Lesson of the day: Never underestimate me because I am THAT good.
I have just gotten out of bed, despite the fact that the pets have been at me for hours trying to wake me up to feed them—-banging my head, meowing, doing my hair, pawing at the blinds, whining, crying, vomiting, you name it they did it. But, I have not moved, not even flinched in fear of them seeing any sign of movement. It is better they think I am still asleep, so they can move on to torment someone ELSE.
Eventually, Hubby finally gets his sorry you know what out of bed to feed them, after I literally push him out of bed. I mean, it is ME who feeds them all week long, it won’t kill him to do weekend detail.
After he comes back to bed, and I get up, he sidesteps the vomit and snidely says:
Hubby: NOT IT!
Me: Doesn’t count!
Hubby: Yes it does!
Me: Nope, I called sometime around 4:30ish AM, not my fault you didn’t hear it. So, you already lost your chance.
Hubby: It doesn’t count if I don’t hear it.
Me: Yes it does…because you were right by me…you just CHOSE not hear me. IT COUNTS!
UPDATE: Rae heard me call NOT IT at 4:30. I WIN.
Adorable, right? They are only cute when they are sleeping...
I am all about being pround of myself for getting up at 4:30 during the weekdays for my routine of going to work early and working out.
However, I am NOT ok with the EVIL PETS continuing the routine on the weekends. Waking me up at 4:30 on the weekends is NOT OK. Please, demons, just let me sleep in one day this week! That is all I ask.
It’s obviously a mutiny. And I am obviously NOT going to win. I am just trying to figure out, how to survive without killing them, mostly Americus. She is the Devil himself, reincarnated.
Going back to bed now.
1. I am so busy thinking of reasons to call in sick, I forgot my lunch.
2. Can’t sleep in
3. Time to go back to work and the people you can’t stand to see all week are in your face.
4. There are 4 more days before I can sleep in again
5. Monday meetings….my brain is barely functioning
6. Mondays equal the worst traffic days…it’s like everyone and their mother is on the road on purpose, going under the speed limit or braking every 2 seconds for nothing
7. It is the longest day of the week….I swear I have already checked the time 10 times and I think it has barely moved 5 minutes
8. Happy morning people…enough said
9. Catching up on my email
Filed under Irrational, work
The pets are evil. I don’t know what their deal is….but the one time we can sleep in is on the weekends they REFUSE to let us. I think they are a tagteam. I can actually hear their conversations:
Americus (the LOUDEST, MEOWING cat you will ever meet): Ok, everyone here is the plan. I will go into the room and start meowing at 4 AM. Just to get it started. If either of you see any movement…and I MEAN ANY then pounce, whine, do whatever you have to do to get them up.
Boston (the stand on you so you can’t breathe cat and licker of eyelids): Ok, but if that doesn’t work then I will chase you around the house, Americus and pounce on you until you scream…thus causing Patches to bark and go crazy and wake the whole house up!
Patches (the dog and eternal whiner): Sounds good, but if either of those don’t work I will just whine and whine and whine you know Mommy can’t stand that! Or maybe I will poke her with my long nose.
Time: Early in the morning…still dark outside. Probably 4am.
Me: Awake now ……..guess where all the pets are…..oh yea, they are all asleep right here beside me as I type! EVIL Tagteam!