The Dirty Fighter

LOUD NOISE of dog throwing up next to me in the computer room.

Me (shouting): NOT IT! HUBBY, NOT IT!

Hubby (angrily): That does NOT count!

Me (sweetly, if that is EVEN possible): Yes it does, I need to get in the shower and get ready for bed. (Remember I get up at 4:30, it doesn’t matter that it is only 8pm)

Hubby: It is still early; you have PLENTY of time to clean up the dog throw up.

Me: WHATEVER, you still owe me from when Americus was sick (thankfully she is better now—though we still don’t know what was wrong with her) because I cleaned up LOADS of vomit and poo.

Hubby(clearly exasperated): Uh huh. Well then fine, I will clean this up, but you have to sift the cat litter.

Me (whiney): Please, Hubby! Can’t you do it? I am heading into the shower right now…

10 minutes later

Hubby (NOW YELLING at his cute wifey): Are you STILL on that computer!? You cannot call not it and not even head to the shower!

Me (now yelling because Hubby is yelling): We are in a fight! I am going to write you a hate blog!

Me: Running to shower

Fighting 101

The Night of the Great Litter Crisis

Being the good wife that I am (don’t gasp in shock), I meandered around the house gathering all the trash for trash night….which included the dreaded task of cleaning the litter box. Yea, hard to believe, but you guys should be proud of me; I didn’t even shout NOT IT! So there I am sifting then dumping all the disgusting pee balls and poop logs (yea, I feel as though you need a visual) when lo and behold, I go to grab the fresh litter container…and barely anything comes out. Not even enough to cover the bottom of the litter pan. For you non-cat owners it is like someone putting back a basically empty milk container into the fridge and you go to grab a nice, refreshing glass of milk and all that is left are droplets. Yea, I know….THE AUDACITY! So, then that evil demon cat, Americus decides to take a nice pee in that barely- there litter. What is her deal? I mean whenever we clean out the litter…it is like vultures circling their prey, I don’t know what it is about my cats and fresh litter…but they will not allow it to stay fresh. It is like a cardinal sin to them. I will never understand this.

So I tell hubby to run and get some….but he doesn’t want to go anywhere without me? I don’t know where this fear of going out alone comes from….but there is no way I am getting into that car (I mean I WAS doing CHORES WITHOUT BEING ASKED—give me some props here).  So, we glare at each other…I even try the NOT IT rule. Doesn’t work. I am afraid, dear readers, Hubby is reading the blog too much and starting a revolt against this NOT IT rule. I will not be defeated by Hubby’s obstinance…..I can reign him back in with favors! ( I hope).

Anyways, we are still in crisis mode……no solutions…yet. It is a standoff of the great litter crisis. Only the strong can survive. Better call Rae to save the day.