Moved–FOR REALS THIS TIME!

Monday= GIVEAWAY DAY!

Check out the cool free stuff at: goodbadandugly2.com!

Well, it’s official. I am moving! No, really! Come join me at goodbadandugly2.com you won’t want to miss out on the most exciting giveaway that has me trembling with excitement. I won’t be updating this site anymore…so if you don’t want to miss out, come join me!

Monday is the big day—for giveaways and celebration because this project was no easy task! The new site is officially launched and you all can start clicking on ads, so I can earn some money (make Hubby proud, people or just support my blogging addiction, either way you are helping me out)!

Make sure you check back on Monday because you won’t want to miss out on a big exciting giveaway. It is WAY awesome and something that will make you chuckle with glee.

So be sure to follow me on my new adventure and site! Don’t forget to change your bookmarks!

 New Site: goodbadandugly2.com

 

And a HUGE thank you to my friend, GB, for helping me through the “creative” process! I literally thought I would kill you at times…but I LOVE the new site…except for….just kidding! And for helping me, after I messed up my site yesterday too…I PROMISE to never touch anything again…

Not a genius…

So, I am not a genius today (shocking, right?).

I was messing around in the new site, NOT making any changes…just seeing what stuff did….and I did something. Apparently something bad cause it isn’t working.

Don’t know what I did…..but hang in there….no one is sadder than me, I think I need to not touch things anymore….

Emails to GB, web person friend, who will probably kill me—I’m thinking he needs to child proof my site  (me being the child here).

Me: Uhhhh you better take a look at my site…..it is messed up, but I didn’t do it!

GB: What did you do? Did you touch something?

Me: No

Me: Well….I mean, I DID just click one plugin thingy to see what it was…and so it MIGHT have been my fault.

GB: no answer, silence

Stay Tuned….

For some EXCITING news!

I have enjoyed blogging SO much that I am going to move to my own site!

Impressive, right?

What’s the catch?

There is none….it is just that Hubby was about to divorce me over my constant blogging…until I convinced him that I could (maybe) make money off of advertisements on my blog. So the hope is that maybe some poor, willing soul will click on some ads and I will make 75 cents, and Hubby will forget my blogging obsession! Good plan, right?

So many of you readers have been so supportive, amazing, and overfed  fed my ego constantly that I decided I needed to reward you! So, thanks for sticking with me and encouraging me and I hope you will follow me to my new site! And due to this EXCTING NEWS, I will be having my FIRST EVER giveaway. That’s right, people, free stuff. EVERYONE likes free stuff!

And this isn’t just any free stuff…this is life-changing free stuff. I know, I can hardly contain it! Just trust me on this one, this giveaway will be one of the most amazing EVER! So, stay tuned….for some exciting developments coming soon and a new website address. Like maybe early next week, if I can get everything in order and stop being a major procrastinator!

 Be ready to change your bookmarks and tell your friends because you are gonna WANT what I am giving away…..I want it myself! So STAY TUNED! 🙂

Google and My Popular Blog

So, I have now been at this blogging thing for awhile now, long enough to consider myself knowledgeable–not yet genius level. Yet. Recently, I have noticed that I get a lot of traffic from being googled. That doesn’t bother me, but the things people type in order to find me are strange to say the least.  Very strange, does this reflect upon me? You know, like I can Google CRAZY and my name pops up? That is just amazing.

Here are some of them from yesterday. Do you get weird Google searches too, or is it just me? I know, I am weird and all, but that’s why you love me, right? And my amazing sense of humor.  

My thoughts are in italics.

Fail –I do like to talk about failing.

home early morning—Early morning? I don’t do mornings.

fail?—Yea, I get it, I am a failure.

your my favorite crazy ass bitch—Hubby, did you search for me this way?

birthday fail—what is with all the failure, people?

husband & wife cartoon—I am all about cartoons. LOVE EM.

broken wedding rings—Is this symbolic of Hubby and me? Are we broken? I see it more like unique.

money tree—I wish someone would find one for me.

stress reduction kit—stress, what is that?

Strange Husband—Yup, I agree.

pics of grown-ups bebies—Huh? Not the B word….

tee ten gee—WTF?

shamwow guy—Thanks, Lori. I know who he is now!

sisters figting—My crazy sisters…yup

Push—hmmm, like shove? I do push people….

funny looking marriage pics—Well, Hubby is a little funny looking.

narnia stone knife—Huh? I am lost here. I don’t think I have ever blogged about Narnia or knifing someone. Yet.

getting up early—Again, the bane of my existence

17th black mourning dress—Black is my favorite color. Black equals death.

fail pictures—I get it, really I do. Everyone finds me through the word FAIL.

bed hog fix—Yup, that is my dog and Hubby.

is elmira ny a good place to leave—Elmira is my town. MMMM Pudgies.

