Tag Archives: weird

The “B” Word

babies

Ok, so I have another confession: I dislike babies.

I don’t understand them and I don’t like them. I recently found my long, lost twin sister in blog land, (ok she isn’t my real twin sister, but it seems like IF I met her, she and I would hit it off immediately) her recent blog:  baby talk (conversations with my mother). sums up my feelings on this topic EXACTLY.

It isn’t that I HATE them, it is just that I don’t understand them and everyone’s obsession with it being “my turn.” NO PEOPLE. I do not want to spawn offspring. I know they will be of the devil. I was a demon child, and I know that if I were to have a child, mine would be a thousand times as horrid as I was. No.thank.you. I don’t mind kids once they are 5-6 years old because at least then they can tell you what they want, and they go to school, but babies, all they do is eat, sleep and poop and quite frankly that is my sole ambition in life, so the competion in itself would kill me.

And who needs that kind of competition anyways? Not me.

Advertisements

13 Comments

Filed under fears

The Tear in Time (AKA Groundhog Day)

clock

So, Friday morning was the worst.morning.ever. Here’s what happened.

Thursday night my sisters and I hung out. It was a fun night, however Rae was supposed to go with Sar to pick up some pizza and movies, but instead she made me go. This started the downward spiral in events.

Sar: Where’s your keys? You need to lock the front door.

Me: No I don’t; Rae is there.

Sar: GO GET YOUR KEYS AND LOCK THE DOOR!

Me: EH, fine. (Got the keys, locked the door)

Once we got back to the house, I had Sar grab my keys and unlock the front door, since my hands were clearly full with pizza and movies. And that was the end of a fun night of pizza and hanging out.

Now, fastforward Friday morning at aproximately 6:30 am.

I am almost out the door headed to work. Saying bye to the pets, and grabbing the keys. WAIT! WHERE ARE MY KEYS? Panic sets in. Then I remember Sar had them last, so I call her thinking she must have put them somewhere in the house. SOMEWHERE.

I call Sar. NO ANSWER. Great.

I call again. This time she answers.

Me: WHERE ARE MY KEYS.

Sar: How should I know what you do with your keys?

Me: Because you had them last! Remember you used them to open the door last night?!

Sar: Oh yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh. Hmmm I am driving, but they “might” be in my purse.

Me: OH MY GOSH. Well you need to come back here then.

Sar: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I am halfway to work. (she works really far away)

Me: I have no choice. I could take Hubby’s car, but I still need all my work stuff and gate pass that is in MY car that is locked in the garage. OMG, I CANNOT believe you stole my keys!

So, after much bickering back and forth, she drives back and gives me my keys. Two hours later she is still driving to work…..texting me, telling me she hates me. But, WHO was the stupid one that put MY keys in her purse?

And after placing much blame on each other for the rest of the day, we discovered that ultimately it was Rae’s fault for not going with Sar in the first place. Because of that one decision, on Rae’s part, it caused a “tear in the universe” according to Sar, setting everything to be out of order and ass backwards for the rest of the day. Much like the movie Groundhog Day.

Moral of Story: Don’t ever let Sar near your keys. EVER. Or it could result in a tear in your universe ,as you know it, and you might end up  forever stuck in Groundhog Day.

5 Comments

Filed under Crazies, Sisters

The Unlikely Pet

widow4

I know my sisters are weird, but this takes the cake. Sorry, Sar, the blog isn’t about you today. I know, I know, watch my ratings drop….

So, Rae has been missing her cat a lot—who is at home in Havasu. She has adopted a new pet. Her name is Charlotte. I will let you guess what she is: She weaves webs. Yes, she is a spider. But, not just any spider, she is a black widow spider we found in the garage. I think Rae goes out to the garage to talk with her and I think Charlotte gives her advice. She says she can relate to her.

I guess Rae is waiting for her boyfriend to become her husband because then she can eat him. Sorry, Ren…I guess that is how she relates.

Maybe every girl should have a pet widow? I am sure the advice is to die for!

3 Comments

Filed under Pets