Yesterday morning, a friend and I went to Starbucks to get some caffeine. After the crap that happened yesterday morning, I thought the jolt of caffeine could be useful. Little did I know what was awaiting me on the other side of the counter….but Mr. PSYCHO, WAY TOO HAPPY, Starbucks guy. Being the cynic that I am, I couldn’t help but ask him about his jolliness at this ungodly hour in the morning!
Starbucks Psycho Guy on Crack (WAAAAAAY To Chipper): Hey there! How are YOU guys? What can I get you? Isn’t it a BEAUTIFUL morning? What a WONDERFUL day!
Me (incredulous at his audacity to be happy): WHOA! You are way too happy right now! Do you chow down on coffee beans?
Starbucks Psycho Guy on Crack (smiling so big, I think he might pull a muscle): Oh No! I don’t even DRINK coffee!
Me (ready to jump the counter and kill him): BUT, you work at Starbucks! What time do you wake up and go to sleep at night?
Starbucks Psycho Guy on Crack: I go to bed at midnight and get up at 2:30am.
Friend: But that is like 2.5 hours of sleep.
Starbucks Psycho Guy on Crack : I know, life is just so grand! I am just so happy and blessed and I LOVE my job!
Me (LOUDLY): You are just WAY too happy.
Exiting Starbucks
Friend: Your smile, as he was talking, was so fake. I thought you were going to jump the counter and really strangle that guy!
Me: The thought DID cross my mind. I just hate happy people.
The Good the Bad and the Ugly 
Happy people must be stopped!
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I guess you don’t need a latte when you have crack on hand!
Other ways to get caffeine. Red Bull addiction.
A-freakin-men! I hate slap-happy people, too. Their parents clearly didn’t beat them enough.
Morning people, especially Monday-morning people, are beyond me. I think they’re a rare breed that scientists developed in secret just to see how long it would take the rest of grumpy humankind to kill them…
People who love their job too much are also beyond me.
I hate happy people as well…thats why I dont go to starbucks, drunkin donuts, or krispy kremes thats where they all comiserate…Zman sends
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