Girls Rule….

If only Hubby would realize, that we (girls) are by far the superior sex….but no, for some reason boys have to learn the hard way, I guess.

Question is: will they EVER learn?

I will never…

Something you should NEVER do as a NEWLYWED, courtesy of my sister and her husband:

1. Never Bribe your Husband a week’s worth of “favors” to get him to do the yardwork because he just MIGHT actually DO THAT yardwork, right Sis?

How’s that yard coming? 🙂

Keeping the Spark Alive

This is SO me. Poor, poor Hubby! Actually, poor, poor anyone who likes to hang out with me! 🙂

Love is patient…

The daily check in from the Hubby.

Me: How’s it going?

Hubby: My arm is about to fall off from scraping off the popcorn ceilings.

Me: That is sad; you will look funny with only one arm.

Hubby: Won’t you still love me? I would still love you with only one arm.

Me: Well, no. I wouldn’t, but that is the difference between me and you.

Disturbia

Hubby calls me this morning to check in.

Hubby: Did you put on Patches headcone?

Me: No

Hubby: WHY NOT?

Me: Rae is gonna…..when she leaves. It is her job to be the bad Aunt.

Hubby: I’m watching you…..the cameras are rolling. You better behave yourself.

Me: Does that mean my boyfriends can’t come over tonight?

Confessions of A (Bed) Side Stealer

Every morning when Hubby gets up to feed the obnoxious pets, I roll over and steal his side because it is warm and I like to spread out. This morning I thought I would be an amazing, nice, wonderful wifey and feed the pets for him, so he could stay in bed, even though it is a “boy’s” job to feed the pets. (Yea, so I have already failed my resolutions…I knew I would…that is why I said they are more like attempts).

So, I did it and what do I find when I come back to the bed? But, Hubby on MY SIDE! I try and push and shove him to no avail.

Hubby:  MMMM NO! This time I am STEALING your side!

Me: FINE! That is the last time I will be a nice wifey and feed the pets! (I then crawl back into bed on the wrong side)

Hubby then tries to snuggle.

Me: Don’t touch me!

Hubby: I love you.

Me: I hate you, you sides stealer!

Hubby: So this is love!

Are we really THAT old?

I should preface this post with the fact that I USED to LOVE going to the movie theatre and thought I still did until last night. Last night we saw Marley and Me, which was a good movie and I was just excited to be going to see a movie, since it is not a frequent thing for us.

It was our first “movie night” in awhile and I decided at 9pm that I wanted to go see it. (Mind you the movie started at 9:20pm.) But there is nothing like the spur of the moment…makes things exciting, much to Hubby’s chagrin. Especially when I dilly dally like I do. As Hubby is rushing around yelling at me to “HURRY UP or we won’t make it!”

So, we get there just in time to see the movie, despite threats…

Me: I am going to kill you if you yell at me anymore! ( As we all know I am prone to exaggerate)

Hubby: Not if I kill you first!

We get there with plenty of time…. just as the movie is starting. However, as I sit down next to a lady and her 5 year old (bouncing in his seat, can’t.sit.still.kid) I whisper to Hubby that I am going to move to the other side of him to get away from this kid. We then move down a few seats….a few moments later I hear a shrieking baby to my right. Come on, People? Why are you bringing small children to the movies? Ever heard of babysitters? I don’t know why this makes me sooooo crazy, well probably because we just paid an obscene amount of money to watch a movie, a little quiet could go a long way.

Then we are halfway through the movie and the teens in front of us are whipping out their iphones and playing around, causing a HUGE glare of computer screen to be in my face, while they point, whisper and talk to their friends. (Remind me why they are at the movies if they are just gonna talk on their phones? )Then at about 10 minutes to the end of the movie the people to the right of us start whispering and laughing (mind you the END of Marley and Me is SAD) and Hubby has to SHOOSH them, which doesn’t work that well anyway, but the effort is much appreciated!

We then get out of the movie and I say to Hubby:

Me: Tell me are we just getting old or are the movie patrons getting ruder and ruder?

Hubby: We are just getting old and crochety.

Me: Sad story, while I was hoping that was not the case…I guess we are those crabby people that SHOOSH everyone during the movie, you know the ones we used to make fun of when we were teenagers at the movies.

Hubby: Except WE didn’t have cellphones then!

I guess we really ARE getting THAT old, especially when our idea of a “great movie night” is staying at home in our PJs with some microwave popcorn and a DVD, instead of fighting with people at the movie theatre.

Moments of Silence…

Me: Hubby, will you please drive my mom and sister home because I am too lazy?

Hubby (sitting right across from me): SILENCE

Me: Hubby, don’t you love me?

Hubby (not even looking up): SILENCE

Me (more quietly and sad): Hubby, don’t you love me?

Hubby: SILENCE

Me: I don’t like these moments of silence….you are supposed to jump up and say “YES, Dear of course I will. I love you soooooo much!”

Hubby: SILENCE