Where do babies come from—Hacim still doesn’t know…

no bills wanted—Can this be my motto when getting the mail?

Crazy people are eating me—DUDE, stay away….

 

 

 

TBA, on the Worse Half’s Blog

Hubby’s a little scared. (And shy)

He feels a little overwhelmed by all of your excitement to read his innermost thoughts (well only some of you expressed excitement). Also fyi, he is not the best writer, so I will probably have to proof his guest post anyway.

However, he IS excited to let you in on his inner most secrets about being married to the most wonderful, beautiful, coolest, self-sacrificing, chore doing, best listner, patient and most amazing wifey that anyone could ever ask for EVER. He might even tell you the secret to finding someone as amazing as me. Or he might just tell you once you find that amazing someone….take them to Vegas, get them drunk, and marry them.

Well ok, maybe it didn’t happen EXACTLY like that….but I guess we will have to wait to see what he has to say.

Until then, I will hold my (bated) breath in anticipation with the rest of you. I guess you will just have to keep checking in to see when he feels the need to inpart his words of wisdom to the masses. After all, he did go to Yale– however, I pretty much wrote his thesis….

He Said, She said…

Hubby wants to do a guest posting on my blog.  He thinks he has valuable widsom to impart….I think he just wants to bag on me….

I told him he should get his own blog!

What do you think? Should I let him?

Survival of the Wittiest….or something like that.

The season finale version of America’s Next Top Blogger is brought to you by a fellow blogger, who just might be my twin sister. Well you know how they always say there is a twin out there of you….I think I found my writing twin….the brit, the american and the rest of australia.  

the american would like to know about etiquette:

 

1.       If you bump into someone, say a colleague, and they say “hi, how was your weekend/how are you?” is it rude to just say “hi. fine.” and not ask how their weekend was? i do it all the time but feel like an asshole. but really i don’t care.

2.      If you sit across from someone who has hayfever and is sneezing all day, do you have say “Gezhundeit/bless you” every time or can you just say it once and leave it that without explaining yourself?

3.      If someone kind of smelly sits next to you on the bus/tram/train/waiting room (but they’re not homeless or anything. it’s just been a hot day and they’re wearing a suit), is it rude to get up and sit someplace else? i did that the other day and got the look of death. wha…?

4.      When we get cupcakes catered in for someone’s birthday the office, is it rude to skip the “happy birthday” speech in the beginning and just show up late, grab a cupcake and run back to you desk?

Whew, you definitely have some interesting questions. And I have some answers.

I will let you in on a little secret.

What I say and what I am thinking, especially at work, usually don’t coincide, but that is because I am surrounded by crazies, so I see it more like survival of the wittiest, only under my breath. I know, if ONLY I really could say what I was thinking all the time. But, alas, the world doesn’t work that way.

My advice:  answer these questions really, really honestly and people will stop asking you questions and just avoid you, which is the ultimate goal, right? So, I will now attempt to answer your questions

Sure, I may sound a little nuts, but who isn’t these days?

Here are the answers I would give to your questions:

1.      My weekend was horrible, I spent the whole weekend in the toilet and had explosive squirts. I think I might still have them. OOOOOO I just felt something gotta run, bye!  (See this way, you answered, and left just as quickly…)

2.      Well, being that I was just sick and attempting to spread my germs in mass destruction, I would instead say: Are you trying to get me sick? Why don’t you just go home? I am allergic to sick people. Then start scratching yourself and rubbing your eyes. If this doesn’t work, at least you can tell your boss about your “allergies” and go home anyways.

3.      I would most definitely move seats! Only I would say…sorry, I haven’t showered in days and I don’t think anyone should be subjected to my stench. Plus, I just ate a bean burrito from Taco Bell and it isn’t sitting so well…..

4.      My suggestion….go before anyone gets there…eat all the cupcakes and then show up and ask where they all are, but make sure to leave a little frosting on your lips!

So, that is my definition for etiquette. Do we share the same brain?

Wha..?

So, in case you didn’t notice. I had to change my avatar. Yep. Didn’t really want to, but some of you weirdos out there thought it resembled a (hmmmm how do I put this delicately) well, where babies come out (Thanks, Hacim).

What do you think? I guess I just don’t have a twisted mind…wait I take that back….

Oh well, thank goodness for new avatars!

It's a cat nose!

Huh?

This topic of America’s Next Top Blogger is brought to you courtesy of Ram at http://foodhere.wordpress.com/ . He wanted a dialogue between Harland Sanders, Toller Cranston, and Scooby Do. Yea, this is definitely out of my comfort level, so bear with me people. I wasn’t even sure who Toller Cranston was….I knew the rest, well mostly Scooby! J

Setting the scene:

Scooby Do has just helped himself to Shaggy’s Special Brownies off the counter. He is now doggy dreaming on the couch.

