My Sister, the Birthday Whore

Yesterday was my sister, Sar’s, birthday and she was CRAZY. Why, you ask? Well let’s start the list:

1. She thinks everyone has to stop everything because it is HER day….ummm hello? Some people have to work.

2. She thinks she doesn’t get a day, but a whole month…..yea right. Everyone knows that only Christmas babies (AKA me) get a whole month to celebrate their birthdays!

3. She refuses to share birthday celebrations with her Hubby. We ALREADY had birthday bash this weekend…but it was for her Hubby, which means we have to have another birthday bash exclusively for her. CRAZY.

4. Lastly because I get these kinds of emails from her, while at work:

(Clearly, she is delusional and clearly she left off the list the BEST part: ALCOHOL)

So I wanted a healthy dinner tonight. – Chopped salad
Spinach salad
boiled eggs
peppers
cucumbers
cilantro
turkey bacon (i think we have some)
grapes
walnuts
Gorgonzola cheese – or the smoked Gouda chopped up in it.
olives
artichokes
rotisserie chicken – we should just buy and cut some of the flavorful chicken in the salad – yum
good salad dressing – I really want the cilantro dressing from trader joe’s – maybe i’ll run by and pick some up on my way home.
And anything else good you can think of to add
french bread with olive oil (we have the olive oil)

Chainsaw Snores and Waffle Nazi’s

So, this past weekend, Hubby and I went to California to visit his family for his Grandmother’s birthday. I must admit, I was a little remiss to make a turn-around trip ( mostly because I HATE road trips, I am just not a good traveler and we were up there for one one whole day and half the next morning), but I am glad we went. We had a great time with the family despite some minor obstacles.

We drove up late Saturday night and arrived basically in time to go to bed. Hubby was hoping a night without the pets and a NOISY sister would allow for a good night’s sleep. (AWWW, isn’t he sweet?) However, he couldn’t have been MORE wrong on that one. His dad, in the next room, was snoring SO LOUD that I thought he might wake up the entire hotel. And I don’t mean light snoring, I mean shaking our room so the walls shake and there might be an earthquake snoring. I mean just imagine that the snoring is SO.VERY.LOUD that even a pillow over your head won’t block out the noise! Yea, it was bad and since I could barely sleep, I decided to wake Hubby up too.

What? He shouldn’t be sleeping, if I’m not!

Me: PSSSST Hubby!

Hubby: Huh….Wha?

Me: HOW does your Mom sleep through THAT snoring?

Hubby(falling back asleep): Ugh. I have no idea

Me: PSSSST Hubby…I can’t sleep. PSST. PSST PSST…..

fastforward next morning

Dad: How’d you guys sleep?

Us: NOT AT ALL! YOU SNORE!

Dad: No I don’t. I wear breath right strips.

Us: They don’t work!

So then we all decide to go to breakfast. The hotel we were staying at had a waffle maker where you could make your own waffles! I was SUPER excited. I.LOVE.FOOD. And am particulary fond of breakfast food. However here’s what happened:

There I am minding my own business, making waffles when I am approached by a crazy-haired waffle nazi lady (WNL) with a psycho look in her eye.

WNL: Whose waffle is in there?

Me: Mine.

WNL: Well, did you set the timer? I mean geez.

Me: No, I don’t need timers, I can magically sense when it is done. I am just THAT good. (under my breath so she didn’t hear me): psycho I am going to throw my waffle in your face

WNL: I mean geezus there are A LOT of people here wanting waffles. You can’t hog the waffle machine!

She was terrible people, she was just crazy and very obnoxious about the waffle machine. Who knew that waffles would bring out the worst in people?

How do these crazies ALWAYS find me…even on vacation?

Fun Family Conversations

Just some snippets of family conversation I thought you would enjoy from the holidays.

Mom-in-law to Hubby: Go pull your thing out and let’s play with it!

Hubby, Hubby’s sister and I start laughing…..yea, all of our minds were in the gutter that time!

FYI: she was referring to his baking….AND this is pre-drinking….

Later On that night…

Hubby: OOO OOO look Adult Emporium (XXX) is open…

Dad-in-law (on our way to the Boudros): We might stop there on our way back….we have so many batteries!

Hubby: Ummmm there is such a thing as TMI…and we have just reached that point.

And then at Christmas/Birtday time….

Me (opening my birthday gifts): OO OOO these are the bedsheets I wanted!

Everyone: What material are they?

Me: Satin-like, you know slip and slide material….

Gotta love family entertainment…it is even free!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Yea, so it is nearing my favorite Holiday. Not just because it is Christmas, but because it is my birthday on Christmas too! What better of a present could Mom have asked for? 🙂  (Speechless, right? No snide comments from my sisters….OR Hubby!)

Not only is it great because it is my birthday, Christmas, and I get presents. But, generally the crazy people are more tame during this time of the year (well, I suppose as long as you are not shopping)! People are generally (supposed to be) nicer and in the giving mood, my sisters have to be nice to me (MY Birthday MONTH), and we get to decorate and pick out my birthday tree while listening to  Christmas music.

So, generally my whole outlook is pretty good.  Drinking, eating and presents (in that order) what more could one ask for? 

Oh yea, no shoveling snow this year….even better! WOO HOO! (Although I do find it weird that it is December and I am still wearing short sleeves sitting outside with hubby and not even the least bit cold).

And the fun begins….