Tag Archives: routines

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Morning

bad-day

I am having the WORST morning that ever existed. Truly. Also part of last night. Let’s start from the top.

Strike 1

Upon arriving home last night from drinking, I was too tired to eat what the Hostage had prepared (I had already eaten, anyways, but that doesn’t matter). I immediately decided I would go to bed SINCE I had been at work for 12. 5 hours (doesn’t matter if I didn’t work the whole time) AND had been up since 3:30 (ungodly). So, there I am, starting to count sheep drifting off to lullaby land when our house phone starts ringing, jolting me out of my bliss. NOT.PRETTY.

It was Hubby, but for some reason the phones weren’t working or something (I have no idea) so he literally called the house about 5 times, everytime, I was nearly asleep. I.wanted.to.kill.him.

Strike 2

I wake up from nightmares at 1am. Not going into detail here because my sister will try and analyze them and they were just NOT.PRETTY. Don’t know why this happened, they were more like comedic, twisted nightmares—all the detail I care to share right now as they still scare me. Really hard to fall back asleep.

Strike 3

!&###! The alarm clock goes of at 3:30AM because I forgot to turn it off yesterday, thus again waking my peaceful sleep. !&###! Not Pretty.

Strike 4

I can’t find Americus, the evil alarm clock cat. Did I see her this morning when I fed her? I can’t even remember. I fed the pets, that part I remember, but that is about it. Feedings in the morning are done in a zombie-like daze. Panic sets in. Did I leave her outside (they get supervised outside time)? Did I shut her in somewhere (I have a tendency to shut her in closets…not on purpose)? Is she in with Rae?

I then spend 27 minutes looking for her, making me late for my workout routine. Still can’t find her. Need to leave. UGH.

Strike 5

The Hostage and Rae have made dishes (from last night) as high as the sky AND left their messes everywhere. This throws me into a crazy, psycho clean freak mode. I can’t deal with messes. All I am saying is, make as many messes as you want, but clean them up, please. I am sure they will clean it up today, but that made the bad witch come out this morning.

Strike 6

I didn’t get to take a shower, so I stink. I was too lazy to take one last night and I assumed I would take one at work, but now I just don’t care. But, my feet are black. Gross.

Strike 7 

The stupid hair straightner that I was going to attempt to use, IF I had taken a shower this morning (cleanliness is overrated), is broken. I thought it was just the outlets, but after plugging it into like 10 outlets around the house, I determined it is broken. Yea, I AM that slow in the mornings.

Strike 8

I am forfeitting my morning workout (gasp) in order to write this blog and because I was late getting to work AND because I fear with the way this morning is going, I will probably just end up breaking something…which might not be a bad thing? This is the first day I have missed in 2 weeks. I feel guilty.

Strike 9

I banged my knee hard on my desk this morning. Please don’t ask me how, I am known for my klutziness. I think my desk bit me, actually.

Strike 10

Hasn’t happened yet, but if it does….I am packing everything up and going home.

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15 Comments

Filed under Life

Cheaters Always Prosper

sneaky

Lesson of the day: Never underestimate me because I am THAT good. 

I have just gotten out of bed, despite the fact that the pets have been at me for hours trying to wake me up to feed them—-banging my head, meowing, doing my hair, pawing at the blinds, whining, crying, vomiting, you name it they did it. But, I have not moved, not even flinched in fear of them seeing any sign of movement. It is better they think I am still asleep, so they can move on to torment someone ELSE.

Eventually, Hubby finally gets his sorry you know what out of bed to feed them, after I literally push him out of bed. I mean, it is ME who feeds them all week long, it won’t kill him to do weekend detail.

After he comes back to bed, and I get up, he sidesteps the vomit and snidely says:

Hubby: NOT IT!

Me: Doesn’t count!

Hubby: Yes it does!

Me: Nope, I called sometime around 4:30ish AM, not my fault you didn’t hear it. So, you already lost your chance.

Beat that!

Hubby: It doesn’t count if I don’t hear it.

Me: Yes it does…because you were right by me…you just CHOSE not hear me. IT COUNTS!

UPDATE: Rae heard me call NOT IT at 4:30. I WIN.

3 Comments

Filed under NOT IT rules, Pets

Routines

Adorable, right? They are only cute when they are sleeping...

Adorable, right? They are only cute when they are sleeping...

I am all about being pround of myself for getting up at 4:30 during the weekdays for my routine of going to work early and working out.

However, I am NOT ok with the EVIL PETS  continuing the routine on the weekends. Waking me up at 4:30 on the weekends is NOT OK. Please, demons, just let me sleep in one day this week! That is all I ask.

It’s obviously a mutiny. And I am obviously NOT going to win. I am just trying to figure out, how to survive without killing them, mostly Americus. She is the Devil himself, reincarnated.

Going back to bed now.

5 Comments

Filed under Pets

Regrets…

regret

Me: HMPH. (Sighing heavily)

Hubby: What’s a matter?

Me: I could have been a juror on a murder trial! Instead, I am going back to my job tomorrow to do boring things…I won’t even use my brain…like I could have, had I been on a murder trial.

Hubby: Sorry, Dear.

Me: Glad I got my MBA….remind me, why I did that? I could have been learning all about murder…what to do and what not to do…so that I could plot your demise! Just like on my favorite show, Snapped! http://www.oxygen.com/tvshows/snapped/about.aspx

But, alas, it will be back to the boring routine for me…hmph!

12 Comments

Filed under conflict, Jury Duty, work