Scooby (sleep talking as brownies dance in his head): MMMM me love brownies.

Harland Sanders (appearing out of nowhere in Scooby’s dream): Don’t you want some Kentucky Fried Chicken?

Scooby: MMMM chicken.

Harland Sanders: It is finger licken good! Scoob, I will trade you some chicken for some of your brownies…

Scooby: Ok.

Toller Cranston: Hey, I want some too!

Scooby: Who are you? Are you Brian Boitano? I loved that Southpark song.

Toller Cranston: I am not Brian Boitano! I don’t even look like him.

Scooby (singing): 

What would Brian Boitano do
If he was here right now,
He’d make a plan
And he’d follow through,
That’s what Brian Boitano’d do.

Shaggy (shaking Scooby hard): Scooby, want some chicken? I just got back from KFC! Hey! Did you eat all my brownies?

Scooby: Yea…and they gave me the weirdest dreams….Mmmm chicken.

 

 Well, Ram, hope this did it for you…as you can see, I don’t have much experience with the “magic brownies”

 

An Experience to Remember

Sorry, I know I am behind in these…but I was on furlough! 🙂 So, for those of you still left…I promise to catch up to you this week!

Today’s America’s Next Top Blogger is brought to you from a new reader, Thoughts From Under My Rock. I believe she and I might have quite a lot in common in our adventures at the grocery store. And with that being said, makes for very sad times.

Her topic was: Tell me about the biggest pet peeve you have regarding other people at the store (grocery, department, pharmacy, whatever), inside the store or out (or both), and then I’d like a very adjective and adverb-filled description of what you’d like to do to them for stirring up your fury… I wanna see if you and I think anything alike.

NOTE: As for adjective and adverb filled descriptions: This blog has censored them out…..sorry

Let me start out by stating two facts you need to know about me:

1.      I hate shopping (I know, shocking right?)

2.      I hate dumb people (if you recall, I emit the KRZY vibe, so these people ALWAYS find me.)

And for some reason, I seem to be plagued with both of these burdens, usually at the same time and usually at the grocery store. Why, oh why do the two things I dread most seem to go hand in hand? Never mind, don’t answer that. I’d rather not know.

So, here’s what happened:

Hubby and I were living in Connecticut at the time, while he attended graduate school at Yale. We got up early one Saturday morning to go to the grocery store. Mind you, this is a rare experience when in graduate school because we usually lived off of PB & J, however it must have been a payday week! J

Anyway, we have just finished off our grocery shopping experience, quite painlessly, I might add and I am off returning the cart, when the KRZY vibe strikes—paging everyone on the parking lot to come and get me.

I see a nice grocery cart boy pushing carts towards the entrance of the store, he was literally two feet from me. So, rather than push the cart to the cart collection area, I thought I would call him and just give him my cart to add to his pile.                

Me: Excuse me. Can I hand you my cart?

Cart Boy (clearly turns around and sees me, but pretends he is deaf or mute)

Me: Excuse me!?  (CENSORED ADJECTIVE)

Cart Boy (again turns around looks at me and again turns around as if I am invisible)

Me (now standing in the middle of the street, clearly astounded at Cart Boy’s rudeness while Hubby watches and laughs) (CENSORED ADVERB)

So, let me paint a picture for you, there I am standing in the middle of the road (with Hubby watching and laughing) astounded that Cart Boy would diss me like that…when a car rudely starts honking at me (ok, I will give you that one, I was standing in the street like a moron, but that is besides the point…)

The honking quickly brings me back to reality, I slowly wave and shrug my shoulders at the people in the car, like…I can’t believe this is happening, trying to point at (the now NOT NICE) cart boy.

When the lady in the car starts screaming, honking, and yelling at me, while her 10 year old in the front seat starts flicking me off with his middle finger. ARE.YOU.SERIOUS? (CENSORED ADJECTIVE AND ADVERB)

Hubby: LAUGHING SO LOUD

Me: I HATE CONNECTICUT AND ALL YOU RUDE PEOPLE! Did you see that, HUBBY? Can you believe all that just happened to me?  (CENSORED ADJECTIVE AND ADVERB)

Hubby: UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER

Me (clearly saddened at the state of mean people in this world): Why can’t people just be nice? It is SATURDAY for goodness sake! They don’t have any reason to be mean, they aren’t even at work! (CENSORED ADJECTIVE AND ADVERB)

And, that dear readers, is what happened to me and why KRZY vibes and Connecticut just don’t mix. EVER.