Tag Archives: advice

The Husband Whisperer

hubby-training

It’s no secret that I love animals.

To get straight to the point, the order of love goes like this: I love my cat Boston, than Patches, than Hubby than Americus–in that order. It isn’t that I DON’T love Hubby, it is just that my pets don’t talk back and they have a tendency to be manipulated with food and favors more easily than Hubby. With this being said, I have learned a few training tactics that I thought I would share with you readers and anyone else who is interested in learning how to handle the difficult husband*.

(*Note: The word husband can be interchanged to be boyfriend, lover, etc., but in my case it directly refers to Hubby)

Here is my GENIUS idea: Write a book or create a television show much like the Dog Whisperer, only I will call it The Husband Whisperer. (Aren’t you glad I got my MBA? I am so amazing with ideas, but the money part, totally lacking…)

Here goes:

Training Tactic 1:

If a situation occurs where the Hubby asks you where his keys or any other item is….DO NOT scamper after him trying to find those items for him. If you do, you are being an ENABLER. Instead, do not acknowledge him and do not stop what you are doing. Instead you must remain silent, ignoring this bad behavior. This is an animal trainer tactic: You don’t reward bad behavior.

Training Tactic 2:

Do not use nagging, a typical last resort wife tactic. Why? Because the more you ask your Hubby to put down the toilet seat, the less he will do it. So, instead start noticing when your Hubby surprises you by doing laundry and thank him profusely; Squeal in delight when he makes you dinner—without being asked, and ALWAYS, ALWAYS praise him for remembering to do an assigned chore or task that is specifically a “boy’s job”. This method is called approximation tactics (I really do watch too much Animal Planet). Also known as the reverse psychology method. This tactic allows you to reward small steps toward a whole new behavior.

Training Tactic 3:

Do try and teach the Hubby to stop doing one bad thing, by associating that thing with another more productive, more positive thing. For example, my Hubby has a tendency to use the computer when I do, especially when I am blogging. This is not normally a problem, because we have two computers, however, he will tend to hover over me and ask me to pass him things while I am trying to type out my amazing thoughts. Not cool, right? So, rather than allow him to continue this bad behavior the key is to give him something else to do, so that if he does follow me into the computer room, I have already plotted out an activity for him to accomplish…such as researching an amazing vacation (Hey! A Wifey can dream) for us or having him work on bills. That way he is lured away from bugging me, and occupied with a different project. This is association theory. Eventually, Hubby will learn to associate my time at the computer with his time to be productive.

I know these tactics seem cruel; but trust me they really DO work because I have been testing them out on Hubby. He, much like the pets, desires to be trained. It is an inner desire to WANT to have some structure and discipline, he just doesn’t realize it all the time. Wife trainers, much like animal trainers, need to learn to reward behavior that is good and ignore behavior that is bad. This is a key tactic to master. Just think about it: You can’t teach your dog to roll over and play dead just by whining and stamping your feet at her, right?

So readers, you are tasked with trying this at home, and let me know how it goes after your trial run. I am interested in determining if I am on to something here…..

 

Now, don’t misunderstand me. I love Hubby sometimes, I really do (he did not pay or bribe me to say this)! However, it is my job to mold him into the perfect Hubby. You know, someone who might annoy me less and who will do what I say….thus making it easier for me to love him, just like I do the pets! J

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Filed under Husbands, I am a genius

My Friendship will Cost You…

but it is totally WORTH it! 🙂

friends

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Filed under Friends, humor

Peep Show

peep_show

As Hubby ponders his mysterious guest post blog, I thought I would help him along with my own blog about what you, dear readers, might like to know about our relationship, Hubby, or myself (we all know I am the most interesting-no ego here).

Think of it like your own private peep show into our lives….get your mind out of the gutters!

