The Curious Case of the Bed Hog

(NOTE: The following story is a true event. The place and names HAVE NOT been changed to protect the identity of the party involved.)

I have always liked laying on the floor. I enjoy watching movies, tv and even sometimes (gasp) sleeping on the floor. For as long as I can remember, my sisters and I have made “floor beds” on the floor with tons of blankets and pillows, so I guess that is why I love the floor so much.

Lately, every morning without fail, Hubby finds me asleep on the floor right beside the bed. I don’t know why I do this. Sometimes I am hot, sometimes I must sleep walk, and sometimes I think it is a curious case of the bed hog that pushes me to the floor…maybe.

Here is the bed hog: (and yes, she really does sleep like this)

Patches AKA BED HOG

Patches AKA BED HOG

The Bed Hog is always HOGGING the bed, if not hogging the bed, then kicking me with her feet. Why does she sleep on the bed you ask? Because IF she does not get her way, she will WHINE and WHINE and WHINE, until I want to strangle her….and try as I might I CAN’T ignore her. ( I know she does sound a lot like me, huh?)

So, this morning, I woke up a couple of times to a gagging, hacking cough-like sound over my head. I thought to myself why is HUBBY sounding like that? Only to semi-wake up and find myself on the floor, Patches laying length-wise on my side, with her head on my pillow looking down at me gag-coughing.

Strange, I think to myself:

1. How did I end up on the floor, while my dog is in MY bed next to MY Hubby, looking down at me, like I am the dog?

2. Is she going to throw up a hairball on me?

Curious, very curious indeed….

Pretty "Princess" Patches

Pretty "Princess" Patches

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8 Comments

Filed under humor, Pets, Sleep Habits

8 responses to “The Curious Case of the Bed Hog

  1. LOVE IT! She’s so cute!

  2. aww, you make me miss having a dog. couldn’t ship my dog to australia and i was heartbroken. i miss getting kicked off the bed by the dog!

  3. american, I am so glad I am not the only one, maybe all dogs are plotting this and feign innocence…

  4. steppingthru

    Our cat, Pete, follows us to bed each night and lays right between us right by our chests. If Coach leans over to kiss me Pete will wiggle closer to me. We usually have to pick him up and throw him off the bed. In the morning he is back up there but usually by our feet. I never thought I would let a pet sleep with us. What softies we have become.

  5. Hahahaha. I have a border collie [Thor] who does the EXACT same thing. I often roll over in to morning to a pair of hairy balls right in my face… And more often than not, I am abruptly awoken in the middle of the night because I have just almost fallen off of the bed. He lays on his side and stretches his legs out right into my back. Its amazing how strong he is when he’s asleep. But I dont sleep the same when Thor isn’t in my bed! 🙂

  6. Aw, cute Patches! Careful though, you might wake up one morning and realize she’s become you and that Hubby thinks she’s you and that you’re the dog! The plus side of this of course will be that she’s the one who’ll have to go to work while you’ll get to lounge around and beg for food…

  7. bookwormbethie

    hilarious! ben doesn’t sleep in our bed, but he does have couch privledges and he always has to be between me and my hubby and he will totally take over the couch if you get up for a snack or to use the bathroom, and even if you pretend to sit on his head, he will not budge

  8. Pingback: Strange Phenomenons « The Good the Bad and the Ugly

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