Monster House

Hubby called yesterday to see if I was behaving myself. Well, as we all know…I am never one to behave myself…especially when I don’t get my afternoon nap in on my furlough day. 

Hubby: So, what have you been up to?

Me: Scaring small children in the neighborhood.

Hubby: How?

Me: Well, this little boy came to our door and wanted me to go look for his ball that he threw into our yard. I went out and looked for it, but couldn’t find it. It was annoying, it was like he wanted me to fetch his ball and I wasn’t all about that. So, I told him he could come in and go into the backyard and look for it if he wanted it that bad. I mean, he shouldn’t have thrown it into our yard in the first place. Only he got really scared and said “I don’t think my Mom would let me go into a stranger’s house.” So, I said sorry—I can’t find it….and shut the door and locked it.

(Note: Now before you all get mad at me, you need to realize our backyard is filled with weeds that come up to my knees AND giant landmines….not people friendly….so while I did take a quick glance around….I wasn’t about hacking through our weed jungle to find the missing ball. AND the kids are constantly throwing stuff into our backyard….so forgive me for my lack of patience.)

Hubby: Awww poor little boy! You are so mean. He probably now associates you as the MEAN OLD LADY in the neighborhood. Way to start a reputation.

The Bad Influence

Since moving to AZ, Patches Phoenix (the dog) has found her lover (her cousin Sydney). Well, we think they like each other a lot since they are constantly licking inside each other’s mouths. Not that we mind…..but sometimes you shouldn’t be that forthright—in front of the parents. Now Sydney is a lab (you can read all about her in her blog called: After Dinner Entertainment: Priceless).

If you’ve ever read Marley and Me, that is Sydney. She is a lab, but definitely has some issues. You cannot leave out flip flops, sometimes she mistakes carpets for bathrooms, and she also is TOY CRAZY. She enjoys taking out all her toys and leaving them EVERYWHERE. And I mean after she has come over….I will find toys hidden in the weirdest spots DAYS later. So, what I am getting at is that Patches is impressionable. She has always been pretty clean and low key…her downfall is whining….and I mean CONSTANT whining…if you are not touching her constantly then she is whining. But for the most part she has always been well-behaved, non-messy, and cute. Until now…..

Sydney has taught Patches the art of TOY Chaos. Now I sometimes come home to toys strewn about the living room, as terror grips my heart…. WHAT? I hate picking up toys! She has also taught Patches how to tear the toys up….first take off their eyes, then slit their throats, then pull out all the stuffing and toss it about the house? What is this world coming too?

What is happening to my good dog (ok my semi-good dog)? She used to be so good, she used to clean up her toys…..what a bad influence cousins are!