This way I can get the deep, dark secrets out of the way before Hubby tells you some whacked out version of a story that I know not to be true. Not that I don’t trust him, but you know…Hubby sometimes can be very evil and I have no idea why. ( I still wonder who he learned his evil ways from, being as innocent and naiive as I am). And not that I have any deep, dark secrets… I just like to keep my best interests in mind—I am good like that.

So, dear readers, list some things you would like to know in the comments section about us….and I will answer them as thorougly and intimately as I can. I mean, as you all already know, our life is an open book (whether Hubby likes it or not) and my side of the story is always right…….always.

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Filed under humor, marriage

What Makes a Marriage Work?

marriage1

This morning I was listening to my sister’s brother-in-law, Mike, on his morning radio show (does that make him my honorary bro in law, since I torture him mercilessly?) at his radio station (check ‘em out they play great music and the morning conversations are amusing), QMFM: http://www.qmfm.com/terryandtara.php?p=terrytara.htm

(sure another shameless plug, but he put my check in the mail, right Mike?)

 

It got me thinking (and that doesn’t happen all the time J). The topic was on marriage and how to make it work, and I am no expert in this area– by any means, but I do have some key things that I think work for Hubby and I, which I thought I would share with you all:

 

1.      Laughter– at yourself and each other. (For all the times I make fun of Hubby, I think it is important to realize that no one is perfect and by being able to laugh at each other, it can only bring you closer)

 

2.      Talk through your problems…or yell through them (Don’t hold stuff inside because you will just end up hurting yourself and each other)

 

3.      Develop rules (AKA the NOT IT rule…..sure, we might laugh about this….but NOT IT keeps the playful spirit alive, The Rules)

 

4.      Remember at the end of the day, no matter how hard or bad it was….that you still have each other ( I know, awwww)

 

5.      Be adventurous and take risks (what have you got to lose?)

 

6.      Be real with each other (one thing I can always depend on Hubby for is his ability to tell it like it is)

 

7.      Remember that marriage is work (it doesn’t take luck to make it work, but real hard work…you have to be involved and willing to try, but that is what makes it more fulfilling)!

 

8.      Don’t try and change each other (Hubby will never change me, no matter how much he tries to get me to cook or clean—but, I think that is part of my charm—and even though I complain about him, I wouldn’t change a thing!)

 

9.      It is no longer about me only, but us (yea, I am still working on this one….but Hubby reminds me that things are “ours”)

 

10.  Be patient (also not a strongpoint for me, but hey I couldn’t have gotten where I am today without him!)

 

Well, these are my own tidbits I have learned, and while I am by no means perfect (I like to think I am), I do realize when I have a good thing…..and I couldn’t live without Hubby! I need him, and I think he needs me to make him laugh at himself and realize life couldn’t be better with anyone else…good times and bad, right Hubby?

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Filed under Husbands, Love, marriage

Keeping It Real…

Snippets of conversations between Hubby and I.  Aren’t we cute? Yea, so life is always interesting…we have never had problems with a lack of things to talk about, I guess that is what makes us so compatible! (Besides the fact that I am AMAZING) 🙂

Here is our advice on keeping it real….

On Carpooling:

Me: You should drive me to work everyday, I need a chauffer!

Hubby: Then you have to get up earlier.

Me: Oh, never mind!

Real life Matters:

Me: If we get divorced, I get our house.

Hubby: I don’t see us getting divorced.

Me: Well, you never know….so I get the house just in case.

On chores:

Me: You have so many chores, when we get home…you have to make lunches, put things away, carry in stuff from the car…etc.

Hubby: What do YOU have to do!

Me: Well, I have to take a shower, and blog.

Hubby: Blogging IS NOT a chore…

Me: Well, it is kinda like it…if I don’t do it, I will disappoint some of my reader’s routines in the morning! I can’t have that kind of pressure on me. 🙂

On love:

Me: Wanna do it?

Hubby: I’m too full from dinner.

Me: Me too…let’s go to bed!

On Death:

more-love

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Filed under growing up, Husbands