definitely move seats! Only I would say…sorry, I haven’t showered in days and I don’t think anyone should be subjected to my stench. Plus, I just ate a bean burrito from Taco Bell and it isn’t sitting so well…..

4.      My suggestion….go before anyone gets there…eat all the cupcakes and then show up and ask where they all are, but make sure to leave a little frosting on your lips!

So, that is my definition for etiquette. Do we share the same brain?

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Filed under America's Next Top Blogger, blogging, Challenges

The Worst Week Ever…

frazzled_cat

It’s just been one of those weeks and I am just happy to put it behind me.

Here are the highlights:

1.  Had to say no to Jury Duty selection in fear that I would be homeless on the 12 dollars a day Jury pay.

2.  My car is broken, ok really just my sunglass holder in my car is broken, but still I loved that sunglass holder!

3.  Found out we are poor, ok I already knew this, but it hit me hard this week, AND I STILL HAVEN’T WON THE LOTTERY YET

4.  Didn’t win the lottery…oh do I need to buy a ticket to win?

5.  Cut the back of my leg while shaving.

6.  Got to enter meaningless data into a calendar at work.

7.  Didn’t get to use my brain this week….

8.  Drank half of our liquor….uh oh!

9.  Had people at work rub it in that I didn’t know THAT company policy is to pay you if you get selected for Jury Duty…didn’t I read the HR POLICIES? (sending rays of hate their way)

10.  Got to sit in two 2 hour meetings this week, and wondered what am I doing with my life?

11. Broke a small compact mirror in the morning, while half-asleep. Seven years of bad luck coming my way…

12. Accidentally deleted one of my shows in the DVR because I got “delete happy.”

Well, I am sure there is more….but thankfully, we are on to another week…which I am hoping will be much better than this week was!

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Filed under Life

Love letters

love-letter

Hubby: You are so mean…writing hate blogs to me.

Me: That was my form of a love letter to you.

Hubby: Your love letters suck! Didn’t you get that love letter I put in your lunch earlier this week. (He really did put a love letter in my lunch)

Me: Yea, I did, but that was only cause we were in a fight….

Hubby: Silence (cause he knows it is true)

I am thinking I could write a nice blog about him….but I am going to have to think hard on this one….bear with me and check back tomorrow….or the next day. We shall see what I can come up with, so I can get a good Christmas present! 🙂

4 Comments

Filed under husband