The Battle Continues…

Score:

Pets: 3     Me: 1 (chased them all, while wildly flailing my arms)

4 AM Wakeup Call

4:00 AM wakeup call on my furlough day. NOT COOL.

MEOW!   MEOW!   MEOW!

Americus started the ruckus by swinging at the blinds in our room, over my head. I tried not to move. Any signs of movement….and they will pounce, if they notice. I believe the cats sit up on on their hind legs, extend a paw, slash the blinds and stare at my head….waiting for signs of movement. If they see that their efforts are in vain, then they begin phase 2: stomach walking (crushing) and licking of eyelids–that usually does the trick, movement is unavoidable. Trust me on this one, sandpaper tongue on your eyelids isn’t the best feeling.

It is SO on……

Demons.

Score:

Pets: 2    Me: 0

Why don’t they do this when Hubby is here?

When Hubby is Away the Cat will Play….

So, Hubby is out and about again on some consulting work. It is quite exciting really, because I get the bed to myself for 2 weeks. However, I will miss annoying him.  The truth is, I already (kind of) miss him…but don’t tell him that!

Whenever Hubby goes out of town, the pets always tend to act up a little. For instance, after getting up at 4:30AM to take Hubby to the airport, I decided to let Patches out quick to go potty and then my plan was to go straight back to bed. However, Americus, had other plans. There I was opening the door for Patches to come back in (just a crack mind you). When out runs Americus.

!!$(*#$(#*#

Me: Americus get back in here!

So, I run out after her, inadvertantly shutting the door behind me, which I had conviently locked. (Not genius material, people)

So there I am outside, locked out, with Americus staring up at me. I wanted to strangle her.

Eventually, I broke in through an open window. However, this is strike one against her. It’s like she KNOWS Hubby is away and figures it is her job to keep me entertained….nice right?

Score:

Pets: 1             Me: 0

OMG….GROSS

He IS cute when he is asleep!

I was puppysitting Cullen last night (he is aptly named after the vampires in Twilight). He runs at me with his mouth wide open: glistening, razor sharp puppy teeth bared for the kill….yea, you get the picture. Looks can be deceiving, people!

Don’t get me wrong, he is cute and all….but my arms look like I am trying to cut myself, but miss ALL.THE.TIME.

So, back to my OMG gross story. There I was minding my own business, playing with Cully as I call him, and what does he do? He takes a dump in the den. Never mind the fact that I had just taken him outside!

Anyways, I turn my back for ONE SECOND to grab the clean up materials….and low and behold the poop is mysteriously GONE! Where did it go?

Well, my little vampire friend decided to have a tasty snack.

GROSS.

Then my sister picked him up, and gave him kisses! 🙂

What the Easter Bunny brought my sister

My sister, Middlechildadvice\’s Blog, got a super special surprise in her Easter Basket this past weekend……

Pretty cute, right?

He is a little vampire though. I forgot how much puppies like to bite! My toes, hair, and fingers are all sore!

I puppysat on Sunday and I am still recovering from it all….

Strange Phenomenons

Is it strange that for the second morning in a row, I woke up on the floor next to the bed? How did I get there? I don’t remember it. Meanwhile, looked up to find Patches, the dog with her head on my pillows, snoring, and sprawled out like a person on MY side of the bed. Then, under further examination, I find Hubby snuggling up to her, with his arm around her belly.

Clearly, I have been replaced by the dog. I think this is a conspiracy. I think I have been ousted. Evil BED HOG. How is she doing this? And HOW does Hubby not realize that he is snuggling up to a big, hairy beast?

I am not big or hairy …..nor a beast. At least I don’t think.

Stupid Bed Hog.

I think it is time for a bigger bed. Or maybe I should just get my OWN bed. Yea, I like that idea better. 🙂

Some Serious News

Well, things haven’t been getting much better since yesterday.

Americus, our alarm clock cat, is sick. It was weird because one minute she was fine, and the next she wasn’t eating or drinking and having bathroom problems, as well as extensive vomiting. I spent most of the night looking after her. Was pretty freaked out. Still am.

She is only 9, and we took her to the vet this morning. Of course, this isn’t any easier because Hubby isn’t here.

The vet has put her on some meds, but was alarmed by a high ALT level. This means she has enzymes leaking from her liver into her blood, which, from what I understand, could lead to liver failure. They gave her a hydration treatement and are hoping the medications will help before they determine any next steps.

I guess what is surprising to me, is that she wasn’t sick one day ago. She was acting normal…wake up calls and all.

I am hoping everything will be ok.

Cheaters Always Prosper

Lesson of the day: Never underestimate me because I am THAT good. 

I have just gotten out of bed, despite the fact that the pets have been at me for hours trying to wake me up to feed them—-banging my head, meowing, doing my hair, pawing at the blinds, whining, crying, vomiting, you name it they did it. But, I have not moved, not even flinched in fear of them seeing any sign of movement. It is better they think I am still asleep, so they can move on to torment someone ELSE.

Eventually, Hubby finally gets his sorry you know what out of bed to feed them, after I literally push him out of bed. I mean, it is ME who feeds them all week long, it won’t kill him to do weekend detail.

After he comes back to bed, and I get up, he sidesteps the vomit and snidely says:

Hubby: NOT IT!

Me: Doesn’t count!

Hubby: Yes it does!

Me: Nope, I called sometime around 4:30ish AM, not my fault you didn’t hear it. So, you already lost your chance.

Beat that!

Hubby: It doesn’t count if I don’t hear it.

Me: Yes it does…because you were right by me…you just CHOSE not hear me. IT COUNTS!

UPDATE: Rae heard me call NOT IT at 4:30. I WIN.

Routines

Adorable, right? They are only cute when they are sleeping...

I am all about being pround of myself for getting up at 4:30 during the weekdays for my routine of going to work early and working out.

However, I am NOT ok with the EVIL PETS  continuing the routine on the weekends. Waking me up at 4:30 on the weekends is NOT OK. Please, demons, just let me sleep in one day this week! That is all I ask.

It’s obviously a mutiny. And I am obviously NOT going to win. I am just trying to figure out, how to survive without killing them, mostly Americus. She is the Devil himself, reincarnated.

Going back to bed now.

Evil Dynamic Duos and Dinner

mmmm Arbys!

Dear Hubby,

Since you are not here to feed me, I must fend for myself (scary thought). We are running out of cereal, so there are not a lot of choices. After last nights’ pasta fiasco, I wasn’t even about to attempt making dinner. So, I stopped at Arby’s on the way home. Nothing like a roast beef sandwich to end off the day and the pets couldn’t have agreed more with this. 

MMM give me that Arbys! Or I will eat you!

Here are your evil fur children, accosting me throughout the whole dinner, and at one point I thought Boston might maim me for my roast beef sandwich. I think it is time for a pub style table ASAP! 

I am so cute...GIVE me your Arbys!

HEY! I am right HERE! Hand over the roast beef.

So, being the amazing mother I am: I gave some roast beef to the evil dynamic duo in fear of my life. And then Boston almost ate my finger off.

MUST EAT ROAST BEEF...MUST EAT ROAST BEEF...