I am having the WORST morning that ever existed. Truly. Also part of last night. Let’s start from the top.
Upon arriving home last night from drinking, I was too tired to eat what the Hostage had prepared (I had already eaten, anyways, but that doesn’t matter). I immediately decided I would go to bed SINCE I had been at work for 12. 5 hours (doesn’t matter if I didn’t work the whole time) AND had been up since 3:30 (ungodly). So, there I am, starting to count sheep drifting off to lullaby land when our house phone starts ringing, jolting me out of my bliss. NOT.PRETTY.
It was Hubby, but for some reason the phones weren’t working or something (I have no idea) so he literally called the house about 5 times, everytime, I was nearly asleep. I.wanted.to.kill.him.
I wake up from nightmares at 1am. Not going into detail here because my sister will try and analyze them and they were just NOT.PRETTY. Don’t know why this happened, they were more like comedic, twisted nightmares—all the detail I care to share right now as they still scare me. Really hard to fall back asleep.
!&###! The alarm clock goes of at 3:30AM because I forgot to turn it off yesterday, thus again waking my peaceful sleep. !&###! Not Pretty.
I can’t find Americus, the evil alarm clock cat. Did I see her this morning when I fed her? I can’t even remember. I fed the pets, that part I remember, but that is about it. Feedings in the morning are done in a zombie-like daze. Panic sets in. Did I leave her outside (they get supervised outside time)? Did I shut her in somewhere (I have a tendency to shut her in closets…not on purpose)? Is she in with Rae?
I then spend 27 minutes looking for her, making me late for my workout routine. Still can’t find her. Need to leave. UGH.
The Hostage and Rae have made dishes (from last night) as high as the sky AND left their messes everywhere. This throws me into a crazy, psycho clean freak mode. I can’t deal with messes. All I am saying is, make as many messes as you want, but clean them up, please. I am sure they will clean it up today, but that made the bad witch come out this morning.
I didn’t get to take a shower, so I stink. I was too lazy to take one last night and I assumed I would take one at work, but now I just don’t care. But, my feet are black. Gross.
The stupid hair straightner that I was going to attempt to use, IF I had taken a shower this morning (cleanliness is overrated), is broken. I thought it was just the outlets, but after plugging it into like 10 outlets around the house, I determined it is broken. Yea, I AM that slow in the mornings.
I am forfeitting my morning workout (gasp) in order to write this blog and because I was late getting to work AND because I fear with the way this morning is going, I will probably just end up breaking something…which might not be a bad thing? This is the first day I have missed in 2 weeks. I feel guilty.
I banged my knee hard on my desk this morning. Please don’t ask me how, I am known for my klutziness. I think my desk bit me, actually.
Hasn’t happened yet, but if it does….I am packing everything up and going home.