A Rating of the Hostage

The Hostage survived his torture last week.

I cannot give him 4 stars because he was being insubordinate. EVIL HOSTAGE. So, with that being said, I give him a 3 out of 4 stars.

(For those of you that need an explanation; the hostage is my baby sister’s Boy and we took him as a hostage while the Hubby was out of town so we could eat something besides cereal.)

His food was great, he kept up on conversations and he even did some dishes.

I like this.

I think I will keep him, except I am going to glue his mouth shut. FOREVER. He has no right to talkback because it is his JOB to serve us.

I did tell him though, thanks to you faithful readers, that I think we might have a new business on our hands. I even told him I would go 70/30 with him. It could be called RENT A HOSTAGE. I am FULL of great ideas!

Conversation with the Hostage:

Me (a bit too excitedly): I will do all the marketing, writing, and web design (cause I am amazing like that) and all you have to do is all the work, i.e. cooking, cleaning. Not too bad, right?

Hostage (skeptical): Is that right?

Me: Yea, I mean, it would be awesome. You’d have a lot of work, make some money and I will manage you cause I am the brains behind this business. (I mean that is why I got my MBA, right? Totally genius material here)

Hostage: Yea, I just don’t think it would work.

I think I am on to something here….anyone want to be my financial backer?

Advice 101

Someone recently asked me how Hubby and I make it work. I racked my brain for some thought-provoking, amusing, logical answer and then I ran upon this comic, which sums it up way better than I could.

How Hubby and I make marriage work:

Work Quirks

I must confess, I am a people avoider. I shouldn’t have to explain much, other than the fact that I attract those with the KRZY vibe. That being said, I have to take precautions. Since some of you seem to be like me, I thought I would share my tactics because you never know what we can learn from each other. Feel free to share a couple of yours, if they are good ones. 🙂

How to Effectively Avoid People

1. I usually use the stairs. Stairs equal less people.

2. When I do use the elevator, I usually try and press the “door close” button right away. You don’t want to get stuck in the elevator with people and have to use small talk. Ugh that is a killer. Like I care what you did this weekend.

3. Sometimes I have to go hide in the bathroom. Just to get some peace.

4. Caller Id is the best thing ever invented. I swear, I wasn’t at my desk….

5. Uh huh. Yes, I agree. You are so right on that one! I can definately see your point. Are all phrases you should use when you want someone to think you agree with what they are saying. This, in the long term, gets them out of your office faster.

6. Find hiding spots for lunch, breaks and nap time. Otherwise, people will attack you during your break time with projects.

7. Sometimes it is ok to hide under your desk.

8. Being sick at work is a good thing because it keeps the masses away. Think of it like your own personal bug spray.

9. It is important to feign ignorance because you don’t want people to think you are too smart, they will only ask you to do more.

10. Pretending to use a cellphone is key. I pretend to check my voicemail in the elevator, when people get in. I pretend to use my cellphone at my desk. I pretend to use my cellphone wherever I go….that way, I appear busy, unavailable. This equals no time for small talk. Use it to your advantage.

What Makes a Marriage Work?

This morning I was listening to my sister’s brother-in-law, Mike, on his morning radio show (does that make him my honorary bro in law, since I torture him mercilessly?) at his radio station (check ‘em out they play great music and the morning conversations are amusing), QMFM: http://www.qmfm.com/terryandtara.php?p=terrytara.htm

(sure another shameless plug, but he put my check in the mail, right Mike?)

 

It got me thinking (and that doesn’t happen all the time J). The topic was on marriage and how to make it work, and I am no expert in this area– by any means, but I do have some key things that I think work for Hubby and I, which I thought I would share with you all:

 

1.      Laughter– at yourself and each other. (For all the times I make fun of Hubby, I think it is important to realize that no one is perfect and by being able to laugh at each other, it can only bring you closer)

 

2.      Talk through your problems…or yell through them (Don’t hold stuff inside because you will just end up hurting yourself and each other)

 

3.      Develop rules (AKA the NOT IT rule…..sure, we might laugh about this….but NOT IT keeps the playful spirit alive, The Rules)

 

4.      Remember at the end of the day, no matter how hard or bad it was….that you still have each other ( I know, awwww)

 

5.      Be adventurous and take risks (what have you got to lose?)

 

6.      Be real with each other (one thing I can always depend on Hubby for is his ability to tell it like it is)

 

7.      Remember that marriage is work (it doesn’t take luck to make it work, but real hard work…you have to be involved and willing to try, but that is what makes it more fulfilling)!

 

8.      Don’t try and change each other (Hubby will never change me, no matter how much he tries to get me to cook or clean—but, I think that is part of my charm—and even though I complain about him, I wouldn’t change a thing!)

 

9.      It is no longer about me only, but us (yea, I am still working on this one….but Hubby reminds me that things are “ours”)

 

10.  Be patient (also not a strongpoint for me, but hey I couldn’t have gotten where I am today without him!)

 

Well, these are my own tidbits I have learned, and while I am by no means perfect (I like to think I am), I do realize when I have a good thing…..and I couldn’t live without Hubby! I need him, and I think he needs me to make him laugh at himself and realize life couldn’t be better with anyone else…good times and bad, right Hubby?