Tag Archives: marriage humor

Marriage Myths DEBUNKED

marriage

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I thought I would submit this post. Just keeping it real! 🙂

 

Myth #1: When you get married, you wear lingerie to bed every night.

ANSWER: FICTION- Mostly you wear your old, torn up tee-shirts, ratty shorts and your granny panties.

Myth #2: When you are married, you moisturize and shave your legs every night.

ANSWER: HA HA, do I really need to answer this? FICTION

Myth #3: You fall asleep in each other’s arms every night.

ANSWER: DEPENDS-on if you want to be hit in the middle of the night…Hubby is a bit of a hitter in his sleep.

Myth #4: The wifey presses, folds, and irons the Hubby’s clothes every night before bed.

ANSWER: FICTION-unless you want your clothes burned.

Myth#5: Married life is all flowers, white picket fences, and fancy dinners.

ANSWER: DEPENDS-At times it is, but it takes a lot of work and a lot of money! Neither of which we have accomplished as of yet.

Myth#6: Marry your best friend.

ANSWER: FACT-However, you don’t have to be BFF’s all the time, but be willing to be there for each other–that’s what counts!

Myth#7: Hubbys’ will pretend they hate it, but they really do like The Hills, The Bachelor, Ghost Whisperer and other girlie shows/chick flicks.

ANSWER: FACT-However, they will deny it and just feign that they want to spend time with you, when in fact they ARE interested in anything chick like, but would rather die than admit it.

Myth#8: Hubbys’ require “man caves” (AKA-basement or garage) to feel more “manly”

ANSWER: FACT-They need to do this to recover from things that are girlie (tv shows and such) and bang around on their tools….somehow, it does make them feel more manly….don’t know why.

Myth#9: If you are married and the wife, you should prance around in the kitchen in nothing but your heels and apron, while making your Hubby dinner.

ANSWER: FICTION-Hi, have you MET me? Obviously, this was a freebie.

Myth#10: When you get married, you have long nights of passion and romance.

ANSWER: This can only be explaned via the following conversation:

Hubby: Hey baby!

Me: MMM I am sleepy.

Hubby: But you just showered and shaved your legs….

Me: I am saving it for marriage…

Hubby: You ARE married..to me!

Me: The sheets are clean….

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The Rules Continued

litter-cats1

We all were sitting around talking when I smelled it….sniff, sniff….the foul smell of dirty cat litter came wafting through my nose. YUCK. I can’t explain it, but there is something about this smell that just makes me want to gag. And I have smelled a lot of foul smells (namely the ones that come out of the bathroom after Hubby has been in there—but that is another blog), but nothing compares to dirty cat litter. We have two cats and a really cool Kitty Hut, which Hubby built for the cats with a ledge for them to step on ( see pic below).  So, usually the smells are enclosed. But the other night….whooo the smell was bad.

Me (screaming excitedly): NOT IT! NOT IT! NOT IT!

Hubby: What are you even talking about? You are crazy!

Me: The cat litter, I don’t want to clean it…you have too! I said NOT it…you know, it is in the rules! Remember, last one to call it has to clean up? (I shouldn’t have to remind him…he knows THE RULES).

Hubby (rolling his eyes): That doesn’t count! It only counts on cat vomit. (See Previous Post: https://goodbadandugly2.wordpress.com/2008/10/22/the-rules/)

Me: No it does not! It counts on everything.

Obviously, Hubby and I need to go back to the marriage contract, where I can SHOW him…he will need to re-read the fine print and the NOT IT RULE. There are no surprises, he knows the rules, I mean geez we have been married for a long time now…he was just jealous that he didn’t remember to proclaim them first! Rules are rules—and I am sticking to them. NOT IT, Hubby! NOT IT, NOT IT, NOT IT!

Isn’t he lucky to have me? I think so!

Below is Kitty Hut…in all it’s glory….

iphone-pics-028

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