Traffic Madness Syndrome (TMS)

So, this morning I had to get up to drive to a different office. I dread going to this office because it is FAR. But, I had Britney going and I thought it wouldn’t be so bad, I even left the house 10 minutes earlier than I needed to. There I am driving along, and singing to Britney when I encounter it. 

THE.WORST.TRAFFIC.EVER.

And no, I am not exaggerating. I tried pinching myself, hoping I was in some kind of disasterous-traffic-induced nightmare. But, I was definately awake. The on-ramp to the highway I usually get on is closed. Thus explaining the huge disaster on the off ramp and side streets. I am stuck. There is no where else to go, except sit in the maddening traffic. Everyone is pissed, driving terribly, and honking on their horns. It was horrible. And that is when I started sweating.

There was no way to avoid it. I was getting TMS (traffic madness syndrome). Before I knew it, I had all the symptoms:

*shouting expletives

*full force anger

*tired, achey muscles from stamping on the breaks

*crabbiness

*lack ot control

*middle finger uncontrollableness

So, instead of taking me maybe 45 minutes to an hour to get here…it took me one hour and 25 minutes exactly!   At least it is Friday! I am scared to think how long it will take me to get home tonight. I have a feeling it is going to be a LOOOOONNNNNGGGGG day.

Stupid Traffic.

I definately have a case of full on TMS. I wonder if they make something for this? You know, some pill or something?  If so, I NEED it. Actually, I know just the thing that will help get me through the day…..

Lunch at Jersey Mike’s! I am starting to feel better already!

You know you need to be committed when…..

THANK GOD this week is over. I have been surrounded by crazy people all day and I cannot get away. I think I am becoming crazy, there is no hope. Crazy pets, crazy drivers, you name it I have seen it.

On my way home from work today, I am driving in bumper to bumper traffic, I am not kidding you. The guy behind me and I merge over, pretty much at the same time. He sticks his middle finger up at me (like I somehow read his mind and merged at the very same second, HELLO, there is a big fat semi in front of me…..DUH) So, what do I do? I stick my middle finger right back up at him. Yea, I am from Brooklyn, YO. So, then he sticks it back at me. Ok, fun…so I do it back. He motions for me to move over…I shake my head no at him while cointinuing the middle finger war game. He then– full speed ahead merges ON THE LEFT (mind you in an oncoming traffic lane) and proceeds to force me to slow down, or be mauled by his stupid yellow Nissan Pathfinder.

I now officially HATE Phoenix. Why are the crazies following me from state to state, and why oh WHY can’t I get away…..I think I need help. Or pills whatever. Luckily, Rae is readily prepared with the booze when I get home…maybe it won’t be a bad weekend after all……

Commuting

I hate driving because people are crazy! I have already established I am NOT a morning person, but to have to commute in, on top of having to get up when it is still dark outside….. well, you would have a better chance of seeing pigs fly then trying to have a logical conversation with me. Not only are people in such a hurry to get to work, but they are also in the mood to just be plain rude (yea, you in the white car: do you feel better now that you cut me off to be one car ahead?)! I mean, really people, what is the hurry to get to work. I know that people (clearly) cannot be THAT excited to be going to work. Alright, what do I know?!

Anyways, on top of a horrible commute in and getting EVERY, SINGLE RED light, I am now ready to start my Monday morning….is it time to go home yet?