Confessions of a Tupperware Closet Monster

Not our real drawer...just a sample. I cannot mortify Hubby by posting real pictures. That is just too humiliating.

So, out of my MANY, MANY, MANY WONDERFUL qualities, I do have one downfall. I suppose I can let you in on this little secret, but just know that it has been passed down many, many generations on my dad’s side. It is….wait for it…the curse of the tupperware closet monster.

The lore goes that somewhere deep inside me is a tupperware closet monster. How does it emerge, you might ask? Well, whenever one is unloading the dishwasher it comes time to put away the tupperware. I.HATE.PUTTING.AWAY.TUPPERWARE. This is when I am overcome. I fall into a trance and before I know it, I reawaken and all the tupperware is tossed put away.

I only recently realized it was hereditary when I caught Rae tossing putting away tupperware the same exact way. The monster was in her blood too!

NOTE: This is where I should mention that the tupperware closet is Hubby’s pride and joy. It is so cute how he likes to make sure each tupperware fits into another one, according to size. He then puts all the lids in similar size-arranged order. It is actually quite crazy, obsessive, psycho strange if you ask me, but it makes him happy. So who am I to judge?

But once I came into the picture, Hubby no longer knew the beauty and organization of the tupperware closet. Soon chaos hit the tupperware closet. Today, the tupperware closet is no longer organized into nice inner-fitting shapes, with matching lids. It no longer glistens in its’ organized crazy, psycho bliss. Now it is a closet nightmare: scary, messy and ready to fall out on anyone who dares open the door. Kinda like an avalanche building, bursting, and silently, but deadly awaiting Hubby, the unsuspecting prey.

This ONE downfall of mine does not make Hubby happy, in fact, he was so excited to show me his accomplishment today!

Hubby: Look Dear, I re-organized the tupperware closet! (He is BEAMING with pride here)

Me (feigning interest): Wow, Hubby, looks amazing. Really it does. Great job.

Fastforward to clean up time after dinner

Me (under my breath): Hmmmm well, that tupperware closet DID look good. ( I than quietly kick nudge the door shut and back away slowly)

Morning NOISE

Lately, Hubby has been getting up really, really, really early to go to work. And we have already established that I AM NOT a morning person…so to be disturbed in my sleep is like waking up a bear from his hibernation. NOT.PRETTY. Of course, Hubby doesn’t think he is being that loud, but to me…sounds like FIREWORKS and MARCHING BANDS are going off in the morning as he slams around in the bathroom, taps his toothbrush, and shuffles about our room. Basically, I am about ready to KILL him. Again, I am just not rational in the morning.

So, sometimes we talk about this at night. I guess, I am hoping maybe he will be quieter or maybe he will realize how annoying he is in the WEE HOURS OF THE A.M. Although I am convinced he makes the morning bangs on PURPOSE because he doesn’t want me to sleep in any longer than he does, but he denies this. LIAR!

Me: In the morning, in my semi-state of consciousness, I dream that I am killing you with each bang you make. You know, like stabbing you like this….(violent stabbing motions are being made)

Hubby (rolling his eyes): I am SO quiet in the morning!

Me: ARE NOT!

Hubby: Waaaaaaaay quieter than you are.

Me: Probably true, but you are still not THAT quiet.

Hubby: I even lay out my clothes the night before, so I don’t make the drawers creek!

Me: You still bang around on purpose to wake me up!

Hubby: And you don’t EVER make noise!

Me: That’s right. That is because I am perfect! J